I am actually starting to feel immune to everything:-(

Just seem to have no feelings towards anything at mo. A friend who i work with who will walk over anybody to get where she wants has gone away to Oz for 3 weeks. Feel like whats the point of trying to be nice as it gets you nowhere, and the ones that dont care seem to get everywhere.

Look how much i have been there for my OH. Where has it got me. Nowhere! New Year on my own and feeling like crap.

I even couldnt be bothered going out last night. Rather be on the sofa with the duvet. Finding it really difficult to boost myself at the mo.

7 Replies

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  • Hi Lou, I often feel the same way too - why be nice, no one appreciates it or reciprocates. As they say - no good deed goes unpunished.

  • Awful isnt it to actually feel that to get somewhere you got to be horrible. I do look around and see the ones who are like that always seem to have the world at their feet.

    I do good to everyone and it is expected but never get anything back. Just feel like shit and fed up being treat like a door mat. x

  • Don't do it, lou. Don't become one of 'them out there'. If you lose your feeling of love and empathy for others you lose your humanity and you will regret it for the rest of your life. Bitterness I have experienced. In fact I became Mr. Bitterness himself, but it availed me nothing and made me more miserable. We must go on Loving if it kills us because it is what we need and what the world needs. So, jonathan. take a running jump!! I wont blame you if you say that. I would have said it but now I say what I believe to be true. Those who behave selfishly have their reward. Not always as we think. But our reward is different. By giving love we come to peace with ourselves; no guilt; no recriminations or doubt, and more importantly, receive Love in return. Blessings. j.

  • Jonathan i would never knock what you say. You are one of the people that even though i dont know you personally, on here i have the most upmost respect for you.

    Your words are true, but at the mo i just think how can you feel so alone by not doing anything wrong. Even my friends dont bother, as they have everything in place so they dont care how i am or dont get in touch until a dilemma starts again. My OH tells me he feels guilty as he cant do anything to help. Last year though he was there for a friend in Scotland who lost a friend. Not feeling the love, just selfish people who are so absorbed in themselves. xx

  • Hi Lou, you sound down....and I'm not surprised! You are allowed a rant and a down time as well, although I hope you are not picking up anxiety and stress from reading all of the problems you see on here. I have worried about you doing this for a while. I find it hard myself at times and you must be an angel to help as you do. I realise the reason you came on here and it was because you wanted help with your other half's anxiety. Now we have all come to know and love you!! :). I agree with Jon that being nice does leave you with no recriminations at the end of the day, but don't be walked over. The world is full of selfish gits. I know quite a few of them!..Friends are precious so don't write them off just yet. It may seem as if they have everything in place but I don't know anyone who does?. As for your OH why can't he do anything to help Lou? I have the same anxiety but can help anyone if I want to. Don't let him take the piss Lou, he has anxiety not a life threatening disease. I think you should lay the cards on the table with him. Lots of Love and Hugs x Ella x

  • Hi Lou, you feeling better today?

    I think its a fact of life that everyone gets self absorbed in their own problems, to the point they're blind to the needs of others around them. I can totally relate to the bit about friends (or should I say "friends") not bothering until a dilemma hits them. Its just one of those things I could never understand - whenever a "friend" needs a shoulder, we're there for them, listening and sparing time to help them sort it out, but whenever we need it, they take off. Its not like we help others with the expectation of being helped in return, but whatever happened to reciprocity?? Don't people feel bad to just keep taking but giving nothing in return? Bleh.

    If humans by nature have an innate tendency to be self absorbed, I think anxiety exacerbates it. This may explain why your OH is the way he is. This person once wrote:

    "Anxious thoughts are radically personal thoughts. Their central concern is what affects you, what threatens you, what you need, you regret, you dread, you fear. Anxiety is a condition of near-total self-absorption, made only worse by the fact that the sufferer typically realizes that he is being self-absorbed and grieves over his sad inability to see past himself."

    Your OH may feel that way, but isn't able to do (or maybe doesn't want to do) anything about it. I don't know what your OH is like in the best of times, when he isn't afflicted by anxiety, and I'm not trying to make any excuses for him. But perhaps if you thought of it that way, it might take the sting out of the fact that he is unable to be emotionally supportive towards you. That way, you don't feel so much hurt at his actions.

    If you're interested, the article in which this person made the observation above may be found at the link below: edition.cnn.com/2012/08/23/...

  • Hi guys,

    Ella its not here that has made me feel like this. You know you have all helped me, and have become good friends. Spending New Year on my own with my little lad, and the death of a work colleague has just tipped me a little. Sat on your own New Year when you know you have done nothing wrong, and your OH has his mum with him, not giving a dam just makes you feel worthless. Yep he has taking me for granted. Like you say and i have thought it myself, you are all in the same position but you come on here and will give words of advice to everyone. Bitter sweet really. I have sent him a txt saying i need to be on my own, as he is making me feel like crap. Not replied and i dont expect him to. Self absorbed and just shows how much i mean. Like i have said he has no backbone. Life is too short and i have done all i can do. I cant be bothered laying cards on the table. Done it too many times.

    Maya_Dawn how are you getting on. Everything sorted or you still got your worries. I have been to work and put the brave face and smile on, Just feel so tired at mo. Cant wait to get home away from everyone. Let me know how you are. I will take on board what you say bout OH but at the mo i cant take much in, My OH was a miserable anti-social git before all this:-) and thats the truth. Thanks for the link will have a look.

    Love Lou. xxxxxxx

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