Hate Feeling This Way

I never experienced my first "panic attack" until I was about 5 or 6 months pregnant with my baby; whom is now a beautiful growing 16 month old bundle of joy! Anyways.. They gradually got worse after I had her, and eventually I was feeling weird and just totally not myself ALL day, EVERY day starting when she was only 2 months old. I refused to believe anyone when they brought up the word "anxiety" or the words "panic attack." I had NEVER felt that way my whole life, and it was absolutely terrifying. After 6 months of literally driving myself crazy I finally went to a psychiatrist. Which might I add, took a VERY long time to do, and patience was something I could just not think of at the time. I got put on medication, and it seriously changed everything. It was like I was slowly, but surely coming back to my old self; whom I DEARLY missed. Just a few days ago however, I've started to feel the despair again. I've already been to the ER multiple times, and I am so afraid of going through this again..


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13 Replies

  • Hi hun :(

    It is a great fear everyone has when we start feeling better.

    even when you are on meds you are bound to have some hiccups along the way. Far inbetween but still possible, what you need to do is get to the bottom of what is casing you all this anxiety can you see a therapist?

  • I have seen one before, and honestly it didn't seem to help me much. I'm very outspoken and can talk to anyone about my problems, my main thing is honestly that I just can't believe I only have anxiety. I truly believe in my head that it's something bigger and deeper, yet if so by now I know deep down I would've had something happen.. Mine is mostly health related, if I am sick in any kind of way I think I'm really dying. And it's a terrible, scary feeling. Both sides of my family have mental illnesses on them though, so.. You could say it's genetic. Or my child hood, or even the birth of my daughter. I've been told it could be a combination of all the above listed.

  • Mmm I see

    The health anxiety ( hypochondria) well not allow you to get a peace of mind even after you've been cleared.

    We have to learn to accept that we are fine.

    One side of my family we are anxiety sufferers and it does suck but we learn to accept it as is and be thankful it's nothing more sinister. Even if its other forms of psychological problems know that in today's world of medicine a lot of people are now able to go on a live a normal life.

    I get what you mean about it not working but try sticking to it and hopefully sooner of later it well start helping you.


  • Thank you so much! It's just so hard for me to really believe my "head" can honestly make me believe all these things I think sometimes, all about my health! I seriously just want to go get a full body examination so that I can feel better about knowing "for sure," yet I still highly doubt that would work out, lol. I was doing so good, I just don't get why it randomly came back..

  • :)

    I know what you mean hun been there and still have my moments ( my last two posts)

    Its hard I know but what people have been telling me and majority of the time it helps is distracting our thoughts from thinking it's something bad we are going through. Or think of the times you are having a good time and how you are able to forget whatever symptoms you were feeling, which helps you confirm that it's all in your head :)

    Lol. I had the exact same thought the other day just to get a full body scan and I'll be done going the the ER or doctors office for good :)

    Yup that's my thought exactly "why now that I was doing so well" but I have noticed it gets bumpy like that a week before or after my period. (Tmi sorry but just a thought)

  • That is perfectly fine! Lol. There is never "too" much information. And yeah.. I do honestly want to go do that sometimes, but then again, just asking for that; the answer will be, you're having a panic attack, or something along the lines of anxiety.

  • I agree with alwaysafraidyaz

    You need to get to the bottom of the cause of this fear. It can be terrifying all right.

  • I've tried figuring it out, and I've talked to multiple people about it; but at the end of the day I'm stuck thinking I'm just dying from some disease or terminal illness. It just came back like this literally 3 days ago, I was fine.. And then BAM, I've been thinking I was dying for 3 days.

  • Have you spoken to anyone about it?

  • Yes. I mean I actually went to the hospital earlier, and of course he said everything checked out fine. But I don't feel fine.. And he didn't even do anything but vitals and a urine sample. I go see my psychiatrist soon though.

  • That is good. The psychiatrist will likely ask questions designed to get to the bottom of it.

    I once met a lady who did something and 7 years later began to get panic attacks. She didn't make the link at all first but did so later and had to go through an entire healing process to get to where she wanted to get.

  • Yeah.. I see him every 3 months. And I'm actually supposed to be on an antidepressant plus my anxiety meds, but I don't take the antidepressants because in the past I've been on 2 other different kinds and they just made me freak out even more.

  • Hi there,

    I am a social worker and I strongly suggest you immediately go back to the therapist or doctor who put you on medication. Forget the ER. There has to be a reason you are having these panic attacks - and it would be much easier for you to find out what is causing them in a therapists office.

    Good Luck and all the best :))

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