I guys. Can you tell me is it the norm for my partner to sleep a lot. He isnt on any medication now. as the doctor says all the things he is anxious about are coming to a head. Slowly working themselves out. He is coming home from work, having tea and then thats him, he just crashes to the next morning. From having restless nights to now having a good night sleep is this usual. He still is exhausted the next day. He has been like this for a good few days. Is his body catching up with him with all thats been going on over the last few months? is this the norm?
I have to admit that my anxiety levels do often make me tired, and frequently this means I'm terrible in the mornings at getting up, sleep longer, and sometimes want to go to bed a lot earlier than my partner who doesn't suffer from anxiety.
There are some key times when this can really come to the fore and I certainly noticed a big difference when I transitioned between being on SSRI's to no longer taking them.
I certainly wouldn't think a few days or even weeks of this behaviour is in any way damaging, espeicially with the winter drawing in and our body clocks all screaming at us... 'BUT! It's dark outside!' both when we get home AND when we get up in the mornings.
Perhaps you could monitor it for a week or so and talk to your own GP if you feel there's any reason to be concerned after a time?
Let us know how it goes and I hope this helps put your mind at rest a little.
Ha ha thanks Hollow. i do wonder if its catching up on him. My "partner" seems a bit brighter tbh. He isnt the happiest person at the best of times, but there is a slight improvement the last week or so. Couple of chuckles from him. We dont live together, and i dont see him unless going to docs or i take some home cooked food up. He prefers his own company at the mo, tho he has mentioned about coming over a few times now. Its just the tiredness thats at the forefront at the moment.
Team DB you do have a good point about the dark nights, I know myself i just want to go home and sleep. Thanks for youre input. Its helpful and does help. Its very helpful to know how others react to their anxiety. I know not everybody is the same, but different experiences do help, x
There are times I could just curl up on the floor whether I'm out walking through the city centre, on a bus, train or even in work as I become so tired/fatigued, in fact work agreed for me to go and have twenty mins on the sofa in the staff room if needed. I try to ride through my anxiety and I've only ever made use of the sofa once as it happens but it's nice to know I can if it all becomes too much.
It sounds like your partner may be on the way up but I would advise keeping an eye on the sleep as it can easily take over, it becomes all too easy to sleep your anxiety away, not face it in other terms, letting others manage your life, allowing them to do things that you don't want or feel unable to because of anxiety. It's a blessing to have someone who cares and encourages but it can also (in my view) delay the recovery.
I try not to get in his face. I don't text him unless he gets in touch with me first. I leave him to get on with it.....................though its hard. He knows i am there for him whenever. The other information you read tells you that you should be around them even if thats not what they want. To me and from what i get from here i won't do that. It can make it worse. His mum has her own problems (early stages of alzheimers) and doesn't grasp how he feels. Not her fault but says things that upsets him. is there anything else you would suggest. The last thing i want to do is delay his recovery.
I have found for myself that encouraging activities before bed that are are both relaxing and also close to bed in a sense can help delay the need to sleep and maintain more 'average' daily rhythms. Watching a little TV in bed, reading, taking a soak in the bath, surfing the net for a little while (perhaps you could chat online some evenings?) can all help to get an extra hour or so out of the day when I'm feeling like just hitting the hay.
It's hard to encourage others to do these kind of things but if you're both able to talk about it you might find your partner actually would enjoy an extra hour or so of wakefulness especially with a distracting or relaxing pass time.
I'd be interested to hear if this works for other people too so keep us up to date if you decide to try out any of the ideas.
Sorry lou without sounding like I'm backtracking having support/encouragement is half the battle won and like you my friends are there when I want them. There are times when my mind/body screams 'ask for a lift...' 'don't do this or that alone...' 'ask them to go the shop so you don't have to face the panic of being in one...' This is what anxiety can do to you and I know that if I allowed those thoughts to persist I'd still be lying in my bed, by no means do I mean abandon your support (I'm sure you wouldn't as coming on here shows your understanding) my point was simply that if I allowed my friends to do most things for me then my anxiety/fear would happily live and thrive of that. All that said it sounds like you are doing the right thing, my friends never push me but encourage anything I'd say I'd like to do such as walking to the cornershop, sad but true I could go to work on a train, then catch a bus but be scared as hell to go the cornershop for milk. I choose to sit most nights alone and there is nothing wrong with that like I say it's my choice but if that was anxiety choosing that for me that's a different matter.
That's a very good point Hollow, sometimes it can be a challenge to identify which choices are driven in part by anxiety and which are just a genuine desire to not do, or do something in particular.
The key is finding that confidence that what you're doing isn't driven by the irrational feelings but by a genuine need or desire to do what it is you're doing.
Just another wonderful facet of our old friend anxiety.....
i do think my partner is that exhausted at the mo he needs his own space. At the weekend he will go for a drive, do what he has to do. He visited his mum last weekend and it stressed him out. She has a lot of her own things going on. Its a balancing act to get them to understand each what each of them are going through at the mo. He does read when he gets home, but falls asleep. He doesn't have internet, laptop. Lives in the countryside and doesn't have broadband. He has said he doesn't like me seeing him like this. So at the mo he is the voice on the other end of the phone. Thats fine if it helps him then so be it. I cant do much more and force him into a corner. I get what you mean Hollow about the statement it can make it worse. At first i didnt understand a single thing how he was feeling, i still dont but i as time goes on get a little understanding, I know how to react better to things with him. I used to get annoyed but i now i dont........................sorry prattling. should go to bed:-). Thanks to you both. x
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