Why why why.

[Canon]

Hi it's night again no sleep last night,will it be the same tonight ? I'm so tired be just can't relax. I find my self doing things that people wouldn't unstand, I feel so anxious I hate the way I am so of coz other people are going to hate me, all iv ever wanted is to be normal .

Wot have i done for all this punishment? All u guys say its not u not your fault but with all the greatest respect in the world u don't know me be it is my fault ! And I just totally deserve all the punishment. I'm fed up now and just want it to stop...

[Hidden]

Your right Canon we dont know you as a person we only know what you write. But can i just say if you have anxiety that is definatley not your fault, i used to blame myself and look for reasons why i became so anxious, hell i even invented a few to try and make sense of it but as it turns out i had a condition which i needed help with, i did nothing wrong and sure as heck didnt deserve it......no one deserves to experience anxiety problems you dont deserve it.

[Canon]

Thanks but I think people this end know I deserve it , coz I had 2 good friends and both hate me and don't talk to me really and that makes me even more sad, the more I try to talk to them the more they seem to hate me jet I can't be like them and just forget It plays on my mind more and more..

[thunderacer]

HI canon,

Did you do something to these friends that was so bad, or do they not talk to you because they don't know how to help you and don't understand?

People are afraid of what they don't understand and avoid having to deal with it!

When you have an illness you soon find out who your real friends are!

Good luck, and be kind to yourself, things WILL get BETTER!

Steve

[Canon]

Hi Steve this is it I don't know if I did any thing bad I'm guessing I did coz its gone from having a lot of support from them to nothing it's like they can't stand the site of me??? It seems like it would be better if I wasn't here .

[thunderacer]

Hi canon

Better for who? It seems like you are worrying over nothing, it may just be that they can't understand and don't know what to do. How can we expect others to understand "IT" when we don't ourselves? I retreat, do not speak to friends until it is over and am lucky that my friends accept this and don't call me or come around, but are there if I need them! I have lost a few friends because of it but hey!!! they couldn't have been as good a friends as I thought and am better off without them!

You seem very low and looking for answers to questions you cannot answer or if you do answer it it just starts again the next time you try to sleep!!

Steve.

[ellabella]

Hi Canon, I too am like Steve. I don't understand it? I have tried to explain to family and friends but I know they don't "get it". Neither would I want them to! I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I tend to go through my life and look for reasons why I deserve it as well. None of us deserve it. It's an illness.... we haven't asked for it and it is not a punishment for something we feel guilty about either. You are in a safe place here, we all suffer with anxiety/depression and we all need to blog too. It's a brilliant place to be. Keep blogging hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Canon]

Thanks for every one here its a great comfort for people to understand something's that I say ....