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Anxiety Support
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What the hell is wrong with me!!!!

***long post alert***

I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so ill all the time. Doctors don’t believe me and I feel like there’s more to this than just anxiety. If you have time to read this and tell me what you think?

I’ve always suffered with anxiety, as a kid it affected me daily, then I had a few years when I was about 18 anxiety free. I started with loads of symptoms and after years I finally got diagnosed with endometriosis. Had surgery and later got pregnant.

After a traumatic labour I came home and felt more wiped out than ever, I couldn’t stand without feeling like I was going to pass out and got hit with the worst anxiety I’ve ever had. I had trouble adjusting to being a mum.

Since then I feel energy less every day and at certain times in the month I feel like I have the flu, like blood is being pulled to the bottom of my body, dizzy when I stand and my heart rate feels like it’s going really slow but hard. I get bad stomach, find it hard to eat (although I do). I’m in pain often from endometriosis. I get sores all over my tongue and hair loss. I’ve had tests which have come bk normal apart from the odd test coming back with something insignificant to doctors. Feeling like this has made me depressed, I find it hard to function which has also made anxiety spiral out of control.

I know for at least nearly two years I’ve been in a constant state of panic and I know it can take it’s toll on my body. My doctor feels everything is down to anxiety but something tells me it’s not. I’ve had cbt etc, and I get how anxiety works and what I need to practice doing to retrain my mind but find it impossible to do when I constantly feel ill, my life is drastically changing. I don’t see my friends, I don’t feel capable of looking after my child and I’m seriously at the end.

I’m debating antidepressants to see if how I feel is all anxiety but can’t bring myself to take them, I’m petrified of them! I’ve got to do something though as I have to live and look after my child. This doesn’t feel like life, it feels like hell.

What would you do? Xxxx

41 Replies
oldestnewest

You should at least try the medication so you can check it off of the list. If it doesn't help, doctors can move forward with your treatment and if it does, that would be the best news ever, you can't go wrong. Check it out:)

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Perhaps check diet and natural forms for depression before taking pharmaceuticals as that can only cover up underlying causes in the nervous system and within the body.

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Hey!!

Well to start with literally I could have written your post!!if you ever get a chance have a look at my page.

You are not alone in these feelings.i feel like hell every minute of every hour of every day.i too have seen many doctors,been to hospital etc etc and they all say severe anxiety/stress.

It’s so so disheartening to hear this when you feel so unwell.

I also have two young children,my eldest I can’t even take to school(I’m housebound).my partner has had to quit an amazing job to stay home and help me as most days I can’t get up off the sofa.

I’ve tried tablets,had cbt, read books and nothing seems to help..it’s exhausting.

I don’t have any help to give you as I’m in the same boat,mine also started badly after the birth of my first child.like I can’t even remember me before that.its horrible.

If you ever want to chat just message me.nice to know your not alone xxx

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I don't know how long ago you had your child but is it possible you are suffering from post partum depression? x

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My doctor has questioned it months ago but it was just passing comment by her. I saw a psychologist and he said he doesn’t believe in postpartum depression only adjustment issues? I’m complicated I think as I had existing anxiety before having my 21 month old daughter and I have endometriosis(that causes a lot of issues) so I don’t know. X

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Well just because he doesn't believe in it doesn't mean it is non existant and been very well documented for many years. Of course he will never carry a child and I think he would change his mind if he could! Have a change of therapist? x

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So agree, these professionals who debunk widely researched and accepted conditions and deny such exist and use new speak like 'adjustment issues' cause real damage.

Every new mum will have adjustment issues but that is not a condition, it is life with a new baby, small child. I would think PND because if you have had anxiety before having a baby it is likely that will be one of the major symptoms in PND.

I think it best to go to see a psychiatrist and follow the medical model and see how that goes, you can stop the meds at anytime but best give them a chance. It is true Amber, you are in hell and there are ways to get out but you need to go with the flow and try some different ways.

Once I stopped fighting my anxiety it eventually disappeared I was taking anti-anxiety meds also though but if it is PND you are going to need some meds to get through that, It does exist, it is very real and it feels like you are in hell and you owe it to you to get your life back.

I know some people do not agree with meds but those people are not living through what you are. If you had diabetes or seizures you would have to take meds. PND is a recognised condition in the DSM and there is recognised courses of treatment. I wish you all the best.

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I thought the same when he said that. Other than that comment though, he was really good I thought. I asked if I had health anxiety and is that what is wrong with me and he said he doesn’t feel it’s health anxiety. I finished therapy with him recently.

