Seeking reassurance

[kama24]

I am ashamed to post this. I am so fed up with not being able to get control over the overwhelming FEAR & anxiety that is with me as soon as I wake up and continues for about half a day. Yes, I am well informed about possible aids to help as I've battled this for over 7 years now. It is difficult to explain it exactly, like smothering fear in my stomach and that I'm short of breath, 'FEAR I'm going to die. Logically I know this is not true or I would of either at sometime passed out by now or be dead. I realize there are so many others in far worse off with health situations and they are so brave. I guess what I am asking is........are there any others who battle fear on a daily basis. Do you think there is any hope for us. I apologize for dumping my worries on you

[Adamj]

I do think there’s hope I also think trying to learn coping mechanisms helps a lot deep breathing isn’t always the answer for me sometimes deep breathing actually sends me into a panic. I also get anxious about thinking I’m dying or that if I was I should be dead by now by all the times I thought that.

[kama24 in reply to Adamj]

I am like you, deep breathing often makes me hyperventilate and panic. The thought of death terrifies me. One day at a time and try to force ourselves to think positive.

[free-4-life]

Hi Kama24, I was diagnosed with extreme anxiety as well and it took control of my life, I seen a psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with ADHD, Bipolar II and Complex PTSD, once i was diagnosed with these conditions and medicated properly and seeing a psychologist, who taught me coping skills which took a while for the therapy to work, i only suffer now from anxiety when i’m overly stressed from triggers or something major in my life that has happened to cause me high anxiety, This is just an opinion, that you may have another condition that’s causing your anxiety, doesn’t hurt to find out, hang in there Kama, your not alone, we support each other and just a text away, you have nothing to be ashamed of, i understand that’s part of the process though which you will get past, remember that you are not Anxiety you have it, it doesn’t own you, best wishes 😘

[Capital50 in reply to free-4-life]

Hi I now how you feel when I wake in the morning it comes over me . I go to work and I have it during the day and by the evening I feel a bit better. I have suffered over the years. It’s a horrible illness to have but it does get better. I am on meds are u?

[kama24 in reply to Capital50]

You should be proud of yourself that you can work. I barely leave the house and I guess I'm lucky I'm retired. Evenings are better for me too. I take Luvox, Remeron and Ativan

[free-4-life in reply to Capital50]

yep, on meds, taken a long time to get the right ones though to balance me out a bit, i find Anxiety can creep up on you sometimes if something has caused that days earlier, or just because it does for know apparent reason just happens, happened to me yesterday but didn’t last long, everything seems louder and feels like the outer world is caving in on me, then i feel depleted with no energy, scary feeling with know control over it.

[kama24 in reply to free-4-life]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I do see a therapist by weekly. My physciatrist is only there to refill prescriptions (that don't help), I no longer have a family dr. as he retired last June and no drs. are taking on new patients. I think far too much about bad endings. This forum does help when you need to talk to someone. I will continue to battle on. Take care

[alphaind]

Hi Kama24,There is nothing to be ashamed of...In fact It is always a good idea to pen (type) down your thoughts so that we can understand our actual feelings and get some helpful suggestions from friends and well wishers.

I am also in the same boat, I daily woke up with fear linked with anxiety. I suffer for almost until 10 AM and then slowly I get normal. But again in the evening for 1-2 hrs I feel the fear. I basically worry that my Heart health is not good and I think bad consequences from that thoughts. During those times, I keep on telling myself that Its anxiety only and I accept and allow anxiety to ride on me for some time. Actually, I was on Escitalopram 10 mg for 2 years (2019-2021) and then weaned off for the last 4 months. Maybe that is the reason I am feeling the Fear...

Anyhow, I believe in HOPE and the Almighty.. Cheers and Take care of yourself

😀

[kama24 in reply to alphaind]

Thank you for responding. My fear starts to ease off about 4pm. I go to bed ok, only to wake with fear the next morning. If we could only talk ourselves normal, or calm. I have been taking Luvox for 7 yrs to no avail. One Ativan does help me at times. I just want to enjoy life and be free of fear. Thanks for listening

[Mis1234]

I have exactly the same and Zoloft does not help. Did any of you found any meditation that makes a difference?

