I litterally almost died two days ago from a pulmonary embolism.... Just hitting me.

[Armyguy]

All these years i been worried about something killing me and something almost did kill me, a pulmonary embolism. Saturday i felt under the weather, walked to the mail box to get my mail and didnt feel quite right. Felt winded, took my heart ratw and it was 120 going up the driveway. I got in my car and knew something was really wrong but wasnt sure what to do so i decides to walk the drive way again to make sure it was still happening, this time i hit 130 bpm and i decided to go to the hospital....

At the hospital i didnt feel right at all, felt winded, my chest felt funny, then my EKG came back abnormal but unspecified, so that could mean anything but it had never happen to me prior. Doctor looks me over runs all heart blood work but a clot test and didnt find anything wrong and decided to discharge me. I end up going home, 40 min drive and on the way home i notice my heart racing and feeling funny. I go in the door and almost collapsed, i make it to my bed and lay down and fell asleep for 12 hours. When awoke i felt winded, heart hit 120 right upon standing, i felt like i was going pass out, felt like i was running a marathon winded but without running, i calmly went to my room grabbed my stuff and went to my car to go to the ER, on the way i had a few moments where i felt like i had stopped breathing, half way there my heart start thudding out of my chest, i was terrified, i pulled over in to the emergency lane and dialed 911, paramedics arrived and i could barely walk to the ambulance. While waiting to roll out to the hospital i was almost in a panic because they were just sitting there hooking electrodes on me, i felt like my time was running out.

They get me to the hospital the doctor loosk me over and the nurses i had seen before over SVT stuff seen me thought "O here we go again, anxiety and hes probably just sick." I could see it on their faces, doctor for some reason decided to run a d dimer and sure enough they after having a CT scan confirm it, i had a pulmonary embolism on my right lung. My heart sank, all of a sudden everyone in that er acted totally different, kept reassuring me and trying to get me to laugh and talk and that scared me because these same nurses scorned me over my heart arrythmia stuff just months prior. I been in the hospital since being discharged tomorrow. I will not lie i am afraid to return home to where this happened, im afraid that it will happen again, and this time i won't be so lucky, im afraid that i will die, and the anxiety in the hospital comes and goes like a ocean tide, there are moments where i forget what just happened but then a slight pinch in my chest or a flutter of my heart reminds me what happened. Im only 33, this stuff sucks, i want to just live my life. Anxiety is a odd thing, when i was told this is life threatening i didnt panic, i was just like o ok..... My psych doc warned me of this but i never believed him until this happened and i didnt panic. I had my mom and sister visit yesterday but out side of that been alone with my thoughts.

You all life is fucking short, this proves it, i find my self torn with anxiety, one side of me hates it and i am afraid to go home but then another side of me is just fed up with worrying about worrying. Just odd. Well regardless i have to move forward like it or not so there is no real choice but to move forward. You all take care.

[tamka38]

So your psych doctor told u it could happen?

[Armyguy in reply to tamka38]

No, he said we could and will die, he almost died and him telling me some advice kinda helped me and it was true. Anxiety kinda goes out the window when something is actually wrong. Its hard to explain unless you expirence it.

[tamka38 in reply to Armyguy]

U right how many days did u have to stay in the hospital? And could it happen again? That’s very scary.

[Armyguy in reply to tamka38]

Im still here, and ill get to go home tomorrow and yes it could, even on blood thinners, once you have one, you are at a higher chance or having another.

[tamka38 in reply to Armyguy]

· I wish you a quick recovery! Thoughtful prayers are being sent your way with the hopes that you will feel better soon.

Thinking of you during this time of illness, and praying you will find strength in the Lord and his never ending supply of

love. ... Prayer is the best medicine that doctors don't write prescriptions for.

Sending u a hug 🤗🙌🏾☀️

[Armyguy in reply to tamka38]

Thanks

[tamka38 in reply to Armyguy]

You’re welcome

[CaraF616]

Lots of love, stay strong xx

[Julie_z]

Sending you a virtual hug and wishing you a quick recovery. You got a second chance at life!!

[Armyguy in reply to Julie_z]

Thanks

[Calm_mama]

What an experience- So glad you are alright!

I know what you mean about the strange calm that comes when a true emergency arises. Just glad you are OK

[Indigojoe]

This is a really " deep" post for all of us I think.

First,

glad you got through it and can educate us about what you went through and your thoughts as it was happening.

Secondly,

May I suggest that before you get discharged you ask for a therapist who does EMDR therapy.

It is TRAUMA therapy and it is successfully used for { bombing incidents, or mass casualty, or good old fashioned situations that freak you out}, people who experience an event that is emotionally charged in a negative way, and it re programs the brain to reduce or eliminate the emotions that surround the event. SO the event looses it power over you.

With that said, the EMDR therapist will be able to reduce the emotionally backed part of your 2 day medical episode. When that is done, you will be able to go back home and the incident will be just an experience that you handled, handled well and knew exactly what to do, did it and got the help you needed.

On the, "THOUGHT FIRST, body second", train of thought.

Abraham HIcks has talked about manifesting your reality.

Could your thoughts create this blood clot because you have been so worried that you would get something like this, or did you randomly get a blood clot and?

Hows it going now Armyguy?

[Icanbeathis2016]

Wow!! Definitely something we can all think about. I think I can imagine what you mean when saying oddly when a true emergency strikes we have a layer of acceptance in us that is there. I'm so sorry you have to experience this. I hope and pray for a recovery and well wishes to you.

[Cibolagirl]

My sister had a filter placed in her leg where blood clots form. Worth looking into.

[Littlemissbedford]

Your right life is to short to be in a constant state of worry. Wishing you a speedy recovery x

[Darryl Partner]

Thanks for sharing. And good that you called 911 rather than driving yourself. Just as an FYI for others. Pulmonary embolisms are not caused by anxiety