Need reassurance!!! DP/DR health anxiety :(

Hey folks!

I’ve been trying to make this post like 3x so if it posts again, apologies. I need a lot reassurance right now.

Ok - so I’m realizing that, 100%, my anxiety triggers these feelings I’m getting. I think they’re DP/DR. I got them prior to Zoloft once, but I get them constantly now. While I know my anxiety does a million things, I can tell Zoloft is causing them to freak out more. I don’t feel like myself still, and still feel odd and drugged at times. My memory is also still not great.

The reason I’m posting this is that I really need to reassurance and advice on DP/DR. I’m hoping this is actually what’s happening. Yesterday sucked, as did today, between me freaking about my agoraphobia (it ended up being ok - I traveled to another city alone!) to some tax issues today. Wicked stressful. Anyway, I notice my moods/anxiety making me feel very very odd and hopeless, and I still feel this odd space out/dreamlike feeling.

Ok:

-So, I get this thing that is like I see somebody I don’t know and they remind me of something. A dream, or like someone I do know. It’s weird. Freaks me out.

-Then people I know and even myself look foreign. I know it’s them but there’s that distance. I can acknowledge this being more “normal”.

-I get this spacey feeling where I’ll think of dreams I had and space out. Or I’ll randomly remember things out of the blue (memories, dreams).

- This happens more since Zoloft but my memories feel like they’re not mine or distant... it’s weird.

The reason I’m freaking out is that I found this yesterday during my panic (my bad habits of google came back) and I found this dude who experienced the same thing (read his comments, as well). I’m freaking out cuz I had this happen during an EEG and it cleared as being normal. MRI: normal. Neurologist: not concerned. Psychiatrist: not concerned/said it’s anxiety/panic.

Please read:

medhelp.org/posts/Anxiety/E...

Should I be worried? That dude got diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. I do not think I’ve ever seized up or spaced out the way people do with epilepsy (I’ve seen it), but idk. Is mine from panic?!

I’m also freaking out because I HAVE to get back to work because I need to make money again. I’m terrified to go back to NYC alone... terrified of how Zoloft and panic makes me feel, of being alone, of getting a potential seizure alone, or like Zoloft making mental? Or going nuts? I hate this and I want to cry.

[dbeck128]

Wish I knew what to tell you, besides I get this too and have read a ton of other people do as well.

I read CBT can be effective, but basically your mind does this because you're so stressed. It's like it's way of trying to catch a break?

So with my little bit of research I have been trying to take it easy (easier said than done), but I do find comfort in knowing there are more people going through it than I think. I'm going to try and find the article I read. It gave me loads of reassurance. But you're not alon, I've noticed the more I focused on it, the more I freak myself out and it gets worse.

[Hidden in reply to dbeck128]

Thank you!! You always know what to say to me. I know you have so much going on so it means a LOT! Did you have the weird issue with strangers looking familiar/random things reminding you of dreams?

I notice I fail my CBT practice when I’m anxious. I did progressive muscle relaxation last night but I didn’t the night before and BAM. I seem to think I’m too anxious to be helped. Ugh!

[dbeck128 in reply to Hidden]

Yes. Another issues I have is blanking out. I hope you feel better soon. This will pass. I know you're having a hard time, but I know you can push through it.

You're an amazing person! Just keep on being strong. I know this cant last forever. ❤

[Hidden in reply to dbeck128]

Ok That makes me feel a little better. Man! We struggle with so many of the same fears. You’re so so kind to me!!!

[Agora1]

Cry if you have to Unicornsrule, but only to release your pent up stress not because

you are afraid of epilepsy. All the symptoms you have mentioned are about being anxious as "dbeck128" stated. Unfortunately, Dr. Google did it once again. Putting an

idea in your mind that overruled your tests and your doctor's diagnosis. Google

generalizes and we take away from it only the foreboding parts. It was not written with

you in mind but just as a generalization.

You are not going nuts. You are okay. You are safe. Close your eyes for a moment and

reel yourself in from this thought. Live in the present moment in what your doctors said.

"It is anxiety/panic" and nothing more. Breathe in deeply, hold and exhale slow and long. Do that several times to get yourself back on course. Sending positive notes to you xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so so much. I hope you’re right. It’s just so freaky because so many people say “oh my tests came back normal but I had it” “oh my mom was diagnosed with panic but it was TLE and she now has brain damage”. Terrifying. All I can do is push through, you are AMAZING! Wish I could hug you 😭

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

I felt your virtual hug xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

[Crystal1534]

I do wish i could help you cause I know your so scared and worried and stressed out about this ,not to mention it just feels horrible probably, but in my opinion ,and from my experiences zoloft and such meds as antidepressants and anxiety meds can sometimes make you worst. Not every med is the right one .sometimes you have to try a few before u find the one that helps. I suffer from depression and anxiety but I dont take meds ,I guess one reason is because I swear something else Is wrong with me that's causing me to have the feelings I feel that my doctor said is probably anxiety which i disagree with, and the other reason is I'm afraid its gonna change something else in my mind and make me worse. I don't know..but were you feeling like this b4 the Zoloft?

