so low again

Sorry to be a burden again with my moaning, but im feeling really down again. Ive found out that my boss replaced me a couple of days after i had to leave work with my anxiety. I was only working there for 2 months but i loved the job, and after 25 of not working and bringing my kids up, this job meant the world to me because i was back with horses which i love and it got me out of the house and i felt needed. Im so depressed seeing pictures of a girl on facebook doing my job and riding a horse i used to look after, posted by my ex boss. I feel unwanted, not needed and a complete failure, not one of them have even asked how i am either. Im isolated and ive not been out in weeks, since leaving my job to be honest. I really cannot be bothered doing anything at all, im not looking forward to anything and im just not in the christmas mood. My xmas tree is still in its box waiting to be put up, but i just cant be bothered. I feel im going to ruin Christmas for my family and i just dont want to be here anymore.

[ellabella]

Oh Linny hun, please don't punish yourself by looking at the pics just hide them and when you feel little stronger have a look. As for Christmas...I think we re all in the same boat there. It is normal to dread such hard flipping work! and in reality that's what it seems to be. My Christmas tree got slung out last year in disgust probably .....but I forgot...and went to get it to put it up yesterday ?????? LOL ! I ended up having to buy another! and just hope it gets here in time. You are wanted here, needed here and are absolutely NOT a failure love. They are just feelings, try and lighten your mood a bit. Put that tree up and see how pretty it is and come back and tell me. x Ella x

[Hidden]

I agree with ellabella dont torment yourself looking at those pictures....i used to be a staff nurse but ended up leaving because of reoccuring depression and anxiety and for years i used to look at my pictures of me graduating and in my nurses uniform and at pictures/statuses of those i trained with working themselves up the nursing ladder and felt so ashamed of myself for leaving instead of staying an getting help....but sometimes whatever way it happens whether we choose to leave or we are asked to leave by our employers, sometimes for some people leaving work is nessessary to help us focus on recovery. xx

Stick that xmas tree up and remember your doing whats right for you at the moment and at the end of this awful period you could look at returning to the job ;0)

I once cried all the way through decorating my xmas tree one year but i put the sod up anyway...im mean sure it wasnt the best decorted tree ;0) but whatever it went up and for a tiny part of that day i had a little smile xx

Thinking of you xx

[ellabella]

Good on you Caz xxxxxx

[Hidden in reply to ellabella]

Cheers ellabella ;0)

[Annadove]

linny13. You may have gathered that I've just joined, so perhaps a bit presumptious of me to join in debates so quickly. However, I do now how you must feel, especially just before Christmas, which makes everything that much more poignant. Do you really want to work for ppl that are so uncaring?

Concentrate on getting better and then look for another job. Putting 'a face on' can, in itself be wearing, but try not to allow this to spoil Christmas for you and your family. My tree isn't up yet, and the effort of doing so seems outside my capability. I think I will make the effort, just to banish my negative mood. I think it might do the same for you. If not, so what!!

[Hidden in reply to Annadove]

I dont think you are being presumptious at all, if you got something to say that may help go for it...welcome by the way :0)

[fadedlizard]

Hi Linny,

I'm so sorry you're feeling sad today.

I know it's not particularly helpful advice but can you bring yourself to unfriend your ex-boss then you won't be able to torture yourself looking at pics that distress you so? I know it's hard and I do sympathize with your loss. 2months may seem like a short time but it was important to you and you need to allow yourself to grieve for it. It will get better though.

Be kind to yourself.x

[Hidden]

Hi Linny

I understand where u coming from...when u gave all ire life to your job and been so passionate about it must be hard to face what s happening..but try to let go..u might not be wanted there but here u re not a failure we can understand..love from train