When it first happened I was really stressed, upset and a bit angry. Walking down the street at the end of a long working day I lost it, my legs went numb and suddenly my whole body was gone. Muscle pains in my chest and arms, breathing heavily, I thought this was it, I was going to die. It lasted three days and at first I thought it might be food poisoning, anemia and/or low blood pressure. I only felt better when I had something with sugar in it, e.g. a chocolate bar or fizzy drink. It went away...
Exactly 30 days later it came back, I was working long hours and feeling very tired and stressed out. Once again, while walking down the street I felt dizzy and exhausted but only when I went outside, if I was in the house I was ok. So I thought that maybe I had some phobia with the outdoors or I just needed a rest and surely enough it would slowly go away. In the end it went away.
Then two weeks later it came back full force, after some disappointing news and more stress I had the worst attacks this time at home. It started on a Thursday, my heart was pounding, my head hurt and my chest muscles were aching. I called the NHS emergency number and they said it could be anemia. I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday thinking I was going to die, I couldn't sleep at all, my head kept spinning and my muscles hurt so bad, But when I called the emergency number and spoke to a nurse or to a doctor I immediately felt better.
Finally I went to the doctor, did some blood tests and other kinds of tests and the doctor told me everything was absolutely fine with me and that probably all of this was in fact anxiety. It all made sense to me, I connected every attack with what was happening at the time and it all came together. Still I was very worried because I always felt that I could control my body, my emotions and nothing could bring me down, suddenly I faced the fact that none of that was true. Stress, depression and exhaustion had taken over me completely and I had to fight back to live a normal life again.
I still have the attacks and I need to remind myself that it is only anxiety, it's not easy, there are moments when I feel that I am losing control, dizziness, heavy headed, numb body, it's such a horrible and boring feeling. It will take time to overcome all of it, and I know I must try as much as I can to relax. The truth is that is has only been 3 months, full recovery might take a bit longer. There is hope though.