Confused

[osbo54]

Has anyone else experienced something like this? I have had health anxiety and GAD for all of my life, but never had a panic attack. Anxiety is just always there free floating in the background.

Now I have had the following happen several times in the evening. I am sitting, relaxing watching tv or reading and feeling perfectly fine. All of a sudden my heart will go nuts, my BP will spike, and several times I laid my head back and felt dizzy. Now I have BPPV, which is positional dizziness, and I figured when I laid my head back, it kicked it in. I always get panicky when I get an episode, but nothing like this. I don’t get any other symptoms...no chest pain, no sweating, no fear of impending doom, and all the other symptoms that go with a panic attack.

So I am not sure if the BPPV set off panic, or if that was even panic. I am having a full cardiac workup to be sure. I am starting to really notice my body in the evenings, and I am starting to realize I am uptight and waiting for something to happen.

Can you be over anxious and not even know it?...thinking you are relaxed and perfectly fine and then BAM, out of the blue something like this happens. I have never had a panic attack that I know of. Would this be considered one since I don’t have all the symptoms...just a couple? This is very confusing to me.

I will also tell you that I have been under extreme stress since June of this year. Could these episodes be a cumulative effect? And maybe I don’t realize how anxious and stressed I truly am?

Thank you very much for your help.

[Rosiemarie82]

Anxiety symptoms vary from person to person. You described my symptoms almost perfectly, except I do get chest pain with mine.

Also, mine always seems to happen "from nowhere". For instance, had an outing with my husband and child today....everything was great while we were out, even though the circumstances were perfect for an anxiety attack...traffic, lots of people, etc. Then as soon as I get home and relax: anxiety attack

I would guess that you were having a panic attack (I am NOT a doctor), but the things you described sound exactly like my first trip to the doctor's office, for what was diagnosed as a panic attack.

Hope you are feeling better!

[osbo54 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

Thank you so much for your response. I am still not sure, but at least I can consider a panic attack. Wow, here I am at this late age in life and now I start with this? Good Lord!

[osbo54 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

One more question. I did not feel fear at the time. I felt the symptoms, then I felt the fear. Fear of the symptoms, not fear itself. Is that the way it works for most people?

[Rosiemarie82 in reply to osbo54]

Same... I fear the symptoms. Having battled this for the better part of a year now, I can more easily talk myself down. I've had clear blood work, clear ecg, and clear chest xray....so when it flares up, I remind myself that 1) in theory there is no reason to be scared and 2) whatever is going to happen will happen, freaking out does not change the outcome.

I feel like I am a bit old for this to have suddenly started (37), but I have been through a roller coaster of emotions over the last 3 years (both of my parents suffered strokes, my husband had a major surgery, and I quit smoking cold turkey) I think my brain just had a hard time keeping up!

[osbo54 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

I know what you mean. I took an early retirement in 2016 and in 2017 my kitty I had had for 17 years went missing and I never found him...no closure. In 2018, I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease which is hanging around even after treatment, and this year I lost my Dad who was 86, from a massive stroke. Now, I have the care of my mother, not feeling well myself, and no help from family, and disagreements from my only sibling, no wonder I am experiencing sudden attacks, if that is what it is. And with already having general anxiety, I guess this is the perfect storm. I hope your folks and hubby are ok? I suppose you were the caregiver for hubby during that surgery. That is so hard to do. I am not caregiver material, but I am forced into it right now.

[Maxyz3 in reply to osbo54]

You have had to deal with many negative situations in the past 3 years. Anxiety comes from trying to stay strong for so long.

Know you got through it and got through it and whatever comes your way is temporary

You are stronger then you think.

[Rosiemarie82 in reply to osbo54]

I cared for my dad 24/7 in my home for 9 months. Zero help. It took its toll on me, and my family. I ended up having to place him in a nursing facility.

My husband had a spinal fusion in his lumbar spine. I had to take care of him for a couple of months (I had emergency gallbladder surgery 2 weeks prior). He is wonderful. No complications and he is pain free

I have to take my mom to see a vascular surgeon next week. One artery is almost 100% blocked, so they won't touch it, and the other is about 50% blocked, so she's probably looking at surgery for that.

[osbo54 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

Oh my goodness, that is a lot to handle for any person. And that zero help is what gets me. Mom's church has been awesome. Family...not so much. I can understand why you had to place your dad. Mom isn't there yet, but we have had our talks. Were I a younger person in better health, I could probably handle it, but I don't know about now. So sorry to hear about your mom. That is a tough one. I guess we do what we have to do...no choice sometimes.

[Rosiemarie82 in reply to osbo54]

I am my dad's only child....even though he was an absent father, I felt obligated to care for him. His stroke was massive, and surely changed his personality. He became volatile toward me and toward his therapists. I almost feel like he wanted me to send him to the nursing home.

I am not my mom's only child, I have a half sister, but mom prefers my help. I'm "nicer" lol.

[osbo54 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

Is he still living? My dad's stroke was massive also, and he didn't make it. He was a very good dad and I miss him tremendously. We just lost him June of this year. I found him crumpled in the floor which will not leave my mind. My mom has macular degeneration so she didn't see him. She keeps her eyes closed a lot because her eyes bother her so much. I think she blames herself a lot but I also blame myself. I was in the other room and did not hear a thing. I guess he slid down the cabinets in teh kitchen instead of hitting the floor hard. I don't know how long he laid there. That broke my heart.

