Need reassurance/health anxiety

Hey folks,

I’m new here and I’m doing everything I can to combat my health anxiety.

Ever since my panic attacks/agoraphobia began, I have been struggling so bad. I’ve convinced myself that every symptom I have is the most severe disease, despite the doctors saying it isn’t. Part of what fuels it is what others say online, the fear that doctors missed something, and more.

I started Zoloft almost two weeks ago and it makes me feel WEIRD. Sometimes, my memories seem fuzzy, or my thinking is slow, or sped up. Dreams are super vivid. I remember everything when I wake up and it’s draining... bad dreams make me feel depressed and I don’t suffer from depression.

I have literally thought I’ve had everything from MS (got an MRI and I don’t), to seizures (doc checked me out and said I don’t... did an EEG and MRI and neurological exams), to AIDS (got a blood test), to beriberi (I was b1 deficient), to schizophrenia (two doctors said I’m fine), to psychosis (also fine).

The main thing I’m struggling with right now is that I keep having memory pops - thoughts just pop in my head and freak me out. I get derealization/depersonalization bad. I remember dreams and had this weird problem where they were popping in my head in snippets post and after a bad panic attack. The latter really made me think I was having seizures, because... google. I had the flashbacks in my head during the EEG and it came back clear. But I’ve been panicking all day that something was missed. And if it was, what it I’ve gone mental? What if my psychiatrist/psychotherapist were wrong?

I’ll be on Zoloft for two weeks tomorrow, and when I called my psychiatrist to talk about side effects, she was really dismissive and told me to “just stop taking it then”. I got scared because she asked if I saw a neurologist about the mind pops/dream recall and i said I did but it sent me into panic

The Internet keeps saying EEGs and MRIs can come up as having nothing wrong with them even if people have temporal lobe epilepsy. I’m pretty terrified that’s what happened. I think I just need reassurance.

[a_work_in_progress]

Hi that’s awful that your psychiatrist just told you to stop taking them. Maybe you should look for a new psychiatrist or add a therapist or psychologist that you will be able to talk to and not feel more anxious or intimidated. I know it’s hard to switch psychiatrists if they’re giving you meds they have all your documentation and history but you really need someone on your side. What dosage are you taking of the Zoloft? I have been taking Zoloft for two weeks also just started it and I’m only taking 25 mg a day don’t feel much different mentally but have experienced leg twitches RSL. I sympathize with your health issues I’ve been there done that. Google is a double edge ⚔️ sword. I hope you can find some peace soon. ☮️

[Hidden in reply to a_work_in_progress]

Hey thanks for your response! I’ve been feeling so distant and sad that it’s nice to talk.

I know I’m definitely going to. She was so dismissive. I’ll be on two weeks tomorrow, also taking 25mg. I guess they effect us all differently, though I wonder how much of this is the anxiety? Gah! Google IS a double edged sword. it leaves me needing many bandaids, haha!

[Mongea in reply to Hidden]

My therapist banned me from google. It’s no longer on my phone and my husband gets to squirt me with a water bottle when he catches me trying to get on the kids electronics! 😉

[Hidden in reply to Mongea]

Omg I just read that to my boyfriend and he cracked up!! He banned me from google hahahahaha

[Indigojoe]

There are many good posts to re assure you in the archives.

Put Health Anxiety up into the search bar, pop some popcorn and sit back and relax.

When you read how many of us have walked this path, you will see that you are not alone, and you might calm down a bit after tonight.

[Hidden in reply to Indigojoe]

Aw thanks so much I’ll try that.

[Brifish]

Everyone reacts to medicine differently. Do not trust the internet with anything. Trust your doctors, they have experience. If they tell you your healthy, you are healthy, remember this and tell yourself this often. Health Anxiety feeds off of your feelings so if your feeling bad it will be strong. That's why you have the thoughts popping into your head. Just remember, this is not perminent. Let the meds work! Give it time. You will be 👌

[Hidden in reply to Brifish]

You’re right. I’ve seen so many doctors and they’ve all said I’m fine and it’s anxiety. I’m just so afraid they missed something. I feel so weird lately from Zoloft and anxiety that I worry it’s something really bad!

[Brifish]

I just recently upped my dose of Effexor and I'm susceptible to side effects, seems like all of them and it sucks. But I also know that there's a day where that starts to subside and you feel better and you can function. Its unlikely that they have missed something this day in age. Unfortunately when you start Anxiety drugs they tend to give you more Anxiety at first until your mind/ body adjusts. It's just Anxiety! Nothing more. I know its hard, trust me, I know all too well. Good luck,give it time and you will feel better soon!

[Hidden in reply to Brifish]

Thanks so much for that Being so hyperaware of the body already really makes me notice the effects of Zoloft. It’s crazy! Thanks so much

[Mongea]

I really haven’t felt that fantastic in Zoloft. I started at 25 mg and I’m now at 150. I definitely don’t feel like myself on it most days. My appetite has improved, my energy levels are up, I’m able to function and take care of my children, husband, etc but it makes me feel different. My therapist says that’s the point! However, I want to feel like my ‘old’ self. I’ve realized that maybe this situation I’m in is an awakening of sorts. For me, the meds aren’t meant to be the only answer, but a gateway to change and empowerment.

