HI Everyone. I'm having a bit of a rubbish day today so thought I would ask if anybody has the same issue/any advice? I've felt really positive with my attitude towards anxiety. I haven't had a major panic attack for as long as I can remember which is the main thing, but I am finding I still can't switch off with one thing...anxiety over money. It is ruining my days and slowly my life. I have had a week off work this week, just annual leave, to spend with my partner. We went to scotland for the first half of the week and it was lovely. I had to spend quite a bit of money on walking equipment and boots before I went which I just brushed over as I knew I needed them, however I have come back and I feel bound by the sense of not wanting to spend any money. My bf asked what I'd like to do. I'd actually like to do a bit of cooking, get my hair done and buy myself some new clothes, but when I think about going out and spending money I actually feel quite sick. I feel myself getting worked up because in my head, I've convinced myself I don't have enough money to do this. On paper I do have the money, but I can't make that link that says 'it's OK to spend what you have in your bank, that's what you work for'. Because of this I've spent the past two days we've been home looking into all the things I want to do, then shutting off and feeling rubbish because I can't do them, it's making me miserable and ruining my week off and my bf's. It's like I can't concentrate on anything else. I hate this because I feel like I can't even treat myself. I've wasted so many years feeling like this when I should be enjoying myself but it doesn't matter how hard I try, I can't stop it.
Does anybody else feel like this? Part of me is thinking I should just really go against what I am feeling and buy what it is I am looking at and deal with the consequences as they arise (although I am thinking there won't actually be any bad consequences - It's probably all in my head) I just have this niggle where I think, I bet if I spend the money, next week something will come up and I'll need it and I'll wish I never spent it.