Feeling low :(

[Lan121]

Hi guys,

Still not feeling any better unfortunately, I quit my job today too due to advice from friends family and my doctor. I think I regret it already though. Now I have know idea what to do because I know I will be 10 x more anxious now about getting a new job in case the same thing happens again. Although it was the best decision as it was unfair on the company I was working for, me and my family having to worry everyday, I still can't help thinking I've let my anxiety win My manager was very supportive and lovely about it, said I could contact her when I'm better but who knows how long that will take or whether there will even be a position available.

I guess it will be good for me to be able to take a couple of weeks off to try and get a bit better before finding another job. But then brings the question, what am I going to do? I feel like any job will make me anxious now, any suggestions? Also theres the question of will I even be able to find another job, as unemployment is so high these days.

Things have also got a million times worse with my mum today, she was being very moody and aggressive as per, and I asked her what was wrong, and she turned round and blamed me for everything, saying it's my fault I'm unwell and what not. My boyfriends mum is so much more supportive than mine its ridiculous, she's even offered to come to the doctors with me tomorrow. So me and my mum had a huge argument, that ended in tears for me. I just don't understand how she can blame me and think its my fault, I just thought it was a really horrible thing to say. What's worse is that she is so supportive of my brothers sever ADHD, going to the doctors with him, sorting everything out etc, and not once does she punish him for anything he does. He's not clever, he's awfully behaved at school, he's rude to her, worse to my dad and me, but nothing is ever done about it. I genuinely think that's why he's the way he is, because he knows he will get away with it. Don't get me wrong I do believe there are some aspects of ADHD but I feel the majority of his behaviour is just because he knows he can, like he's playing up to the label. We're not speaking though, haven't spoken since anyway, I don't want to speak to her, as immature as that sounds but it really did upset me what she said, how spiteful about it she was too. It's like shes taking all of her problems with my dad and brother and herself, and making it all my fault. I know she doesn't like the idea of me not having a job but I honestly couldn't cope with the severe anxiety I was going through every day doing my other job. Also I didn't give myself a summer break after my A-levels, so I think I deserve a few weeks at least, just to think about what I want and need to do.

Feeling really low about all of this, especially of how unsupportive my mother is :/ I genuinely think she dislikes me, that may sound silly and again immature, but what kind of mother says that to their daughter? I know she has a lot of problems but everything always seems to be my fault, from my brother swearing to her being in a bad mood, always me. Ugh. And my dads doing a job up north so I haven't had him to speak to this evening My boyfriend and his mother are so lovely and supportive of everything though, bless them. I just don't know what im going to do, what job, what career path I can fulfil without my anxiety getting the better of me, I just feel stuck.

Any advice with careers or my mother would be much appreciate guys, and thank you for taking the time to read my little rant as well haha. Hope you're all doing well

Lanah x

[newoba]

Hi Lanah,

I can relate to you about both issues. I left my job because of anxiety, but after resigning, I felt terribly anxious about being unemployed. I have done my best to focus on myself. I enrolled in classes to pursue my passion (automobiles). I am hoping loving my career will ease the impact of my anxiety. I suggest taking some time to determine the best career for you and your anxiety (i.e. career field, flexibility, schedule). You did not let your anxiety win! You took a step towards wellness, and I commend you. My mom also does not understand my anxiety. It hurts and frustrates me, but she just cannot relate to what I am feeling. Do your best to explain your anxiety and other feelings to her. If she still does not understand, lean on those who do support you. You have some wonderful people in your life!

[Lan121 in reply to newoba]

Hi newoba,

Thank you for your reply, it's nice someone can relate about the whole job thing its so sad, because the thing is I did love being a student veterinary nurse, the environment and the long drive just made me anxiety go up the wall :/ Glad to hear you love your career though I can't think of anything that is flexible and has low anxiety levels unless I was self-employed, but I don't have an idea, or anywhere to even start! I guess so though, I'm hoping it will allow me to get better with time, thank you for the support

I completely agree, the thing is, my mum doesn't feel bad for what she said to me, no apology and she hasn't said a word to me, and she doesn't want to talk to me either, so I can't even explain as when I've tried, she just gets angry, its so upsetting I know exactly how you feel.

Thank you for your support though, its much appreciated

Lanah x

[rosesRred34]

Hi Lan

Don't feel bad about quitting, remember you aren't a quitter until u stop trying. I am sorry about your mum too, I think mothers and daughters are always more prone to argue and your mother suufers from deptession too right? She may not have meant to be so harsh towards you but she also may be more frustrated with herself for not knowing how to help you.

I think u should take some time and really decide what type of employment is right for you. Maybe get a part time job that is a lil closer to home and ease your way back in. I also really think you would benefit from The Healing Vode book.. I am on day 3 AND ITS WORKING I didn't want to make a formal post yet, but OMG its a miracle, I have done things that I wasn't doing for ywars because of anxiety and I feel hopeful and excited for the future. If u have a chance seriously check it out

[Lan121 in reply to rosesRred34]

Hi roses

Thank you for another reply I know I just really enjoyed my job its such a shame, I feel bad on me colleagues to because I didn't even get to say goodbye :/

Yeah she does unfortunately, I know she has a lot on her plate with my brother and dad too but I don't think it gives her a right to blame me for everything and the way she is She just acts like she doesn't care at all, and if she does it just comes out as anger. I completely agree she must be frustrated with not being able to do anything, she thinks its my fault the anxiety is happening though, for some reason not quite sure how that would work though!

Thank you very much, that's a good idea. I've been having a think but I seem to be able to come up with some reason I wouldn't want to do every single job I think of, because of the anxiety. Only thing I can think of is self-employed, but I need an idea, money and ive seen my dad do it, and its a lot of work!

I definitely need to read the healing code! I'm going to look into it right now, I hope it works for me too and I'm really glad its working for you

Good luck and best wishes,

Lanah x

[Ash_P]

Hi all