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Before you decide to add medicine, why not go to a good mental health counselor to see if your nervous system is working well, to track traumas from your past, as I know, for a fact that these affected my health my entire life. Doctors know our traumas affect our organs. I had endometriosis as well, a long series of issues, but on the other side it was my polyvagal vagus nerves were the culprit. It is hard, long work but well worth it.

If meds are needed perhaps a homeopathic remedy for awhile. I like Ignatia or my fav, Tyrosine. Natural ways serve me well. Pharmaceuticals often can turn off the nervous system but also can help moods when diving.

That is really your decisions, but I would try the natural forms first. Read Study Guide to Polyvagal Thesory by Stephen Porges. Also, PBS by Daniel Amen or read his book on Change your Brain, Change you life.

Have they checked your hormones? Perhaps that might be of help and a doc who truly listens. Good luck with your baby and happy mothering. You both deserve the best.

Getting out is imperative for you to get back to a normal life that you enjoyed. Share sitters or have a friend go out with you at least for tea or a walk. Nature always has a good affect on anxiety for brief walks. EMDR uses walking as a affective way to handle anxiety and depression.

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What kinds of symptoms. I was in a constant state of panic....always had my mom take my pulse. Many ER visits....lost 35lbs in 3 or so months.....constant heart racing..... I finally had to go inpatient. That was at age 18 in 2004

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Hi Amber (and Minnie also).

I feel so sad for you both. I suffered what I believe were equally severe symptoms of anxiety after a couple of life traumas but my daughter is grown up and probably around your age. One thing that kept me going was the support of my daughter. I always felt so relieved it had not happened when she was young. It must be so hard to try to parent when you are so ill. You feel so isolated, never let anyone make you think you are lazy or it is just in your mind therefore you ought to be able to control it. The symptoms are fully real and very, very incapacitating. It is all the harder because no one else understands when they have not experienced anxiety and depression.

Amber, firstly I think someone asked if it could be post natal depression or post partum psychosis. Has that been checked out for you? It would also need treatment by drugs I think if it is that but it is very treatable. Your GP or psychologist may have ruled it out however.

If that is fully ruled out I would say I think it is very hard to conquer what you are both feeling without the help of antidepressants. The first few weeks of taking them were very hard but then they did miracles for me. I went from not being able to leave the house , at times not even wanting to be in a room without my partner, to going on a really challenging wildlife holiday in Sri Lanka and enjoying it fully , 4 months ago.

You will be able to turn your life around but you need to take little steps at a time and not be afraid of your symptoms. Do everything despite them and each time you do tell yourself how well you have done. If you feel able to take antidepressants the one I found really great was Venlafaxine. I have also read quite alot of posts on other websites that people with severe anxiety have tried many meds and this has been the only one that has worked. You can take a benodiazapine such as diazepam along side it at first. I think the reason it works is because it is very powerful. My GP who also suffered from anxiety took it himself and found it really effective. This also means that the first few weeks of taking it are very tough, it increases your anxiety for a while but can also give the odd day of euphoria which did help me to hang on in there. You have to keep taking them no matter what you go through and it will definitely start to improve. In my case it took two dose increases and 4 months to really turn my life around and feel like myself again. I am now on 187.5 mm and have no intention of stopping any time soon. This was crucial to my recovery, alongside forcing myself to take a new challenge each day. I would have bad and good days for about 6 months then full recovery came around 1 year in. I now have just a bit of breathlessness in the mornings which I ignore and can certainly live with. The quality of life is now great for me and I would so wish the same could be achieved for you both.

It must be so hard to live with anxiety when you have little ones to take care of. You both have my great admiration!

Do think about antidepressants as I think it is incredibly hard to do it without when you have severe anxiety although some do.

My very best wishes to you both, I know you can do it.

Kim

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Excellent post Kim and I fully concur (you've saved me a lot of typing !!). Your advice about trying to make small, incremental changes and taking appropriate medication as required is absolutely correct. For some of us medication is a necessity, but it should be regularly reviewed.

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Thanks Sebastian, I think an antidepressant is a necessity when you have severe depression for most people. It should never be seen as a weakness or a sign of failure to take it. It is a shame that it is often portrayed in this way by some health professionals and in the media at times.

I am interested to hear if you have had anxiety and are now in recovery. Do you have any remaining symptoms at all?

I am wondering if my final remaining symptoms will disappear and when. I am aware my body is still over producing stress hormones but this does not make me anxious, just a bit breathless and out of sorts, particularly in the morning. If you are fully over your anxiety and no longer over producing stress hormones how long did it take to reach this point ? How long did your first attack of severe anxiety last?

