feel so frightened today

Writing this to keep my mind distracted.Feel so anxious today .I have tried to distract myself tried breathing exercises nothing is working.I have took some diazapam to calm me down so hoping it kicks in soon.Why do we have a few good days then come back down to earth with a bang.Everything is hurting back neck pressure in my head,feel light headed and I know its anxiety but cant stop thinking about it.Slept well last night from 10-6 opened my eyes was fine but as soon as I was fully awake I let the feelings take over the negative thoughts.I hate hate hate this feeling so much will it ever get better ???,Now all Im doing is looking at the clock to see how late it is and if its time for bed.Got to remain strong for when my son comes in from school he knows I have anxiety but dosent fully understand it.My partner is great he listens and cuddles me when I cry.Im writing this with tears falling I find crying can help its a release.Trying to do my CBT techniques but struggling with it today.Sorry for rambling but this is a relaese for me.xxx

[truegal]

i know one day am fine ... another day am downhill .... yesterday i had amazying day as my mates made me feel comfortable however the anxiety was there all the time in different ways. today i woke up and started crying because i was realisin that it was my parents fault for me developin anxiety . it is because of lack of socialisation . they didnt provide an opportunity for me to socialise.... i was thinkin that all my friends are experienced in goin out but it was only me who was new at it. because of lack of socialisation i have developed an fear. i know bein distracted takes away the anxious feelin.x

[Bramwell]

The better I am one day the harder I seem to crash when I do go down.

I feel for you Sharon.

[Hidden in reply to Bramwell]

Do you think its because in our minds we are just waiting for it to happen.Dont know about you but I worry about not worrying >

[Bramwell]

I really don't know but I have realised that if I have a few good days then I'll drop like a stone and have a dreadful day.

I've been like that for a few years now.

I do have a constant nag in my mind that something bad is just around the corner and if I relax too much it'll come and hit me when I'm not expecting it.

[Hidden in reply to Bramwell]

Its awful isnt it just wish we all could have good days everyday.

[mum4]

Its awful isn't it to feel like this, I really do feel for you , I think we all wish it would just go away , if only we had a magic wand ? Maybe part of it is learning to accept that this is the way we are , and I dont mean accepting that we will always feel awful, because as you say sometimes it is just worse than others, and we know we will have better days, but you do wish it could just be fixed , I know I do . It sounds to me like you are a really strong person, as we all are , you just have to keep reminding yourself of that. I find deliberately keeping busy really helps on bad days, somehow it helps to take your mind off it a bit , I hope you feel better soon xx

[Hidden in reply to mum4]

thank you for your reply lovely words,I like to think Im a strong person but days like this I dont feel it x tomorrows another day x

[LilMsS]

You ARE a strong person hun.... Anyone who suffers anxiety is a strong person as we live daily with this condition and it can be mentally and physically exhausting...... You have managed some chores today which is great..... award your self some credit for that..... As everyone on here will agree some days re good, some re bearable, some are hard and some are unbearable BUT it doesn't last forever and you may find after having a couple of horrid days that you begin to pick up again..... Remember we may all live miles apart but we are all on here for the same reason ... we understand each others feelings, emotions and symptoms to a t.....Your nearly through another day lovely and lets see what tommorrow brings for you xx.

[Hidden in reply to LilMsS]

Thank you Sar you have been one great friend to me and have got me through some of my darkest days x

[littlemiss]

I go from highs to lows very quickly, I have had a good session of CBT today, and it is totally normal during therapy to go from high to low especially with OCD it is part of getting better. Keep strong I hope that we will all eventually have more ups than downs, anxiety unfortunatly is very hard to beat but we can do it!!!

[Pickle165]

HI i hope you are feeling better, i know what a struggle it is. i have been given diazapan for bad moments but have never taken them. i was given 5mg tablets so i could start small. how do they make you feel? what dose do you take?

[Hidden in reply to Pickle165]

Hi Sam just been to the docs and as always feel a lot better after seeing him as he is so good.I love Diazapam mine are 2mg and one weeks worth lasts me a month or so as I only use them in bad moments.They just calm you down instantly and for me all my tension disappears I have had no side effects from them at all but they can be addictive thats why I use them only when needed