[Hidden in reply to Crystal1534]

You’re so right. I started to feel incredibly weird when I started Zoloft and got off 10ish days ago. It was sooo bad. I don’t wanna take meds ever again.. this freaked me out into thinking I’m going nuts! It’s been wild. What do you do to manage your anxiety and depression? And what feelings do you get from them that you don’t think is anxiety?

I have heard so many issues with this stuff can arise from vitamin deficiency and thyroid issues. I got both looked at and my thyroid was a little high but nothing crazy. Then they said I was b1 and b12 deficient. So I’ve been on vitamins!

[Hidden in reply to Crystal1534]

Oh and I only had depersonalization once before Zoloft that I remember. It was scary but this is worse

[Sunnidayz1]

I think you are freaking yourself out. It's easy thing to do for all of us so dont feel bad. Are you experiencing adverse effects to Zoloft? If so, give yourself a little more time to come down. Try to be patient with yourself. It takes time.

[Hidden in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Yeah I felt so weird and dissociated constantly on it. I got off 10 days ago but now I’m terrified I’ll be stuck like this forever

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Hidden]

Aw..im sorry you feel that way. I am sure you wont feel that way for long. Hang in there! You will be ok!

[Hidden in reply to Sunnidayz1]

I hope so!! Thank you so much 😊

[Crystal1534]

Well I hope u start feeling better.. a friend if mines got on meds and it made him totally worse. But everyone is different..i know. But God, where do I begin..i get feelings in my head ,like it really hot..my eyes feel weird..the worst is the overall really weird feeling I get that I cant explain . I just dont feel right and it feels bad. Theres times I dont want to leave my house .i just constantly worry that people will look at me and judge me. And I worry alot!! My heart beats fast and hard like its beating out my chest. Oh and I get dizzy alot to.

[Hidden in reply to Crystal1534]

Both my sisters got worse on Zoloft and I didn’t know until after I took it.. ugh. Just gonna ride it out

I have gotten all of those!!!! The eyes totally freak me out.. I suffer from visual snow (curious if you do? Actually a lot of people with anxiety and migraines do), and sometimes I feel pressure in my eyes. I get light sensitive, blurry, hard to focus.. ugh. I have felt not right and got terrified to leave my house. It sucks. It does sound like anxiety to me and I learned anxiety is super physical, too.. oh and I get dizzy and occasionally my heart races. The heart is actually my rarest symptom. Do you know what triggers your anxiety? Is it worrying about it? Do you get health anxiety?

[Lexirae_]

Everyday I have DR/DP, same thing, and constant visual snow 😩😩😩 And I’ve NEVER taken anxiety medication but do panic everyday. A weird link that I found is (idk if this is everyone’s cause) around the times my sinuses are inflamed is when it’s bad, straight feel like I’m in the matrix, idk how to explain but everything just feel dim to me, I genuinely feel like it’s caused by being in a constant state of panic, and worsened by sinuses! I don’t wanna give false hope but for the last few days After MONTHSSSSS of being like this every. Single. Day. I haven’t had it, I’ve been steaming and putting hot wash cloths on my face, stretching my upper back and neck daily (lightly) drinking more water, got a clean humidifier it’s helped tremendously. (I’m not sick, no stuffiness just inflammation, I can breath through my nose but it’s not as easy as when it’s not inflamed) another important thing with it is sleep, mainly going to sleep at a normal time, I hope it gets better for you! You can message me if you ever need!

[Hidden in reply to Lexirae_]

Thank you so much for your reply!!! This makes me feel so much better. It’s soooo weird. Ok it’s interesting you mention the sinuses. I get pressure there and notice it’s worse when I panic.. weird. Like, maybe the adrenaline adds more pressure to it? It’s WEIRD. I’m so gonna try this. Thank you!!!!!!!! Message me any time 😊

[grudgekyoko]

I feel like this a lot also. I’m currently experiencing weird visual effects and I get dizzy a lot also. I had to stop Zoloft due to it causing me to feel weird and dizzy, but that was quite a while ago so I know that’s not my issue now. I’m constantly worried it’s a brain tumor or a stroke. I feel your pain ❤️

[Hidden in reply to grudgekyoko]

What kind of weird visual effects? I’ve had them all lol. Both from Zoloft and before. Maybe I can help? Yeah. Zoloft made me feel WEIRD. How long were you on it / how long til side effects stopped?