[kama24 in reply to Mis1234]

I took Paxil for 14 yrs and was in a pretty good place. It started to have less effect on me and I started the pill go round which was a nightmare. Withdrawl from Paxil was horrible and I've never been the same. I would not go back and try it again though. One Ativan in the morning often helps. We have to just keep fighting it I guess and supporting ea other.

[Mis1234]

Buzy now so very short but I would love to continue this thread, and try to help each other out. Its been 3 years of this for me, before I never had anxiety and now I have it debilitating that I have a hard time getting through the day, working, being a mother. Mine eases around 7 in the evening, I feel normal later at night and then in starts up right in the morning. Hugs for now

[kama24 in reply to Mis1234]

I am a senior citizen, 74 I commend you for being able to work and carry on as a mom. If you google about cortisol, the morning hormone too much can cause the feeling of fight or flight in the mornings . I'm trying a natural product from the health food store that might? lower it. To add to my fear, we just found out this morning that a woman we were with last night tested positive for Covid this morning. Now we are isolating. I'm beyond scared and over thinking. My husband is so calm. Yes, my fear usually tends to ease off about 5pm.....so weird.

[Mis1234 in reply to kama24]

Yes it is so strange that it lessens in the evening and then are back so strong in the morning. I carry the fear all day which makes me angry and frustrated and not able to enjoy anything. The only thing that does help is a low dose benzo, but doctors will not prescribe..

[kama24 in reply to Mis1234]

That is what boggles my mind, how it can ease off come evening but is back with full force when I wake. Right now it feels like a deep pressure of fear in my whole being. I just want to enjoy each day of my life.

[Mis1234]

Sorry I mail from a Swedish phone that does wierd auto correct. Hope you still understand

[designguy]

The only med that worked directly for my anxiety was Klonopin which is a fast acting benzo so you might try it if you haven't already. Another thing that can cause or contribute to anxiety is if your hormones, thyroid and adrenals are not functioning properly so you might get those checked out.

You say you are well informed about aids for it but just incase, one of the things that most helped me was realizing that everything I had been taught about anxiety was wrong. You can't fight it or control it or out-think it, it's a paradox, the more you do that the more it persists. The solution is to surrender to it, let it pass through you and no longer fear it. Know that the anxious feelings feel real but they aren't real it's just your body's built in warning system malfunctioning. Also, what you are experiencing is probably anticipatory anxiety which is usually worse in the morning. Knowledge of what is really happening gives you the power to heal. I use to get really angry at the anxiety but realized it wasn't my fault and the anxiety is a part of me and it made no sense to get angry at myself and that what I really needed was to be kind and compassionate with myself and treat myself like I would someone else with anxiety. I needed to make friends with that anxious part of me and the anxiety. A really good book that helped me when I was fed up with anxiety is "At last a life and beyond" by Paul David.

[kama24 in reply to designguy]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Yes, I do get angry at myself for being this way & I'd certainly not get angry at someone else who was battling it. I will look into the book you suggested. We no longer have a family doctor so its difficult to have any testing done. I need to accept that I may always be like this and as you say let it pass through me. I will continue to battle on. Take care.

[designguy in reply to kama24]

You're welcome, my best to you.

[Amandasullivan12]

I battle every day with constant fear from the moment I open my eyes so know u are not alone in these feelings x

[kama24 in reply to Amandasullivan12]

What angers me is that we are not able to talk ourself out of it and nothing helps no matter what we try. You name it I've tried it and still no help. It is always worse when I am alone too.

[Amandasullivan12 in reply to kama24]

I know it’s realy annoying to have to feel like this everyday I don’t feel joy in anything anymore

[kama24 in reply to Amandasullivan12]

I understand. I have reached a point where I can't go out alone anymore, because "what if......this or that happened" I just want to laugh and enjoy each new day

[Mis1234]

Same here and I feel like I have tried everything too. I am sending you a warm hug.

[kama24 in reply to Mis1234]

Thank you so much for the comfort. I hope that one morning all of us who battle will wake feeling full of gusto and life. I just want to be free of the feeling that I'm being smothered in fear. At least we know we are not alone. Take care.

[Mis1234 in reply to kama24]

Lets keep checking in and I hope We get rid of this once and for all.

[kama24 in reply to Mis1234]

I'm all for that. I got up at 9am, its 1:15pm now, the fear has eased off a bit and will continue to do so.....but tomorrow morning I'll wake in fear!! It doesn't make sense.

