So about a year ago I was playing baseball with my friends and I ended up breaking my nose giving me a ski slope looking nose along with not being able to breathe through it anymore. I got a girlfriend around the time so my appearance didn't bother me too too much but the breathing was a serious thing I needed fixed since I'm a really active guy and enjoy running, playing sports and working out and all that and those heavily depend on proper breathing. Me and my girlfriend broke up so I was feeling really self conscious, broken, and pretty void in general. A few months after the breakup (a year after breaking my nose) I decided to get a surgery to fix my breathing and the shape. I got it and now I'm two months post op, my nose looks worse than before and I feel even less like myself. I'm stuck with some reverse hook nose. The worst part is, the $25,000 surgery that was supposed to fix the breathing failed and the bridge collapsed again which is why the tip juts out. It sucks man. I don't wanna get another surgery to fix my breathing because it's too expensive and it's higher risk. I hate the fact that pointless bad crap happens to people purely just to bring us down. But that's life and I guess that's something we have to live with, some people are just not meant to breathe lmao. The scary part is, the swelling isn't all the way down yet so my nose could end up looking even farther from my og nose I don't think I'm all that ugly but I just want to feel like myself again. If I could relive my entire life just to prevent that one pivotal moment where I broke my nose, I would no questions asked. It isn't a vanity thing, I don't care what people think of me. I just want to go back to feeling like good ol' me, you know? And I get it "a personality is what makes you who you are" that may be true, but I still wanna breathe and look at myself in the mirror thinking "who tf is this sexy devil?" without also thinking "This is not what I was born with." It's gotten to the point to where I wanna yeet myself off a building because of how void I feel lmao edgy ik. If I'm gonna die though, I'm gonna sign up for the army, fight and die an honorable man because I'm not about to yeet without contributing to my country :')
confidence levels: 20/100 Disappointment levels: 100/100