SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP

FED UP DEPRESED

LONELY

TIRED

JUST WANT TO

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP

WOULD KILL MYSELF

BUT HAS I SIT HERE WATCHING MY

16 YEAR OLD CHILD

i KNOW ITS ONLY SHE THAT WILL SUFFER

BUT SHES SUFFERING WHY

MY FAMILY KEEP TELLING ME IM MAD

WHEN I ASK WHAT THE DIAGONIS

IS THEY SAY ITS THE WAY i ACT

AND BEHAVE

FED UP OVER 10 YEARS WAITING

WAITING

WAITING

AND WAITING

NO ONES FEELING MY PAIN

OR HEARING MY CRY

NOT LONG LEFT

CHILD STARTS COLLEGE SOON

THEN OFF TO UNI

IN TWO YEARS

IF LIFES NOT CHANGED

AND IS JUST THE SAME

WILL KILL MYSELF

IM SO FED UP

TO BLACK TO BE LOVED

TO FAT TO BE LOVED

32 Replies

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  • Hey easier said than done but don't give up hope I often think if it wasn't for my children I wouldn't be here, you keep going for your children, them growing up doesn't mean their pain would be any less. You sound in a very bad place, talk to someone, if not family then your GP, The Samaritans, a friend, anyone you feel you can. Don't go through it alone.

  • thaks wish I could dont speak to family has its famiy that have made me this way have now just left them alone one week today

    dr knows how bad it is but wont do nothing keep changing drs same thing haswhen im ok no one notices but when I slipp people just tell me im bad caus im black

    my daughter is thej one thing that keeps me breathing

  • please find the strength to carry on your child will always need you it would break her heart to lose you. its terrible when youre in that bad place try thinking about the blessings you do have. your child for 1. no matter how bad you feel about yourself or how unloved, theres always someone who loves you. i bet your daughter thinks the world of you & that you are the best thing since slice bread. its good that you wrote on here you obviously want help. i should imagine everyone on here as been in the place youre in at this moment, but hey we`re still here & we will listen & help if we can. until you can talk to somebody grab a pen & a writing pad a notebook or anything to hand you can write on, and write down how you`re feeling & keep writing until all the feeling is down on the paper. i really believe this helps. besisdes being depressed & anxious, i bet you`re angry as well, that no one seems to be listening to how you feel, well write that down as well,(((((hugs )))))) for stay strong remember the song i will survive. if you cross feels too heavy to bear ask god to lighten your load.xx

  • oh thank you I think i found my gaurdian angel................your words are my words ohow odd was thinking of doing that buying a scrap book and just writing.........will have to come on and show you one that I did when I was really angry with my family thank you u just brightend up what was adull but goood day thank you

  • You are in my thoughts x

  • thank you xx feeling a bit better now

  • You are not alone. I have no doubt that your family adore you, they are just frustrated at not being able to help. This will pass, I promise you that. Just stay with today, don't let your mind leap forward to years from now. Tell your daughter that you feel really sad right now, but that it will pass. Let her have someone to talk to too. It's good that you've posted on here, it shows that you are reaching out for help. Keep in touch. Sending you love and strength xxxx

  • thank you I will post one of my poems from my hear that I wrote on facebook for my family and the whole world to see i need to diliquish all responsibity they have made me the person that i am today confused

    but my daughter luckly they tried the same thing but it hasnt worked so i have to stya strong but thank you

  • Hi there

    I know how hard can be to find the strength to live everyday with problems.the easy solution would be to stop thinking ,switch off your brain and your life.Look at your daughter and be strong for her at least.Sometimes I have the same thoughts and I was so close to do it.But when I see the inconditional love that only my boyfriend can give me I change my mind.there s nothing wrong with that!some people like your daughter is a reason not to stop your life.you can carry on your life just for her.till u will find your own reason to live.you are in my thoughts.don t give up!!xxxx

  • thank you for your kind words they are inspiaring

  • Thak you my dr has prescribed me diazapam going to try that and see how it works

