For the past 2 months I have had all kinds of weird things happening to my body and it’s made me a depressed hopeless wreck , I’ve had “migraines” without pain and seen shapes on the wall and smelt burning that does not exist .. this has gone now. Now it’s pain in body , my joints (a lot under the arms) and nerves , from sharp shooting pain to discomfort. I feel pressure in my face a lot and have had acid reflux/ bloating every day. My heart rate is also to high and I currently have a Holter minor on to return today, my legs feel like I’m walking through mud sometimes and hands so heavy it feels hard to type and all I want to do is lay down and google , google , google + check my heart rate every 10 minutes. I need to do things like my washing and prepare for my new job Monday but just living feels impossible when I’m always scared I’ll just die from a heart attack or stroke ect. It’s getting in the way of my relationship to . Most doctors say it’s anxiety ect but I finally found an amazing doctor who believes me and is running checks! .. but even still , I really need to get it through my head I can’t just drop dead???!!! Literally nothing can cheer me up.. not even my dream job that I landed or my beautiful boyfriend. 😰😔 I cant bare it anymore.
More info for anyone who can help👇🏼❤️❤️
I am 18 and about to begin a job in childcare.
Strong relationship of 4 years.
Living with partners parents in a new town and moving out into our own house after a couple months.
I had one counseling session last month which did settle how many panic attacks I was having.
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Courtneyxxxx
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It is really tough to be going through all that at your age. It does all sound like anxiety to me. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder which started after a couple of life traumas 2 years ago. I had alot of the symptoms you are having and some different ones too. Like you said, you will not drop dead. The secret is to try to help yourself ignore and not be afraid of the symptoms and they will all disappear.
You have done really well to get yourself a great job and you need to try to relax before you start the job.
That will probably help distract you away from your symptoms alot. Try to also stop googling. The only way I could stop was to finally say to myself, whatever I have got I have got and I will live with it and I just stopped completely after that.
Are you on antidepressants at all. They worked really well for me and I am back to being happy and well and not at all anxious. Just a few minors symptoms such as breathlessness left now. Antidepressants are however often very hard to get used to and it is likely you will feel worse before you feel better for a few weeks. They can also take a few months and some dose increases to work fully for you.
Have you been to your doctor to talk it all through. You sound as if you have had some therapy which can also help alot. Try to keep occupied all the time so you cannot focus on your symptoms. I followed an activity programme every day which I can tell you more about if you wish.
Hi Kim, I know the message wasn’t for me but I read it and I’d like you to help me understand what’s going on with me. I suffer from a typical anxiety with panic attacks. I’ve been taking Escitalopram for 17 days and i feel like all my symptoms are worse every morning when I wake up I’m extremely stressed and anxious having intrusive thoughts and i can’t focus on anything when I can’t stand the fear I take alprazolam 0,5mg but then I’m more like a zombie for a while. I feel really depressed and nothing makes me feel happy I feel like I can’t live like that anymore.. my doc said I should wait 4 weeks to check if the pills kick in.
Is it possible it’s making me feel so bad after 17 days?
Years ago I was taking Paroxetine and after 3 weeks I felt better and then was better and better with every week and I became myself and anxiety free..
now I’m losing my hope that Escitalopram is good for me. What do you think? I’d really appreciate some advice.
So sorry to hear how you are feeling. It certainly could be your antidepressant making you worse until you start to feel better. It can take 4 weeks or even a bit more to feel better. It is really tough to go through but works in the long run and for me was well worth it.
I am on one called Venlafaxine and I had odd days feeling better and certain symptoms that got better from about the second week but I also started to have some worse symptoms that took about 3 months to go. I felt alot better by 4 months and carried on improving for a year. I don't know much about your antidepressant but I think your doc is right that you need to wait the 4 weeks for it to really start working. If your doc thinks you are not responding well enough by then they will change you to another possibly stronger antidepressant. The one I am on is very effective for anxiety but is also difficult to get used to at first and can be difficult to come off if you need to.
I also think that you have to work with it and do lots of excercise and other activities to help your recovery. You do them whether or not you feel ill, just work through the symptoms and then tell yourself how well you are doing to have done it and do something relaxing such as watching a favourite film with a snack and nice cold drink afterwards. Keeping postive, relaxing and excercising even if it is just an hour of fast walking will really get you there.