So you are nicer. lol I get it. I take care of Mom now, too. And it is not easy doing it alone.

[Rosiemarie82 in reply to osbo54]

So sorry about your dad.

Yes, my dad is breathing, but I wouldn't call it living.

He is not capable of speaking, he is bedridden, and it hurts my heart TREMENDOUSLY.

His "friends" of 50+ years have not visited one time, quit calling to check on him about 6 months in, when they realized I wasn't going to give them his stuff ???like seriously?

I wonder sometimes if that's where my anxiety stems from. I feel like I failed him....but his friends are a true testament to human nature. As a whole, we suck

[osbo54 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

Wow, how sad. How long has he been in that condition. They told us at the hospital that if Dad lived he would basically just be a body laying there with no function. I prayed he would pass and not have to live like that. He was an active go-getter type of person and he would not have wanted to live like that.

Yeah, the friends. OMG, how terrible. You didn't fail him, you did the best you could for him.

[Rosiemarie82 in reply to osbo54]

His strokes were 3 years ago. I kind of feel like he doesn't want to lay there like that either.

He did well when he was with me and cooperated with therapy. He could say a few words, walk the length of my house with assistance, and give clear yes or no answers.

When he stopped cooperating, his condition declined pretty fast.

Now he cannot talk or walk, and confuses yes and no answers.

I know I would not want to live like that, it breaks my heart.

[osbo54 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

Yes, very sad. I think sometimes when the patient is tired of living with it they give up. They stop cooperating, eating, etc., because they are ready to go. After we unhooked life support from Dad, he hung on for a week. When we all told him it was ok to go, especially my mom, he went that night. He was just waiting for us to say it's ok. I think they feel they are hurting their family and letting them down, so they need to be told it's ok sometimes.

[Maxyz3 in reply to Rosiemarie82]

Anxiety and panic seem as one..first you get anxiety, then if you fear the symptoms of what the anxiety is causing to the body , like heart palpitations or any other feeling, you have fear come in because of what you are thinking like "I'm having a heart attach"! This thinking brings on more fear which goes into the panic. It's a viscous circle! If you relaxed when having the symptoms and said I Am ok..you know your blood work and other testing are good. Should come to mind..this thinking relaxes the body and no panic will come .You are experiencing fear of something medically wrong with you and impending doom. You are over reacting by your negative thoughts that are not true. I hope I am not confusing you and am clear as to how the panic comes in after the anxiety. I've been there and understand it.

[osbo54 in reply to Maxyz3]

Thanks, yes you have. I've always had the anxiety. My confusion comes in with these current episodes. I am not quite sure what is Lyme, what is anxiety, or if there is something going on with the cardiovascular system. So, I am having a full work up to rule that out. I guess if I knew for sure this was panic attacks, I could deal with it, since I have dealt with anxiety all my life. It's the not knowing that is bothering me. Especially after never having panic attacks before. I guess when I can get the peace of mind that it is not a medical situation, then I may be able to work through it a little better. Does that make sense? I guess it does feed upon itself. You start to feel a little funky and then some fear sets in, then you feel worse, and more fear, and on and on. My episodes don't fit the usual panic attack symptoms. That is what was confusing for me. I don't get sweating, shortness of breath, feelings of doom, shaking, chest pain, etc. But as Rosiemarie explained, for everyone it is different.

[Maxyz3 in reply to osbo54]

Yes, I understand completly..I to am bothered by not knowing things . That is nomal. We need to fix things. I agree that you need to get a check up for some of your issues. I believe lyme disease affects the nervous system. Ask your Dr. If the Lyme can be the reason you feel anxiety. Yes, you do need the peace of mind. Asking questions helps. You will get through this just fine..take it one day at a time.

[Maxyz3 in reply to Maxyz3]

There is mild anxiety ,then there is severe anxiety..you are experiencing mild anxiety. The severe anxiety causes more intense symptoms like , sweating, chest pain, can't breath etc.

[osbo54 in reply to Maxyz3]

The Lyme may be affecting the anxiety, but I know I had it before so I think it is being exacerbated now because of all the stress I am under. A lot of the most current symptoms came about after my father passed. I have had Lyme for a year and a half now, and I have done extensive research. I have just learned to treat it like a chronic disease, and hopefully one day I will find my answer for treatment. Right now, I am doing frequency/energy medicine with the Ondamed machine. That seems to be helping along with meditation, Reiki, and watching my diet. I am hopeful that one day I will feel like my old self.

I see about the anxiety. I guess I could be having panic attacks in a milder from. It's weird because you would think it would affect me more when I am out, but it seems to come in the evening when I am relaxing, and under no stress that I am aware of. But, then again I am under continued long term stress, so I guess that could do it. I am anxious when I am out, I can feel it, but I am able to function pretty well. I am aware in the evening of thinking about it and wondering if it is going to happen tonight. I suppose that low level stress and expectation can bring it on.

[Lotus4 in reply to Maxyz3]

You are right I understand it also had it for years!