Hi Everyone,I desperately need to get this off my chest to people who I'm hoping understand, have been through it themselves, can relate and even can give advice on how you cope.
I've always suffered with anxieties, and I normally have a handle on them. Until Wednesday when my husband unfortunately came home with the dreaded stomach bug. I have a severe fear of being sick and being around anyone who is unwell so you can only imagine what this did. I took all my precautions and happy to say I didn't become sick myself and my husband is much better after only a few hours of actually being unwell. But.. This has caused my anxiety to sky rocket. It's like I'm now locked in my own mind and I can't see past this. Every winter I take precautions to ensure I stay well and I try and get my husband, who is a postman, to do the same. I can control what I come into contact with but I can't control what he does. I've schooled him on if he is out and about, especially as he delivers post to schools and nursing homes, to get his hands clean before eating. So I've done my part there. But what is now making me anxious is the "What ifs". What if I were to pick it up from somewhere and get ill. What if I'm out and about and the symptoms come on suddenly (which they seem to) and I can't get home. The what ifs have made my world shrink. And yet before Wednesday neither myself nor my husband had been ill with a tummy bug in the 13 years we've been together and in my 34 year life. Once brought into my home doesn't mean it's everywhere.. I know this. But somehow it feels like this. I look at other people just going about their lives, not fearing a tummy bug and I wish to be them. I don't want to be frightened to go out, I don't want to be controlled by what ifs. But right now I have absolutely no idea how to overcome them and get back to normal life.
If you've reached this far, thank you for reading. X