New here, would love some reassurance!

[littlepossum]

Hi everyone, I've just joined. I have such terrible Health Anxiety and I've got to the point where I really need to do something about it. I'm a stay at home Mum with two beautiful toddlers and trying to ensure my anxiety never affects them or interferes with my parenting is just exhausting. I've always had mild health anxiety but having children has made it 100 times worse it seems! I ricochet from believing I have one serious illness to another, in just the last 3 months alone I have gone through bowel cancer, stomach cancer, MS and Brain tumour fears. I over analyse absolutely everything my body does and as my husband says, I continually add 2+2 and get 64! Going to the Docs rarely eases my mind as Doctors are so careful these days and would rather put you through a lengthy ritual of tests you don't need rather than put it down to anxiety. Once the Doctor tells me its nothing though I seem to move on to the next 'disease'! I feel so self absorbed, indulging myself and my sub-consious in such morbid thoughts all the time, but how on earth do I stop doing it? I'm starting to think my only route is medication. Any comfort or advice would be so greatly appreciated x

[Bramwell]

All I can say is I understand you perfectly.

I've had health anxiety for many years off and on.

I too whizz from one illness scare to the next and like you have almost been through the medical dictionary!

My only advice (which I don't follow) is NEVER Google - it'll frighten the life out of you every time.

[claireius1976]

hunny been there - only 2 months ago i diagnosed myself with cancer and every terrible thing going, its the adrenalin running through , when you panic or diagnose rationalise in your head, is it real, will it really kill you etc . a panic attack can roughly only last for hour most but aniexty can last and last . do never google or read medical books and self diagnose worse thing ever google for that. when you feel like this distract yourself , read a book, play with kids etc . The best thing i do is think well im still here so not serrious and if docs were worried about anything serious they would get you up that hospital qucik sticks!!!!!!!! i know you dont want the route of tablets but perhaps short term to get you back on track, your a busy bee at end of day and sometimes us wonderwomen just need a lil looking after xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi littlepossum

I relate to what you are saying

Always suffered with anxiety even from a child myself , felt different to everyone else , thought I was going to dies even as a child

Got married & had mt first child & thats when my health anxiety really kicked in

Back then , you didnt have to make an appointment to see GP , you would just go & sit & wait , I was there everyday before they even opened . brain tumour was one of the main ones , along with like others say everything else you could think of !

Played it down though as there was not as much understanding as there is today & was afraid they would think I was mad if i said to much & then I would loose my daughter , so suffered in silence , therefore building on the fear (as now I can see that )

Turned to drink to try & escape myself , now that could have killed me & nearly did

Been stopped 20 years as thank god " a day at a time " i stopped just before it was to late , that has left me with some health problems , i did pay a price

For me I never felt worthy , so when I had my children (cutting this short 3 in all ) I felt I would be took away from them as they were the best thing that ever happened to me , reulted in spending all the time as they were growing up in a state of anxiety (they are now 32, 26 & 18 )

Would watch other mums what seemed like having fun with there children & felt so bad I knew I wanted to be like them & was missing out , even though some how , I managed to take care of mine & give them love , but so busy worrying that the best thing in my life I wasnt enjoying !

I am now 50 & because I never opened up , still suffer , & have genuine health problems but still get fearful & blow other things up out of proportion

I would say , this is now spoken about , more support & understanding than ever there used to be , people do understand more & there is help , take it , dont do what I did & let it grow in you till it becomes a part of you

Please dont Google , things , I have banned myself & already just that has made an improvement !

Go to your GP , tell them how you feel , they have heard it all before , & more , they may feel something would help , they may not , worth going for a chat though

Like I have said I have suffered years , I dont think I am stupid , but it has took finding this site , reading posts , taking what I relate to , to understand the more I feed this the worse it will get , suggested to accept how I feel & then it becomes less of a fear , already that has become a big help

Look through the site , I would see my GP , no you are not alone & no that you can improve your thoughts you have ,, takes time , but it has to be better than how you feel

Every one on here will support you & are understanding , so post & post if you feel like it ! talking helps especially when people really understand

whywhy xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sorry about all the spelling mistakes , doing two jobs at a time & getting distracted !!!

[littlepossum]

Thank you all for such lovely reassuring responses. I'm a terrible 'googler' for medical symptoms so will take your advice immediately and ban it, you never read anything good do you? Going to the doctors tomorrow to talk it over and see what he says.

whywhy, I can't believe all you've been through. I too feel terrified that a disease is going to take me away from my beautiful children and I do think that's the root of my problem.

It's good not to feel like a nutter for a change, and communicate with others who feel that same. My Mum (wonderfully supportive as she is) repeatedly tells me to 'snap out if it'..if only it were that simple!

Thank you all x

[Hidden in reply to littlepossum]

I am so pleased to hear you are going to see GP , thats a big start , tell them all , if you think you will struggle write it down & pass it them

littlepossum , i dont want you to go through what i went through & even though its took me years , I now realise you dont have to & am willing you on that you can get the better of this , as i no you will be here in years to come & want you to not miss out like I did , we can never get those years back , I no now , even though I do have a brilliant relationship with my kids & they have turned out something to be proud of ! suprised at that some days lol

Mums are great , & "snap out of it " is what mine used to say in a loving way , but unless you have been there or are going through something , you cannot understand , she means well though , but like you say " if only you could " its not that easy , but as you can see can be done , from all the posts

Yes I have put a ban on myself on Google , 2 weeks now , wish I had done it sooner , what ever you look up , if you are like me , i kept searching till i found the worse answer , then that was the one I must have !!! ignored all the milder ones , straight to the "big guns " that was what I was doing

Please resist , come on here if you feel the urge

Let us no how you go on

whywhy xxx

[Hidden in reply to littlepossum]

I too am a googler ,but I'm going to stop,I convince myself every day iv got something serious,every little pain etc I live alone since I lost my husband and and son,some days I'm convinced il die,but I have a very supportivegp and a good friend ,and this site ,which is brill,il get ther 1day and lead a normal life,stick with it ur not alone love xx

[Hidden]

Littlepossum

Good luck...being a mum with small kids is terrifying...but you are doing a fantastic job...glad you are not Googling any more! Keep reminding yourself of all the good things you are doing and give yourself a pat on the back. Try to live each day as it comes and at the end of each day remind yourself again of how much you got right during that day....good luck....it will pass......xx Babushka