It is largely just a bit of breathlessness which I can ignore but can be unpleasant. I do not think I am a worrier and was always optimistic and managed stress well before becoming ill. My GAD came on very suddenly after a particularly severe trauma. I had never had anxiety before that.

Various people including health professionals tell me CBT would be useful and may be needed before my anxiety comes to an end but I cannot see that as I do not worry much at all, certainly less than the average person even when I had a very stressful and challenging job. What is your view on the value of psychodynamic therapy to look at past trauma, can it help with anxiety?

Be great to get an answer from yourself or anyone else at this recovery phase who has some advice to offer.

Kim.

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Thank you for your reply Kim. To be honest, I think I have suffered from anxiety all my life (I am in my 60s now). To the outside world I think I would be perceived as confident, extrovert and successful and, in many respects, that is correct. However, privately I have struggled, and, probably (but for my own misconceptions about mental health) would have benefitted from counselling and other support a long time ago (I have found CBT useful). I accept that I am and always will be 'an anxious person' and try to manage it, so that it does not unduly impair the quality of my life, as I would any other illness or disability. I think it is wonderful that more people now are open about mental health issues and that there is more support available and more understanding, although there is still a long way to go. I am reluctant to give 'advice' on this issue, as everyone's experience is unique and I am not qualified. However, I would say to anyone, always be open-minded, always reflect and seek to develop and improve physically, mentally and spiritually, and always try to retain hope. We cannot control events, but we may, with practice and support, be able to better exercise some control over how we respond to events.

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Thank you Kim, It is really hard. I’ve been thinking hard about anti depressants but actually think it’s a full blown phobia of them now. I’m getting closer to taking them and reading your post has helped xxx

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Hi Amber.

It is really hard I understand. It is a big step to take for anyone. It is also so much harder because of the fact that you have anxiety. It is worth taking a benzodiazapine along side as that will reduce the anxiety.

Really good luck

Kim

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Ok lissen

I think the same

But sorry don't misunderstand me

When the anxiety stay

And you think there is more

No believe me

I ask my therapist and he told me no

It's your thoughts

So I think that you really must have some meds the calm down your mind 💗

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Please check your thyroid and parathyroid along with calcium phosphorus and magnesium and revert back to me. These are all blood tests

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hi so sorry to hear that your feeling so ill perhaps your deficient in iron and if you are your energy and immune system,plus oxygen levels ,its amazing how low you can feel and of course the anxiety will spiral out of control since your body is out of sorts.hoping to hear your feeling better soon!

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Amber I am the same as you minus the endemetriosis... had anxiety gave birth to my 17 month old and feel ill and nervous every day... I’ve had all blood tests been to several

Drs and had an mri of my head .. nothing .. deep inside I know this is anxiety

Bc so many people are dealing with the same but it’s hard to except ... I’m going to have to try meds since that’s really what only seems to work and help so many .. if you have Facebook there’s this page called postpartum anxiety support group and there’s so many ladies going through this and it helps a ton!

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Hi Amber, just like Minnie I can totally relate to what you re describing. I could ve written your post. Only difference is my heart goes to fast. I m in my 50s now but at 30 I had my 3rd child, traumatic birth, was in hospital for weeks and discharged with still a very poor blood count. 1week later I had my first panic attack, at least that s what they called it. Years later I found out I had been misdiagnosed and it was actually post partum depression together with weakness from low blood count. But their diagnosis brought on a long suffering from severe anxiety and panic. After a few years with talk therapy I started doing things again, leaving the house etc. Now, almost 30 years later, I m back to anxiety. It is a constant battle, anxiety 24/7 with palpitations. It is so limiting my life. No travelling, no shopping without hubs, the tiniest bit can bring on panic. As if I was totally out of balance, standing on a cliff edge and storm force winds trying to blow me off the edge. A loud sound, a bit of criticism, bad news on telli... all that can make my heart race and the horrible feelings in my stomach start again. My skin is bad, hair loss, you name it and I can t take much more. But, there is always another day, another ray of hope and sunshine. I have decided against antidepressants because the first one didn t agree with me and I had bad side effects. But I m also very aware of any sensations in my body so maybe I just imagined it. But you can give it a try and see, maybe it works for you. Meditation, progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing are the first options to go for. Give it time, especially mindfulness meditation needs time to work. I get at least some sort of relief. Otherwise:talk and don t give up. Most importantly :don t, beat yourself up about it and feel guilty. I can read between the lines that you re feeling guilty... not being a good mother etc. DON T, JUST DON T. Your child loves you as you love your child. And you do whatever you can. It ll be better one day? If you re feeling really bad distract yourself maybe by writing short stories for your child. Read them at bedtime. hugs xx