  • you are a wonderful person and a great mum.. You have a lovely child and a lovely family.. Keep telling yourself this my friend. So what if you are fat ! so am I so are a lot of people it really doesn't matter...Creed or colour you are a fantastic creation .. Talk to someone it may help you .. Be brave and keep fighting you will come out stronger for this . There is only one you , you are unique , hold you head high and be proud.. You have made a positive step by writing down your thoughts.. Keep doing that it will help ..xxx

  • thank youfor your kind words

  • Hello. I have just read what you have written and I feel so sorry for you. The way you are feeling at the moment, I strongly suggest you go and see your GP and tell him exactly how you feel. I know by just talking to someone, it helps to get it out of your system. I dont think ending it all is the answer. I hope things get better for you. Take care Carol x

  • no point in talking to gp been to 3 they understand but think im some mad black woman one knew me from birth and knew this was the after effects of me caring for my dad for 4 years with diabeties and other illness and she struck me off after they where going to section me at the hospital! have no trust in the gps been trying forweeks to speak t o my gp on thep hone but they wont allw me

  • Hey, You cannot give up hope! KECHARA WEALTH VASES generates good health, long life, plentiful harvests, environmental protection and peace.Then people who bring a wealth vase home and keep it will be blessed. It Works- Try it for yourself.

  • thanks gonna google now and try xx

  • I've been there many times - I've even tried more than once. I've no children and only have my 86 year old Dad. I worry what I might do when the inevitable happens.

    Keep strong.

    Christine x

  • I feel it for you........i know how it feels christine babes. just imagine your mother and sister always ganging up on you and even though through there selfless deads i got beat and shouted at but i still o#loved my dad when my child was born her dad didnt stick around and my dad became her dad..........my dads diabetes took over and he ended up at home he didnt want carrers at first so me and my dauaghter who was 8 then looked after him my sister did nothig oh my word my dad endedup in a care home where they tried to kill him I was almost sectioned then my dr struck me off been to several other drs but they dont understand they just think im this angry black woman

  • HI THISISIT how you doing today hope you have taken some advice from all the lovley people on here you are not alone thinking of you x

  • yes thank you and I have replied back to each and every one gonna post a poem later there was a problem with your internet site so only could get back on today but thank you

  • Hi Honey,

    I hope you feel a bit better today. Please go and see your GP and tell him/her how you're feeling. There are plenty of anti-depressants they can give you, to help you feel better, although they do take 6-8 weeks to start working.

    In the meantime, please contact the Samaritans samaritans.org/ This has their email and phone number. Talk to them, and us.

    People do care. It's your depression that's telling you the negative things.

    Please look after yourself, and visit your GP.

    Tendo

    xXx

  • thank you xx

  • God is too great, ask for help pray and take care of yourself, you have to get over it. look how many on this site sufferring the same but still manage to crack a joke.

    we are all here for ech other.

    love and hugs

  • love and hugs to you

  • hi this is it. hope you managed to get to your g.p or called the samaritans. if you ever heve these felling & cant contact either of those, contact the crisis team at the mental health in your area. please stay strong & look after yourself. god bless you.xx

  • thank you

  • Don't feel alone there is so many people out there thinking the same as you!!! If you feel you have to end it goto a+e and ask for the crisis team. Iv been there so many times and give me hope and confidence and will help you ... Your stronger than you think. The fact you get through everyday proves your strong. Youv got to believe in yourself and pat your self on the back for getting through the day even if it is just for your daughter!! Colour of skin does not make any difference. Your still a human living this life :) stay strong !!

  • The only reason I'm still alive is guilt - I know the pain it causes and I can't do that to my family and friends (but I want to so badly sometimes). Please don't do that to your child. However old they are it will be terrible for them. I have lost a lover to suicide when I was 18 and an aunt 2 years ago. It really hurts. I hope you get help and feel better. I'm sorry you feel this way. I understand (I know that doesn't make you feel any better). xx

  • thankyou

  • HI there joycestokes here and i hear you, my thhoughts are with you. keep going. x

  • HI there joycestokes here and i hear you, my thhoughts are with you. keep going. x

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