Message me if you want full details on the program I followed and the way to help yourself to ignore and accept symptoms and not to be scared of them. Claire Weekes book and You tube videos will tell you alot of what my program was based on also.
Very good luck, you are doing the right thing and will get there
Thank you for the reply. Of course you can send me some details about the program you followed. I’m a big fan of Paul David’s books about anxiety. I’m not sure if you know the books? It helped me a lot but at the moment I need pills as I’m to weak to try to defeat the anxiety alone
The problem with taking the pills at the moment is all the symptoms seem worse than before I started taking them.. so I sort of feel like i maybe don’t have a control over them..? Because it’s more the side affects than my anxiety? I’m not sure how it is exactly.. if I can still control it anyway.
I was very active before. I love fitness and jogging but now I don’t have appetite so I force myself to eat at least a little bit but it’s not enough so I’m weak and it’s difficult to do exercise. I try to go for a short walk every day but never alone. I’m to scared at the moment. In the evening when I feel calmer I watch my favourite series and it does cheer me up. But in morning... here we go again - I’m so so scared almost numb
Sorry about the delay in replying, I wanted to wait until I had time to do the programme justice.
I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. It is not weak to need antidepressants, you are over producing stress hormones and need some help in the same way as a diabetic person needs insulin.
I really hope you are feeling better by now. It is really good you like excercise as that will really help as soon as you feel able to do it. Build up gradually. I am not some sort of excercise fiend by the way quite the reverse actually. I love walking but rarely walk longer than 3 or 4 miles at once. The maximum achieved lately is 8 miles. I do run a little and that had helped my fitness alot but it is only what we used to call Scouts Pace which is run 100 paces and walk 50 paces etc done for around half a mile 3 times a week. I even had to build up slowly to that. I happen to love swimming and it is fairly well known that cold water swimming does lift your mood for most people but swimming at a pool is also fine.
So the approach I mentioned is that you write yourself a programme where you build in 5 different types of activity which include 1.something physical to provide excercise,2. something social such as meeting a friend going to an activity where you socialise etc, skyping or even just emailing or posting and replying but preferably not just that, 3.something creative or mentally stimulating 4. something relaxing and enjoyable as a reward to yourself, and 5. something altruistic to help others each day.
As well as making sure you stick to all of this, you need to help yourself to have the correct mental attitude to what you do.
The way you help yourself to do this is that you see it as only important that you do each activity not that you feel well and have less symptoms while you do it. Whether you feel good or bad, get an attack such as we have or not does not matter. What matters is that you attempted the activity and stayed with it for as long as you could. The thing you are aiming for is to accomplish activities which did make you feel ill and that you remained with the activity and did not try to distract yourself from the feelings just noticed what they were and that you came out of it at the other end. In actual fact you need yourself to feel ill/anxious/panicky etc while you do the activity and stay with it because that way you are healing your anxious mind more quickly than otherwise.
The fear is taken out of the symptom and hence the activity because you approach it by thinking this is my healing opportunity. It is absolutely fine that I feel ill etc, I will do it anyway and that is showing me how strong I am and that I am on the way to recovery.
I used to dread my version of panic attacks which made me feel sick, dizzy and anxious but I always made myself do the activity anyway. However although it is essential not to avoid them I did find that I was still getting the attacks because after the activity I would be really miserable because I had had an attack rather than just feel pleased with myself for having done it.
Someone helped me once by saying if you feel ill when out walking see it the way athletes see "the burn" the burn us the attack by running etc until you reach the burn or the attack you then ideally continue until you come out the other side and the symptoms reduce while you are still walking, talking on Skype etc. Your mind then gradually learns that hey this is not such a scary thing. I generally however remained feeling unwell but learned that I did not die as a result. You have done whatever makes you anxious and ill and nothing has happened, you have not died and the world has not come to an end
This message is long enough, we will both be loosing the will to live soon.
Let me know what you think about trying this way if thinking and also the activity plan. You kind of need both to make sure that you do the things that you would try to avoid each day because they bring on anxiety.
The activity that is a reward would normally be anything you enjoy such as chilling out in front of the TV or a cup of tea and piece of cake etc.
You do not have to spend a long time on each activity, just do it and stay with it.
The important thing is that you mentally give yourself a pat on the back for having done whatever you did. At first you will do well to attempt but abandon the activity, so as long as you try you will always succeed and must tell yourself how well you have done to even try. You do not beat yourself up on the days you do not try either but make sure you are on track again the next day.