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Guilt......definitely a big issue with me. I tell myself all the time not to think that but when I’m at home fighting not to lose it and look at her little face , it makes me cry. I want the world for her and feel like I’m not giving her what she deserves xxxx

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I had my first bad time when my kids were 3and a half, 2 and the third 2 weeks old. I felt like losing it and lkke'not really being there '. But I did all I could at that time. My kids grew up and are fine:-) You need' me-time' too. Look after yourself so you can look after your little sunshine. I tried antidepressants but couldn t cope with side effects, not then, not now. I have a big time out every day for things I like, meditation or relaxation. It helps, but it s not a cure. CBT and counselling are OK for me. Please keep in touch on here and talk whenever you need us

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I’m the same, doing everything I can. She is what pushes me to even live. What side effects made it so u couldn’t cope and how many times did u try them? X

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I have anxiety and panic, main physical symptom racing heart. I started on Prothiaden 25mg, when I was on the low maintenance dose of 75mg(after4 weeks) my symptoms worsened. Non-stop panic attacks.... Well, one over 2 weeks and rapid heart beat. I decided against any other antidepressant since I read so much about a worsening of symptoms during the first weeks. I just cannot imagine myself suffering over weeks hoping to get better to maybe find out I have to try another one. Instead I made big changes: quit tea and coffee, quit sugar (bad for anxiety), no alcohol, more fruit and veg, writing a diary, keeping busy with nice things, 1hr me-time per day. I write short stories for my grand children. I m not a writer but for them I m thinking of positive, funny and beautiful stories, very short. I read them to them when they are here. It keeps me busy in a very positive way and is so rewarding. It also make me feel proud

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Check your thyroid and vitamin levels.

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I am overwhelmed by all your replies, thank you so much 😘

I don’t know where to start with replies.

Being honest apart from meds, I have tried what I feel is everything. I had therapy with 3 different therapists in the last few years. I have had thyroid tests twice, my iron, folate, ferritin all in the middle of ranges, b12 was a bit low but have been supplementing with methylcolobamin b12. I recently had a ANA antibodies test done privately which came back as a weak positive but I’ve read this can happen in healthy individuals. I’ve been to a specialist PMS clinic for my hormones as it’s at both period and ovulation I feel so much worse. Personally I don’t feel they can get a proper picture of your hormones by 1 blood test but that’s what I had and I don’t “fit” with the normal PMS criteria.

Despite feeling like this I know I need to try to keep doing my normal activities so I go food shopping, take a walk at least every other day, occasionally meditate, take my daughter to the park etc. This is why I feel I’m doing everything I can but not by bit I’m able to do less and less. It’s like I have the right mindset but despite battling I never feel better. I’m frustrated, angry, sad, and now only do what I have to but it’s so hard, so although I still do things I struggle really bad and end up crying or panicking.

I think antidepressants may help but I just look at the pack and can’t do it, my main symptom is feeling so energy less and if the antidepressants make that any worse I’m scared that will be it x

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Hi if it's the side effects which worry you then you wouldn't take anything even paracetomol for headache if you think too much about them. It is common to feel worse for a while until meds kick in but at least you have hope that they will help. Hope is greatly underestimated. x

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It’s definitely the side effects that scare me, I just don’t feel like I could handle feeling any worse and I’m scared I won’t cope if I do feel worse in the beginning. Think I’m my own worst enemy. Feel ill think myself into side effects if you know what I mean x

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Well do you take over the counter meds? Like I said they all have side effects. The vast majority only get the common ones which is they are listed as common. Why should you get any of the more severe ones? It would be a pity to discount them if they could help you.

