Need a rant....husband.....loneliness and jaw pain 😞

[Ckd123]

So I’v had health anxiety going on almost four years now and for the most part my husband has been very supportive. Lately though he’s starting to get annoyed with me over it and it makes me feel like crap. He says I’m just starting to make up things now so I can go to the doctor, it is costing us a small fortune but I can’t help it.

Over the last 3/4 years I’v had a holter monitor twice, that’s an hours drive away to the hospital to get it fitted and another trip back the next day to get it off. I’v had a stress test, an endoscopy twice, several ekgs and blood tests, I’v been to ER numerous times, one resulting in an overnight stay where they did a CT scan of my brain. My last trip to the ER was three days ok when I got another chest pain, again they did bloods and a chest X-ray, all normal. Other times I’v spent in the hospital over the last 3 years that wasn’t anxiety related was to get my gallbladder removed and to have a baby.

I’v had jaw pain all day today and I’m so worried and panicked over it that I really want to go to the doctors again, it’s just with the trip to the ER three days ago, I’v already spent a couple of hundred quid so I’m afraid to bring it up to my husband, he’ll think I’m mad 😞

I just feel so alone at the moment and I’m so afraid over this jaw pain.

[eternalsunsh1ne]

I get jaw pain a lot and it worries me because I have health anxiety too, I have it right now! Try and calm your body down and see if it disappears or eases as you relax and take your mind off it. If you have had all those tests and everything was fine, try and trust and take comfort in that. I know it's hard. I hope you feel better soon xx

[Ckd123 in reply to eternalsunsh1ne]

Thanks for reply. I managed to calm down a bit and the pain has actually been gone for over an hour! It was kinda painful on and off all day though so it just got me worried. I hate health anxiety, it’s miserable, stressful and exhausting 😞 Christmas stress doesn’t help either and I have loved Christmas since my first child was born 14 years ago, I just wish I could relax and enjoy it again 🙄

[eternalsunsh1ne in reply to Ckd123]

That's good! Health anxiety is so exhausting and frustrating, I know how you feel

[Ckd123 in reply to eternalsunsh1ne]

Jaw pain back today 😩😩

[eternalsunsh1ne in reply to Ckd123]

I was in agony all last night because I had back and shoulder pain. Still really hurting now and it makes me feel sick. Got to keep pushing through though, trying to distract myself!

[Hidden]

sounds like you need a vacation. You’re pain is real and your husband should be supporting you, not making you feel guilty. maybe the jaw pain is from stress. I have jaw pain sometimes from unconsciously clenching it (stress) and the muscles start to hurt from the tension; you can try relaxing it by opening your mouth a bit and massaging it by digging into the muscles where it hinges or try a heat pack there. hope that helps and that you get better.

[Ckd123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for reply Katie! I agree my husband should be supporting me but I also understand that he has been for almost four years so is tired of it. I feel if he were like me id probably get annoyed with him from time to time too!!

I definitely need a vacation but I’m too anxious to take one 🙄

[Hidden in reply to Ckd123]

I get that. It can be emotionally exhausting to care for someone, I know because i’m a caregiver for my mom who’s disabled and it’s exhausting but I never dismiss her pain or blame her for it; I’ve been her caregiver for years. a goood vacation would help with that anxiety and you don’t travel far for a vacation. You could do a 1 or 2 day once a month or so.

[gggg123]

How do you think your husband feels about it !!. Having someone with mental issues is hard for people who don't and he has been VERY patient and supportive and probably doesn't trouble you with his life at all.

Maybe you should forget about you for a while and spend Christmas showing your husband how grateful you are for his support and understand it must be just as hard for him too and, he will feel just as lonely as you.

Just forget about your phantom illnesses for Xmas or at least try too.

Are you on any medication at all ?.

[Ckd123 in reply to gggg123]

Thanks for reply. I know your right and I wish so much I wasn’t like this, not just for me but for my husband and kids aswell.

I’m not on meditation at the moment apart from Xanax as needed. I’v started CBT and bought Claire Weakes ‘self help for your nerves’. I’m trying my best to do this without meds but I’m failing miserably 😞 I think in the new year I’ll have to give in and go back on something. My GP did prescribe me seroxat a few weeks ago but I googled them and am afraid to take them, they have had some very bad press.

[gggg123 in reply to Ckd123]

You have to step out of it all somewhere. Take a chance be brave. I had agrophobia an I'm now cured to about 95% and I did it by not listening to me. I wouldn't take pills either but I tried to remember a time when I wasn't afraid to take pills and tried to determine what had changed in me, nothing had I was just frightened and for no reason too, so I took it. Slowly I got better by pushing past it and having faith I'd be ok.

I'm not sure if you are in the UK or the US. But if you are in the UK and live close to a Home Bargains or anywhere that sells magnesium salts, go get some and put it in your bath because I think you're low in it and that can cause problems.

[Ckd123 in reply to gggg123]

Thank you, I’m in Ireland, I’ll look into the magnesium x

[cortisolqueen]

Bless your heart! I am so sorry you are going through this. It is exhausting. For the person who scolded you and told you to just forget about you... She would love nothing more than to forget about it and get back to normal. Hang in there, I understand just how you feel.

[Ckd123 in reply to cortisolqueen]

Thank you 😊😊

[cortisolqueen in reply to Ckd123]

I have had every symptom there is. Done the ER thing 10 times and had every test out there. Saw all kinds of doctors and everything is always normal. I must be the healthiest 60 year old woman in the country. But I totally understand where you are right now. Our minds can really do a number on us and trick us into thinking we have something terrible going on. It is very difficult to get a hold of it. I know and anyone who has suffered from this knows that if you could get over this you would.