I forgot to say that I do not know about Paul David's books but would be interested to hear what they cover. Claire Weekes is what most of my thinking is based on
I was on Paxil for many years and it worked great . My doctor suggested trying a different antidepressant because of weight gain and it wS a disaster. Some medications treat anxiety better and others make it worse. After months of suffering with trying to adjust to these new meds I finally went back to Paxil and feel good again. I rather be fat and happy then thin and suicidal and living in paralyzing fear. Good luck !
I’m pretty sure I’ll go back to Paroxetine. It’s almost 4 weeks on Escitalopram and I feel only worse, I don’t feel any progress. I’m exhausted.
Could you tell me if there were some problems during switching meds? I mean how it looked like when you went back to Paxil? Did you have some break between taking the previous med? And then did you have to wait a long time until Paxil started working again? Many weird side effects after switching?
Thankyou Kim! I spoke to my dad after a very long time and it calmed me down 45% and I hope it sticks busy days ahead as I’ve bee. Unemployed and not studying for 2 months.. also 2 months of these symptoms 🤨 If my heart comes back okay I’m going to ignore it all and focus on exercise!
Well done Courtney, that is the thing to do. keep it up and try not to be afraid of your symptoms. let me know if you want hear any more about what approach helped me.
I feel for you so much, I always say that anxiety just lies to you and it never tells the truth. You aren't going to just drop dead I promise just like the things I'm extremely anxious about aren't going to happen. It's just hard to believe when the physical parts of anxiety come too, because then you freak out. I promise you that you'll be okay, I write in a journal and tell myself often that my anxiety is a liar and give all of the reasons it is lying.
Your best bet is TO NOT USE GOOGLE, for little things it's okay but Google will scare you and make it worse. You can message me any time, I'm always here and I understand
Hi Courtney sorry your going through this at mo .Im much older than you (58)but am going through the same .I lost my dad a few months ago & i was ok to start but a few days after funeral noticed i was getting palpitations & feeling dizzy .I went to docs who told me my BP was up a little ,i panicked about that & like you google everything.I was still getting them a week later so back i went & was put on propanol which seemed to have helped .But any twinge i get in my arm chest like you think theres something wrong .Ive suffered from anxiety a long time ( mostly in silence ) & it is frustrating .Your young & mental health is better understood now ,so you will pull through .Good luck with your new job
I completely relate! I’ve struggled with anxiety for a while but had a good streak for about a year. Recently though, the old feelings are back again and strong as ever. It’s like something feels wrong with my body every day, and when one thing feels better, something else feels weird and gets me worrying all over again. I have a hard time distinguishing in the moment whether it’s anxiety or if something is truly really wrong. It’s a horrible feeling to be on such an emotional roller coaster. I find myself avoiding going places or going but wishing the whole time I was back home. I wish I had words of wisdom to offer, but at least you know you are not alone in feeling this way!
Courtney- I was always a anxious person and a panic person. But about a year ago I woke up with seeing things float across the tv, light colored curtains. Jumped on Google and that was it I was googling symptoms for months and months. Ran to the doctor, eye specialist and neurologist. Because I got caught up with Google when I would go to the doctor I would only tell them what Google said and not remember to tell them every symptom I was having. Somewhere from Googling I lost trust in all the doctors and thought the doctor Google had the answers. The doctor the eye specialist said everything was fine the neurologist was the one who found that my trap muscles all the way up to the base of my skull everything was so tight and inflamed. Pretty much for about a year I live with anxiety and when I didn't know at the time or panic attacks by myself. Prior to all that I had a very tough few years. So as I learned anxiety and panic attacks cause many many symptoms. I was on Lexapro for probably almost a year it didn't touch my anxiety at all so they finally switched me and I'm doing a little better. So I hope you're doing better and I hope things will get better and about taking one day one moment one hour at a time
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every morning when I wake up I’m extremely stressed and anxious having intrusive thoughts and i can’t focus on anything 
busy days ahead as I’ve bee. Unemployed and not studying for 2 months.. also 2 months of these symptoms 🤨 If my heart comes back okay I’m going to ignore it all and focus on exercise! 
why do we internet check symptoms to make ourselves worse:/
To: People with health anxiety who google their symptoms
I can’t take it anymore 
I don’t know what to do anymore :( please help 
I can’t do this anymore. 
