I feel like Im going insane. Over the past few months I've been stressed out starting a new teacher training course. It's very hands on but I really enjoy it. However with this tough course so many things keep going wrong in my life every week there is a new problem to stress and worry about. I've felt very down for the last month crying constantly and trying to sleep every opportunity I have to escape what's going on in my head. But this week something snapped in my brain. I've had crazy thoughts I can't escape from and have suicidal thoughts daily now. I have no support from my boyfriend he tells me I'm making it up to get my own way and I just need to calm down and relax and not let things get to me. But that's impossible. My family are there for me but they don't understand my brain they think if I just try be positive everything will work out but I can't. I want to run away far away start a new life and just be happy again.
I'm too afraid to go to the doctor for help because I'm afraid that I will never find a job as a teacher if I've been registered as having a mental health problem.
Please help me xxx