Ghosted

[LibraryLove]

So a while back I was talking on here about being really excited about this new method of expressing my feelings - writing fiction. And it's been really great and I've have a lot of fun writing and getting a lot of emotional release writing it. It's also been helping me understand myself and today I think I just had a breakthrough.

Back when I was middle school I had this best friend - she was the only person I trusted back then. And there's this whole stigma around middle school friendships, that when you're that young you over react about friendships and relationships, which I think is why I never talked about how much she hurt me. She moved away at the start of seventh grade and we tried to keep in touch over the next couple of years until the summer going into high school she stopped reaching out completely. I was embarrassed that I was so upset about this "middle school" friendship so I never told anyone.

Now, at 26, I'm researching the psychological effects of being ghosted and every single one of them rings true with me. Being ghosted, according to Psychology Today, is considered the cruelest version of the silent treatment, and can lead to low self esteem, anxieties about getting into future relationships, inability to pick up social cues, and self doubt.

I'm trying to get into a relationship - I've always feared getting into one because I didn't want to be hurt again, and fearing that I wouldn't be able to pick myself back up again. I met a guy who is really sweet and we have a crazy amount in common. I just want to know if anyone has any tips on moving on from being ghosted?

[Lauriem4]

I've experienced this a few times with people I've liked it's a fear of mine also that it will happen again .But more often than not they always come back with some lame excuse and I just ignore them . I think the best attitude to have is try not to worry about them as they are usually people who are cowards and like control and more often than not it will happen again with them . I would never chase after people like this as that's what they want x

[LibraryLove in reply to Lauriem4]

I get in contact with her years later. She sort of gave me a very therapy trained response saying that she pushed a lot of people away in her youth. I don't remember exactly what she said, but I just look back now and regret not saying something. I told her it was okay, when I knew what she did wasn't okay to me. The articles I've read have said that people who ghosts are emotional cowards because rather than deal with the other person's emotions, they just leave all together. I really hope it'll work out between me and this new guy I started to see.

[Finglas-Boy]

Pull yer wellies on & jump in with both feet! Just go for it LibraryLove. It worked for me!