Anyone out there who can relate and help me through this terrifying time?

[Delmaria111]

I habe been struggling with horrific anxiety for years and formed a dependence on the opiod medicine tramadol. I am now weaning off that med and I am terrified. I am on seroquel XR and that helps the depression/thoughts of suicide but dealing with such severe anxiety while waiting for a new med is almost impossible. It feels like there are butterflies made of metal cutting up my heart. I just started busiprone (spelling?) and am praying that it will work. I have valium to help me wean off the tramadol but even that only helps for a moment. I just started trying to exercise every day and I play video games to keep myself occupied. The chest pain and mental anguish is so much though and I think I need others to talk to who are going through something similar. I know there is hope but it doesn't feel like it. My life is a mess, too, which doesn't help. It feels like I'm having a panic attack 24/7 and I'm barely hanging in there. If anyone wants to be friends and talk about this kind of disorder, please, PLEASE reach out to me. I'm desperate and terrified! I'm wondering if there are skills or coping mechanisms that I have not tried yet. Anything... Thank you all...i look forward to hearing from someone

[Indigojoe]

HI Delmaria, You are very well versed in both your condition and the medications you are taking.

Since you are such a reliable source of information, and very intelligent, may I suggest that you speak with a therapist, or a physician who could match your passion for answers.

As for virtual reassurance, I always suggest a hot shower, fresh comfy clothes, and hot tea with A LOT of honey. Start there and see how you feel. IF you get some relief, you can buy time and relax a bit. IF you don't get any relief, consider reaching out to medical folks for some reassurance.

Either way, you can be confident that you are competent and capable of handling what you need to handle.

Be Well.

[Sasical]

Hi Delmaria

I know what you are going through because I went through the same. I gave up benzodiazepines after taking them for 12 years. It was horrific. I tried to do it by just tappering but I was in such a state that in the end they had to put me on antidepressants and gabapentin which really help. Have you got any family or friends who can help you? Any addiction groups nearby? You just have to keep reminding yourself that it will pass, because it does, you will NOT be like this forever. Keep reminding yourself of this.

[Kkimm]

Hi Delmaria

My heart goes out to you. I certainly have experienced severe anxiety and am diagnosed with GAD. It really must compound the problems to have an addiction to an opioid to cope with as well. I have no experience of this but have read how horrible it can be. I believe you need to tail off very gradually and that sometimes another drug such as a benzodiazapine can help.

I found the antidepressant Venlafaxine very effective for me.

I also used both running and outdoor swimming to help me during my worse period which was a year and a half ago.

I am now more or less fully recovered and am still on velafaxine 187.5 mg and will continue to take it for the time being. I never found benodiazapines helpful so although I was given diazepam I only took it a few times and it did not make much difference.

I think I started running because I felt so anxious I did not know what else to do with myself and could not bear to be in the house feeling both depressed and anxious with the hours passing so slowly. I never made much progress but have continued to do a short run 3 times a week to try to maintain fitness. As my only remaining symptom is breathlessness, this is difficult at the time but it is really effective for relieving anxiety due to the feel good chemicals it produces. I find I can rid myself of breathlessness for the rest of the day these days if I run.

I therefore think you have decided on something really useful in running or fast walking, which will certainly help your anxiety, if you keep it up.

My anxiety began out of the blue after 2 life traumas and was really terrifying with a short period when I could not be in a room on my own or leave the house without feeling very frightened. I do not think I experienced panic attacks but did have over whelming feelings of sickness and dread when I did anything I found particularly challenging.

I made sure I set myself little challenges everyday, irrespective of whether it created these feelings. I think is critical to recovery to do this then afterwards however bad you felt give yourself a pat on the back as you have done really well and a reward of doing something easier such as watching TV with a cup of hot chocolate etc.

I have also learned to completely ignore symptoms and not to be afraid of them. This is easier said than done so I do sympathise if you struggle with this. The approach is covered well by author Claire Weekes.

When I first started to run I was afraid it may make my constantly pounding heart get even worse but this did not happen. Equally I did not get relief of symptoms like I do now from running but it definitely helped in the long run, no pun intended.

The swimming was in the sea from a nearby beach and it got so that I barely noticed the water was cold and went in even on quite stormy rainy days. I became ill in June so I had the whole summer to swim and kept going until the end of September. Unlike running I always found swimming gave instant relief from anxiety and symptoms. Cold water is known to relieve anxiety. I got so that I could swim about a mile along the coast, always parallel to the shore so there was no danger involved. I knew the currents on my local beach and there are no rip tides etc.

I was also helped by borrowing a dog through the Borrow my doggie website. The love, companionship and excercise this gave me worked wonders. I also found the owners were very grateful and showed this with little presents etc so that also helped. We took one 🐕 a yellow Labrador on a weeks holiday with us and this was wonderful in helping my anxiety. I was so anxious when first arriving at the holiday cottage but the dog who was so excited and happy, helped me to feel better and it proved to be a lovely experience in which I suffered very little anxiety for the whole week. This was about 8 months into my recovery.

You are very welcome to keep writing to me if it will help. I would love to hear how you are getting on.

Very best wishes.

Kim

[Careyon]

Im so sorry you’re going through this. Weaning from the opioid dependency has got to be hard. However it seems you’re doing al the right things. You have Drs who are monitoring your situation and you’re exercising and trying to stay busy. Keep up the good work. I would also suggest talking to God more, prayer. Personally, It helps me to petition the ultimate healer. Message me if you would like to talk further. I can point your to some resources that will provide some guidance, strategies, hope.