[Blue_81]

Hello Kama, you are describing me. Each morning is the same. I wake up okay but just seconds after im in complete fear. I don't want to get up and tackle the day like go to work, manage my health issue, and any other problems. Everyday is just a task I have to do and can never complete. Usually, by noon I start to feel better but there are days it just goes up to the evening. Sleep is where i feel the best. Everything is shut down, no more thinking. Walking helps me get through the day as it lowers my anxious mood. Sometimes I just wish I could be walking most of the day.

[kama24 in reply to Blue_81]

I think there are a lot of us out there. I am lucky in that I am a senior and retired. I couldn't hold down a job feeling as I do. It's 1:15pm now and I feel some let up of the fear. I have started forcing myself to walk our dog ea day just to get out. I've even had panic attacks during the walks and have to try to talk myself calm just to get home.

[Blue_81 in reply to kama24]

Yes you are lucky that you don't need to go to work. There are some hard days and sometimes I just take a day off. Getting out of bed is the hardest every day. Who would have thought that simple things like that will become hard. I think my brain is fried and doesnt want to think anymore. I went camping the other day and I felt so good, just wanted to have more days and enjoy nature. Sorry to hear that you get panic attacks during your walks. Wishing you well. You can PM me if you need to talk to someone. Take care.

[kama24 in reply to Blue_81]

Good to hear from you. I just returned from walking my dog. I managed to get around the usual route and tried to concentrate on anything but me!! Your camping trip must of been good for you. Fresh air does seem to perk me up at times, especially if it's cool. I've connected to many like us who battle fear in the mornings. What makes me wonder is why has no physciatrist or MD has been able to figure out what causes this.......just our thoughts and minds? Why can't we over come the fear and anxiety , tell it to STOP? Is this what we have to look forward to for the rest of our lives? My therapist says to look in the mirror and yell STOP Ok, I did, and I'm still in the same mess. I am so happy for the time (mostly evenings) when I don't feel the fear. If only it could be like that all the time. I've tried almost every suggestion to help myself. Sometimes when it's really bad I feel like I am going to die. That ups the fear. I battle on each day and hope one day will find me "normal". Take care

[Blue_81 in reply to kama24]

Im in the same boat. Tried what my therapist says, she says to do grounding exercises. It helps but it’s not like a permanent fix. Not sure why is this ailment so common now a days. Looks to me that there maybe no actual solution but just managing our symptoms. Medication helps but its the same thing, its not curing us. Sometimes I feel that same way that my days here will be cut short. I get extremely sad just feeling that way. BTW i like your posts. Thanks for replying.

[kama24 in reply to Blue_81]

And so goes another day. Again it seems so crazy that when the evening arrives I have no fear or nausea. I go to bed "normal". I even woke up at 2am and I felt fine. I get up at 9am and there IT is!! ..... maybe this is the new "normal" and we will have to battle through it daily. One thing though is that we should not give up. A friend of mine has similar issues and feels that Progressive Muscle Relaxation helps her to some extent I wish that I could just enjoy each day as it comes and stop the fearful thoughts. Hang in there!!

[Blue_81 in reply to kama24]

You are describing me. Last night felt good, stomach pain was low with some rumbling but nothing too bad. I was good and relax watching tv. I went to sleep and like you woke up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep right away. Few hours later my alarm goes off and My fear instantly comes over me. I just dont want to start my day, its horrible. It takes alot of energy to get through the day. My mind just looks forward to the evening when I will go back to rest and sleep. Everyday is a challenge 😕. Hoping everything will get better one day.

[kama24 in reply to Blue_81]

Sometimes I feel all we can do is hope and keep trying to overcome the fear. It keeps me from doing many things I would normally enjoy. If I could over come feeling something terrible is going to happen, half my battle would be won. Try to keep active with something so your mind will have to be used elsewhere. It's 2pm here and I'm going to try to go for a short walk. I certainly wish I had some suggestion that could help us. So much time wasted in fear. Tomorrow is another day!!

[Kathush]

I have the same exact feelings Kama. The mornings are downright scary to me but once evening comes upon I feel somewhat myself.

[kama24 in reply to Kathush]

Thank you for sharing. I have heard from several that they too go through this. At least it makes me feel a bit better that I am not alone. We just need to battle each new day at a time. Take care.