Well Im still here...... Dont think Im quite as bad as I was a couple of weeks ago..... still have pangs of missing him/ or is it just that I was used to doing something and now I have to fill that space??!!
Starting to see more of my friends now and trying to fil the gaps..... I was happy before and can be again right!! Its just a state of mind!!
I dont think Im even as anxious as I was before, still have my times but at least I feel like Im taking some control back, but it doesnt happen over night... Dowhh!!
Still feel like Ive lost a friend though and thats not good!!
Back to work next week and I cant wait to be occupied, I only work 2 days per week and have to make a decision on my long term plans for work, but giving myself a month off before I decide..(I gave up my job last year to move up to the ex's)
So.... anyway the weekend is here and I have that sickness in the pit of my stomach.... thinking oh he'll be doing... such n such.... I want to stop thinking about what he is doing!!
For gods sake I was the one that finished it so why am I so bothered... I know its the right thing but still cant get my head around a man of 49 letting his mother interfere in his life and ruin his relationships......
Note to self..... No Mummys Boys in the future........
HI kerry, my mum had a very similer life with my dad......but she married him and had three children. he was a total mummys boy and his mother was always part of there marriage while she was alive. i know it sounds awful but she said there marriage was better after she died to an extent. so maybe you have done yourself a huge favour cos my mum had to suffer it a looooooooong time waiting to be free of her. she used to do everything from open there post to say where they should live.......do you really want the rest of your life to be like that????? time will heal you and you will meet someone else and wounder what you ever saw in him in the first place. if you dont go out this weekend then stay in with a bottle of wine, some nail varnish, and eye mask and a good film......nothing romantic!!!! maybe a friend will join you if not just pamper yourself. also i want you to put a rubber band around your wrist, every time you think of the mummies boy i want you to ping it really hard on your wrist.......eventually you will associate him with anoying pain x
Hi Sam
Thanks for your message... Youre perfectly right.... and No I dont want that life for myself , thats why I finished it... I am getting better , its still early days.......
Not going out this weekend, well not drinking anyway, went out last weekend n had to come home early in tears.....
I think the rubber band is a great idea, Im going to do that!!
Thanks again, I hope youre ok and have a nice weekend??!!
Kerry xx
Also think the rubber band is a great idea made me laugh
Let us no if it works anne
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• in reply to
Will do.....
Hope youre well whywhy
Ker xxxx
• in reply to
Not to bad , we are missing Cookie now though
Hope that elastic band is at the ready & ping ouch
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• in reply to
where has she gone??
lol............ its a great idea isnt it..... I might find one to put round my forehead.....lol
hi Kerry, it must be really hard, I know I've been badly affected by break ups in the past but its still early days and you are doing so well. At least you realised sooner rather than later, otherwise you may have been due for a life like Sam's mum and although you miss him I bet you would have come to lose respect for him sometime also if he couldn't free himself of the apron strings. And I wouldn't worry about what he's doing this weekend, probably tea at his mums and an evening watching telly with her .
I have lost all respect since we split up anyway, as he doesnt believe anything that ive said (I forwarded the abusive message so it was in black n white) but unfortunately he chooses to make excuses for her.... Im not playing second best to a toxic mother in law!!
And actually youre pretty much spot on... yeah it would have been tea tonight with her, breakfast and afternoon coffee saturday and then breakfast n tea on Sunday... Yeah Im not missing anything!"!"
My problem is me...... rose coating everthing and forgetting what it was really like,,,, and I always assassinate myself when I split up from someone blaming myself,,, but I'll be ok in a month or two!!
Thanks for taking the time to spur me on though.... I apprectiate it/....
We always blame ourselves don't we, could we have done this or that better, maybe we should have been more tolerant .. And on and on. But their relationship sounds quite dysfunctional and she sounds very manipulative and if he keeps making excuses for her I suppose she'll just keep on doing it. keep telling yourself you did the right thing, you were strong and could see that it wasn't right for you. His loss, he had a chance at happiness with you. keep strong and I hope you manage to enjoy the weekend.
Yup even his friends have told me shes done it before and that he'll never have a woman while his mum is around.....
How sad...... And she thinks she has His best interests at heart..... more like Hers,,,,, hes her surrogate husband..... theyre welcome to each other...... I couldnt live like that anymore,,,, Im 48 and having some woman trying to tell me what to do.... I dont think so...... Im daft to a point.....
When I was eighteen I was told I was 'thick' because didn't have a 'University Education'. This from a man who had no no input or investment into my life.
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x
Religion is a problem for me..
I dont no what to do anymore 
why wont my anxiety stop :(
