self indulgent praise

In a few comments on the site I have mentioned one of my biggest goals in tackling my anxiety is going to a restaurant, ordering a meal and not rush the experience wanting to get out as quick as possible before 'something happens'. Well last night I went a big step towards that and went to a local restaurant with my best friend. After half an hour of debating whether a takeaway would be easier I decided to go for it, of course I lay down the rules of engagement first, namely that if I want to bail midway I will do.

It's only a short walk to the local Indian I mention it being Indian as this is also significant as before my anxiety I was a chilli head and could eat chilli that would burn the soles of your shoes. Anyway back to the short walk that seemed to be miles, my chest started to tighten, my breathing became rapid, I was shivering cold, even tho last night was quite warm, the stairs up to the place felt like a climb with lead in my boots. The restaurant was fairly packed and we had to wait for a bit, could hear my head scream 'you're being foolish, get out before something happens' but I didn't, I stuck with it. Eventually we had a table, I didn't have any alcohol as I was still on edge when they came for the order and I also ordered the mildest curry as I know the effects of chilli all too well :) I did it though, I relaxed, my chest relaxed, my speech wasn't pressured, I didn't want to run, we took our time paying the bill, if anything they (the staff) were pushing us to leave and 'nothing happened' other than I had an enjoyable, relaxed meal out. Not a completely anxious free evening but not far off from it.

It can be done!!

Thank you if you have taken the time to read my bit of self congratulatory indulgence. Hope you are having a good day.

17 Replies

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  • HI HOLLOW glad you made the effort and it payed off i hope you have many more evenings out with time it will all become no effort at all x

  • Hi Milo. Thank you. Hoping you are well...

  • Clap Clap Clap, well done you and more power to your elbow! brilliant!

  • Thank you anxman. If I can build myself up through the menu to a vindaloo then I know I've cracked it :)

  • so happy for you hun :) ahhh great, you should be very proud and i guess everyone here agrees :) :)

  • Thank you rouri. I'm doing my best to keep away the thoughts of it being a short lived victory.

  • Many congrats hun for staying with it. See how strong you are????? I admire the enormous strength you have you have used!!!! xxx

  • Thank you for your kind words.

  • brilliant xxxx

  • Thank you lotty

  • hi hollow well done , you have inspired me i can relate to you, i hope i can do the same joycestokes thankyou for sharing x

  • Thank you Joyce, please let me know if you do. Good luck and well wishes.

  • HI, well done. i have done this myself and felt really good at the end of it, havent done it for a few weeks now due to a few knock backs but am going to give it another go cos i ended up enjoying myself. buy yourself something nice. x

  • Hi Sam and thank you. It's amazing how such a small victory gives you such a huge boost. Hope you do again soon and get as much enjoyment out of it as I did. Even my friend saying 'it was good to see the old you again' was a boost in itself.

  • Belated congratulations! Pushing yourself a little bit is the only way to boost your confidence and hit back at the cruel inner voices that tell you you can't do it. Little steps, but actually they are huge successes :D

  • Thank you! Need to set more goals.....

  • You will! x

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