Obviously I’m not a doctor but I can assure you that I experience the weirdest crap with visuals and my eyes are fine, as is my brain (got both tested) and anxiety causes the weirdest things!!

[grudgekyoko in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes I see things when I blink, like what happens when you look at lights and then look away, like little dark spots kind of? I also get the little eye floaters. I was only on Zoloft for about a month but I was dizzy and spacey for months after. I’m not convinced it was all from the drug though, some of it may have been anxiety since I’ve had dizziness off and on for years after. Thank you for the reassurance!

[Hidden in reply to grudgekyoko]

Sounds like after images? I get eye floaters, too - those are just protein, I think. After images are totally normal. I saw like random flashes when on Zoloft and my eye floaters were daily. I was sooooo spacey on Zoloft. Was your dosage high? I was spacey on 25mg and 12.5... nutty. I’m sorry yours lasted so long!!! I’m terrified of permanent effects. It made my memories weird and sort of suppressed my thoughts.

You’re welcome! Anxiety is wild!!

[Kkimm]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Do believe your doctors that it is certainly anxiety that is causing all your weird sensations and problems and you do not have any of the scary illnesses you had read about. I have had all those sort of feelings and thoughts and used to scare myself to death with what I thought I had.

I am now fully recovered, 22 months down the line. I have GAD which came on after a couple of life traumas. I am now really happy and not anxious any more but at my worst, every day was a nightmare and I did not know how I could live through an hour let alone a day at times.

You sound like you are trying to do all the right things by doing your CBT and trying to work and getting out etc.

You will get better if you are able to believe your doctors that your symptoms are caused by anxiety and just stop googling completely. Even when quite ill and convinced I had all sorts of things I decided to just stop googling and think, whatever I have, I have and I will just have to live with it. My mind was capable of creating almost every symptom I read about or other people had, so I began to realise how powerful the anxious mind is. If we let it have power over us that is. Try really hard to stop caring and it will gradually reveal itself as a paper tiger. I know this is so much easier said than done and we have to summon all our bravery and strength to do it, but we can do it.

Set yourself little challenges each day and do them, no matter how bad you feel, then tell yourself you are getting better. Do something to reward yourself each time you achieve them, such as chill out with a favourite comedy or chat about happy things with a friend.

I take lots of photos just of things around me with my phone or my camera, a bird, a beautiful building etc and just looking at them with a cup of tea and a chocolate finger biscuit, or an apple if I am being good, makes me feel happy and relaxed. I also found it is really important to relax alot and eat healthily, little and often, so as not to get low or over tired as anxiety is exhausting and depleting and will certainly increase when you're tired or hungry. Regular exercise also helps alot and increases the natural feel good chemicals in your body.

You are very brave to cope with anxiety on a day to day basis, we all are!!!!

You will get there, just try really hard to ignore all the scary symptoms and they will gradually go away as they will no longer have power over you.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you and everyone who has depression, anxiety or other mental health problems.

Kim

[Hidden in reply to Kkimm]

Omg thank you so much, Kim. You seriously made me feel so much better. I’m in a terrible state when I google. It makes it SOOOO bad!!!

I’m so happy you experienced the same thing because it gives me hope. How did you recover? My mind creates EVERY symptom, too. It’s wild.

I took your advice and took photos today of the moon Thank you soooooooo much!!!!!

[Kkimm]

Hi Unicornsrule

So pleased to have been of help.

I recovered pretty much through what I described to you as the way forward. A little step each day, ignoring symptoms, exercise, relaxation and positive thinking. I also am on antidepressants but many people have done it without them. The one that worked so well for me was Venlafaxine. It is quite a strong one and is an SNRI not an SSRI like Zoloft that you are weaning off. When starting to take it I did feel alot worse before I got better. I began to feel I was myself again after around 4 months. Took about a year for it to work properly for me and I still continue to improve and now feel better than I did before I was ill after being on it for 22 months on quite a high dose. The world seems beautiful and full of possibilities for me. I am very lucky. I am however sure you will get there too.

So glad you enjoyed taking pictures of the moon, I have done that and it can really lift you out of yourself. Space is so infinite and timeless and your own problems can seem to melt away and people seem insignificant when you look up into the night sky.

You will find there are so many beautiful things to photograph when you start to look around you more. Often things that you had never before seen as beautiful are out there waiting to reveal their beauty and significance to you.

I think when you have been in such a low place and recovered you realise how amazing and valuable life is and the small things that used to bother you become insignificant.

Kim