[Hidden in reply to Mongea]

This hit the nail on the head. I certainly don’t miss the panic. I definitely like being able to eat again (my anxiety killed my appetite). But yeah, I feel like my vibe now is grey, vs the purple it used to be! Do you know how long they want you on it?

When you upped your dosage was it cuz it wasn’t working?

[Mongea in reply to Hidden]

My appetite was the first thing to come back. I had lost around 15 lbs in just over a month, so for that I am very grateful! I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder after medical trauma from a hysterectomy in October. This is all new to me at the age of 41...the psychiatrists say a year but I’m not completely sold on that idea. Like I mentioned, I don’t feel the same spunk I used to while on the medication. I also experience dry eye and loss of libido. 🙄 I’ve started doing acupuncture, yoga, and I see my therapist twice a week with a goal of being able to get off sooner. The doctors continued to up my dose because my symptoms persisted. Honestly, the last dose change I was probably getting a little greedy. Wanting all my symptoms gone and have my days look perfect. I know now that that’s unrealistic at this stage. Even on 150, I have breakthrough anxiety and have to put in the time and energy to get the results I’m looking for. Hang in there, I promise things will continue to get better!

[Hidden in reply to Mongea]

Oh god! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that! I have GAD and panic disorder, too. It’s crazy. My appetite was the first to return, too. I lost 5lbs in one week and like 10 in total.. just started to work my way back up

Ugh that sucks!! The loss of libido I’m starting to get familiar with. I’ve always had dry eye so it’s hard to say. Therapy is the best you can do! My doc told me I need to learn to reassure myself.. he’s right. It’s hard!

We’ll get through it Feel free to message me if you ever need anything

[Csprecker]

I tried Zoloft for 3 months & it didnt work for me, I am now on Paxil & it seems to be the one for me, you might ask about it! Some people it just takes longer to get into your system, hang in there!

[Hidden in reply to Csprecker]

Thanks so much I’ve heard of people asking about beta blockers, too. I didn’t go off of it because the pharmacist said not to stop cold turkey but we’ll see.

[Hidden]

Hey I can be wrong but it sounds like you’ve had these symptoms before you started the Zoloft and now are scared the Zoloft is doing it to you.. you need to remember you had all those tests done and memepry tests done bc you thought something was wrong and the reason you started the Zoloft right?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah true I definitely experience depersonalization more now but those issues were there before. I need to get better at trusting doctors but the Internet is a great place to fuel the fear of “what if they missed something?”

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I know it stinks

[Dperez1223]

All that you have said is true I feel like I have ms been tested I feel like I have something dr says I’m ok but I’m just more anxious not on medication

[Hidden in reply to Dperez1223]

Yeah I feel you it’s terrifying! But we gotta trust the doctor

[cortisolqueen in reply to Dperez1223]

Me too!

[Hidden in reply to Dperez1223]

Also I thought I had MS too and I didn’t. What will reassure you that you don’t have it?

[Dperez1223 in reply to Hidden]

Idk I try not to think about but it always comes to my mind plus other sickness my anxiety is based on all the bad stuff that can happen to me

[Hidden in reply to Dperez1223]

I totally understand!!! Please message me if you need to talk

[cortisolqueen]

I am so sorry that another human being is suffering from health anxiety. I too have been suffering for 3 1/2 years now. It all started with a bout of vertigo and then a round of prednisone that sent me into a panic like I have never experienced. I went to the ER 10 times that first year, each time I truly thought I was dying. I have had every test known to mankind done and all were normal except I did find out I have celiacs disease. Otherwise I am perfectly healthy except for my mind. It is truly debilitating and I would not wish it on any one. No one can even begin to understand the fear we feel unless they have suffered with it themselves. I have diagnosed myself with every disease out there. I wish I knew how to help you but obviously I don't know myself.

[Hidden in reply to cortisolqueen]

It is debilitating!!! I went to the ER 2x. I feel so bad that there are others out there but I’m glad I’m not alone. It’s so hard. Please message me if you need anything. Celiacs is hard! My best friend has it!

[Dperez1223 in reply to cortisolqueen]

I understand you I go to hospital and after to every dr I can think of

[cortisolqueen in reply to Dperez1223]

bless your heart. This is so hard to deal with. We search and search for answers and then never believe the doctors when they tell us we are okay. I am here for anyone who needs to talk.

[Dperez1223 in reply to cortisolqueen]

Yes have you ever experienced like a bengay sensation all over body

[Hidden in reply to Dperez1223]

Yes I have. I have a prickly, hot feeling go from my neck, to upper left back, down my spine. Legit thought it was MS.. it was so scary. I promise the neurologists would know!!!

[Hidden in reply to cortisolqueen]

Thank you, friend

[Vectron]

You will always get start up anxiety when starting any SSRI it’s common, your doctor should give you a packet of Activan to take until they kick in