Sadly I have had anxiety for about 14 years but fortunately over that time it has fluctuated in its severity. I also have agoraphobia which again has fluctuated. I have read some very sad posts on here lately and wish I could help some people more. I am currently receiving some help from Mind for my agoraphobia which is fantastic but I have had a terrible relapse with my anxiety. Last night my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to be taken to hospital and he didnt mean A&E lol! But I am still here today getting through it like millions of other really brave souls like yourselves in a world of misunderstanding, loneliness and fear. I wondered if we could take ourselves away from our anxiety for a while and tell each other our most wonderful experiences in life. Someone shared theirs with me the other day and it was very uplifting I wondered if it might help us all to really think and describe in as much detail as we can what we felt, thought, saw, heard in some of our most memorable times.
Mine is the time I saw the sea again after not being able to travel to the coast for about 6 years. It was a beautiful day, hot and sunny. The sea was alive with shimmering light. I can remember I was amazed at how flat the horizon was and how bright the light reflecting off it was. We had travelled to the Wirral and decided to climb a small hill. I saw something in the distance and couldnt believe it when I looked through the binoculars and saw blackpool tower. It was truly amazing. To have overcome my phobia to such an extent that I could travel to the sea and then to see something amazing in the distance was awe inspiring for me. Everything was perfect that day. The sand hot beneath my feet, the gulls soaring in the perfect blue sky. Blackpool tower is not the most amazing thing in the world compared to niagra falls or the pyramids, but to me that day it was truly spectacular. One thing I learnt from it is to appreciate the smaller things in life. Its this that keeps me going. Last night I wanted it to be all over, I couldnt bear to be terrified of the panic any more but I dont want to die. I want to live free from some of the fear so that I can have days like this again.