I can't deal with anything I feel insane

[Hollybee95]

I feel like Im going insane. Over the past few months I've been stressed out starting a new teacher training course. It's very hands on but I really enjoy it. However with this tough course so many things keep going wrong in my life every week there is a new problem to stress and worry about. I've felt very down for the last month crying constantly and trying to sleep every opportunity I have to escape what's going on in my head. But this week something snapped in my brain. I've had crazy thoughts I can't escape from and have suicidal thoughts daily now. I have no support from my boyfriend he tells me I'm making it up to get my own way and I just need to calm down and relax and not let things get to me. But that's impossible. My family are there for me but they don't understand my brain they think if I just try be positive everything will work out but I can't. I want to run away far away start a new life and just be happy again.

I'm too afraid to go to the doctor for help because I'm afraid that I will never find a job as a teacher if I've been registered as having a mental health problem.

Please help me xxx

[sunnyg]

I am a teacher and lots of teachers are on anti-anxiety meds. Believe me!! We are no different than the rest of the population. First, do go to the doc. Get some help. Second, it's OK to sleep alot...stress is exhausting. Third, YELL and scream and get the anxiety OUT. It's clogging up your system. You have to let it out. Sweat, run, scream, dance..whatever you need to move it out of your body. People who do not suffer the angst of anxiety DO NOT GET IT and that's OK. Do we really want them to get it? I don't want my friends and family to ever suffer the way I do, and they would have to to feel this to get it.

Search out Elliott Hulse on Youtube. He talks about letting anxiety out and having negative thoughts. He's a bit abrasive (likes the F word), but he is right on.

[Hollybee95 in reply to sunnyg]

I just wish my boyfriend could get it instead of making me feel more crazy. It's bringing me down even more and making me think maybe he is right. Maybe I am just crazy or convincing myself I have something wrong with me

[sunnyg in reply to Hollybee95]

Millions of people say he's wrong. Anxiety disorder is real and we need medicine and positivity to overcome it. Let him know you know you have a disorder and that you react to things in a dramatic way. Let him know you are working on it and that you hope he helps. One way he can help is to tell you what you're doing right, give you back rubs, take you on walks, feed you right.

[Hollybee95 in reply to sunnyg]

He's told me he doesn't have time for that. That i need to get better fast cus he can't deal with me anymore

[Chezlock in reply to Hollybee95]

I think most boyfriends dont understand, i get you 100percent at first my boyfriend thought I was making it up to try stop his from leaving the house or to avoid everything to do with him. Its only recently when hes seen physical effects of anxiety of mine that hes started to understand me a little better. I have two babies and juggling the whole thing is so scary i feel the same as you like if i go to the doctor i feel asif they will take it as i cant cope with my kids ect.. Or try forcing me to have tabs its awful.

[Goldfish_]

Well the things you can try yourself are exercising, computerised cbt (mood gym available on the internet), mind website has good resources, books amazon.com/Stayed-Alive-Whe...

If things aren't settling then it's a visit to the GP. Your medical records are confidential and your employer cannot access any part without your agreement and you can request to see it first and subsequently withdraw your agreement should you wish. Depression is very common and unlikely to be an issue with your employer.