anxiety

[JBaird1952]

hi there, I’m 71 and I have IBS and suffer with anxiety , every time a birthday or similar occasion comes I get all ready to go then feel extremely light headed , my blood pressure goes up and feel nauseous so much that I have to cancel, certain family members always give me a hard time and say it’s just an excuse but it really isn’t and this tends to upset me more. I’ve been told several times to put myself first by my doctor. I just feel so depressed by it all.

[Dixie9326]

I frequently feel the same way when planning a night out.. I always suck it up and go anyways and usually have a good time..the lightheadedness and nausea become much less and I’m always glad after that I PUSHED forward. It’s not easy to do but I don’t want to stop living because of my anxiety and IBS.. it sucks to live like this but it is what it is..Good luck to you … hope you can overcome the fear that goes along with our symptoms!!

[Jeff1943]

Doctor Claire Weekes, the 'woman who cracked the anxiety code', wrote that the stomach is the organ of the body most sympathetic to anxiety. Hence all the stomach and bowel related symptoms for those with anxiety disorder.Her answer would be to accept the light-headedness, rise in blood pressure and nausea and go to the social occasions you mention. Despite how you feel you will not faint and you will not actually be sick.

Anxiety is a bully but it's power is limited, accept it for the time being and you will eventually cease to add second fear to that flash of first fear and the flow of anxiety hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol will diminish.

Her mantra for recovery, if you can call it that, can be summed up in 6 words:

Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass.

Over the past 60 years her self-help books have helped tens of millions of people worldwide to recover from anxiety disorder according to David Barlow, Emeritus Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Boston University.

[Agora1]

Hi JBaird1952, I use to have spastic colon as well as lightheadedness which became worse

when receiving an invitation to a party, wedding etc. I was always worried about

embarrassing myself causing a scene should I faint or start crying and shaking. So instead,

I wouldn't go. Of course then the family would give me a hard time about never attending.

And then the anxiety became more about anticipating what others would say when I did

show up, putting more stress on me. It was like I couldn't win. Please don't allow depression

to take over but rather determination. If you really want to go to an event you can and

you will if take that first step. It's not about giving others what they want but giving

yourself what you need, that is control over your life again. xx

[JBaird1952 in reply to Agora1]

thankyou it’s a comfort to know someone else has the same problem, you describe it exactly. I have a very domineering daughter who seems to delight in making me feel bad. She doesn’t speak to me for weeks after I fail to attend things and now my grand daughter has joined her saying I have to apologise , I really try to go to places sometimes I can get there sometimes I can’t, I wish things were different. I’m so down at the moment 😢

[Agora1 in reply to JBaird1952]

Dear JBaird1952, families can be our worst criticizers. Your doctor's advice

was true in that you need to put yourself first. We can't control how others act

towards us but we can control in how we react to their ways. Our emotional

upheaval is in our hands, our power. Medication can only go so far with ongoing

situations. It is then that we need to find additional methods/tools in helping

us get through this issues in life.

No one deserves to be disrespected by family members but it does happen.

A release of tears can help for the moment but it can eventually make you feel

powerless.

As for myself, I use the power of my mind through daily Meditation. I have found

that my breathing exercises has brought down my b/p, heart rate and adrenaline

peaks.

Please continue to use this community as a sounding board for your frustrations

and issues. Power is within numbers as well as Acceptance. xx

[JBaird1952 in reply to Agora1]

thankyou for replying it’s been a big comfort, xx