Why arrange to someone to be with you when you take your first one? Then if anything does happen you would have help. x

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OMG this is me I’m of balance all the time feel like I’m drunk day and night never feel normal I get so fatigue if I eat to it’s horrible and the doctors say it’s aniexy but feel like I’m going to just die I don’t believe them

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What do you mean if you eat

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Antidepressants...worth a try, changed my life...wish you well

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Hello Amber, i have the same condition as you, you’re not alone. And i’m glad to find all these people in the comments talking about this, this means i’m not crazy and i’ m not just imagining as they always tell me. The last anxiety attack was last Wednesday, after few weeks of stress. My body finally failed me, again. I’m in a very important phase of my life, i’m not married and i don’t have any children. I was unemployed for too long and finally i got a job, well almost, as i have to go through a formation first, and it’s very stressful and exhausting. After being in bed, comfortable, laying down whenever i feel the anxiety coming, now i have to face life. But my body is failing me. I too, think this is more than just anxiety, but everytime i do a blood test or go to a doctor they’ll find nothing. Antidepressants, and even antipsychotics were suggested by the doctor, but i can’t take them as you said. I can’t, i’ m afraid to get dependant, and the side effects, well most of them are the same syptoms i have now and i can’t take anymore of this! Idk how this will end but i’m fighting, even with the little power that i have. I’m going out, even though i feel tired even though i feel like i’m gonna fall anytime, even though i feel weird in uncomfortable in my own body. I fight and i hope i’ll get through this, good luck to you too ❤️

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Bless you .. I’m reaching out .. don’t fear medication it sounds like at the moment it may be the answer.. I feared for ages ( back in the day ) now I know that medication, Claire weeks books and my family are the reason I’m still here .. if all tests are coming back normal or inconclusive.. you must try to believe it. Anything else would show up. Anxiety can cause the most immense symptoms it can trick you into believing you have the worst illnesses in the world.. it is the master of disguise and can masquerade as anything your poor tired mind thinks of ..

the only way through is to try hard to believe it’s nerves and anxiety and it cannot do any worse than it is now ... slowly if you keep saying this .. it will loose power..

It may never truly go but it is possible to keep the monster that is anxiety in check . You can do this !

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I have trouble believing it’s just anxiety as years ago before my endometriosis diagnosis I was in a similar position. Repeat visits to the doctors, being told it’s in my head then I pushed and got an operation that found in fact I did have something wrong, the Endo had stuck my bowel to my womb and was quite bad. I completely feel anxiety is at play, it’s just weird because if I don’t feel ill, my anxiety is well controlled and I’m happy and positive.

I need to at least try the meds like some people have suggested it may rule out what’s anxiety and what’s not......making myself take them going to be another battle 😕

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Forgive me if I'm repeating anyone as there is a lot of info others have contributed. It probably is more than one factor contributing to your issues. My intense anxiety for many years was the result of varied issues. Others have mentioned many of them: checking thyroid, B levels especially B12, folate and B6, check cortisone and hormone levels including estrogen and progesterone, check food intolerances. This one is tricky. You can try a food elimination diet. That didn't work for me as it turns out many of the foods on most of the food intolerant diets I actually had intolerances to. I ended up taking the ALCaT test which expensive and controversially, but it helped me a ton. After eliminating my food intolerances many flulike feelings went away along with huge mood swings. A gluten free diet has been shown to be helpful for Endrometriosis. Google it and see what you think. I discovered that gluten increased my anxiety and depression. Eliminating it has helped. As others have stated mindfulness and yoga can help. Along with pain often comes negative self talk and fear which then makes the anxiety worse and it spirals. Understandably you have no energy and probably little time for it being you are a mother. Try doing sleep hypnosis therapy. You pop on earphones and listen while you sleep. It rewires you brain and helps eliminate the negative self talk. YouTube has lots of free sessions. I listen to THOMAS Hall "sleep and depression," sleep hypnosis. I am a huge fan of his as listening to him has changed my life. It is just one component, but has given me the mental strength to search out the physical issues. Never doubt yourself. Most of us that experience anxiety are hyper in tune with our bodies or empathy where we pick up others energy which causes more anxiety. I hope you are able to figure out what's going on with you soon. You deserve happiness.

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Are you cold all the time? Have you had iron studies done?

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Hi Amber! It's been 10 years since I had my experience with my son but your story is very similar. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 32 weeks and at 35 had an emergency C Section when I developed HELLP syndrome and my organs started failing. I had no idea after that I would soon suffer from PTSD and Postpartum psychosis. I cried the whole way home. For weeks I wouldn't move. I wouldn't sleep to make sure he was breathing.. I even snapped and yelled at a 9 yr old bc I thought she would take my baby. My life was spiraling and I felt everyday like I would die. I found an amazing doctor who listened without judge!ent and the right meds have me my life back. Let me know if I have questioms!

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Antidessants nothing to be scared of.

Besides it could be the best decision you made in your whole like.

You can always stop the if you don’t feel like they are not helping

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Omg this is me I have all your symptoms I don’t believe this is aniexy inbox me a chat

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