Log in
Anxiety Support
40,817 members42,821 posts

Not such a happy birthday

Hey guys just want to start by saying thanks to everyone on here that wished me a happy birthday today. :-)

Was having a fairly good day up until about 10 mins ago when I got a text of my ex. She was just saying happy birthday, but it was like a punch in the stomach and all the emotions came flooding back. Now I'm in a terrible bloody mood. The knot is back somewhere between my stomach and chest if that makes sense. How can getting one birthday message from someone cause this much damage.

Was hoping I'd make it through at least today feeling fairly good, but obviously I'm not even going to get that. Why does loving someone has to hurt so much. Really was hoping to put a positive blog in here today so sorry for not being able to.

Here's to being 30 and alone.

37 Replies

Today was always going to be difficult , First Birthdays etc always are & I think you as like you said were doing very well

I really wished she hadn't sent you a message ,even though it may have been sent with good intentions

I think most of us or a lot of us on here will recall a Birthday that was painful , for one reason or another & I no this sounds crap , but next Birthday will be a lot better , not that this helps you now )

30 & alone ,maybe for now , but not for ever , you are still so young , gosh , wish I was 30 & knew what I knew now (again no help maybe ) but true

I no I am married , but I have had my ups & downs with relationships back in the day )

One thing I have learnt is , yes its nice to be loved & share things with someone , but it doesn't make things complete , I have to learn to love myself , as even with a partner , they may not always be around for one reason or another

Also relationships can be one of the hardest things in life , as well as the positives they can be hard work

Get out there & be 30 , enjoy yourself as much as you can , while you can , you wont get these years back , believe me

OK sounding like your mother now & you will be wanting to tell me to shut up , because I don't no how you feel :-D but I do & that is why I am saying it

Yes Love does hurt , but with time it will heal & you will move on , I promise you that , this wont be forever

I cant take your pain away , only time will do that , but we are all here , to help & listen while you get there & you will ;-)



Do you want a song after I have had my tea , it will be for free & you can request :p


As always thank you. I know he sent it with good will it just brought back how much I'm missing her and how much I'm still in love with her. Your not going on and your just giving me advise from your own personal experiences which is something I will always listen to. I'm such a contradiction when it comes to relationships shy an self conscious when I'm alone, but when I'm with someone it's like I'm the complete opposite if that makes any sort of sense.

What sort of music can I choose from?



Course anything you feel makes sense their your feelings but you will get through this & one day you will think back & think why did I let her get me down

OK on a brighter note songs

As long as I no it I will sing it :-D

Please take into account my age though & no head banging stuff because of my migraine

Other than that you can choose what you want :-D



Ahh but I don't know your age lol.

How about a bit of the jam?

1 like

Before my time , try again :-D



If I know the jam you've got to.

Green day the foo fighters lol


add 20 on to your age :p


That's not to bad :-)

How was your tea?


Its not that good

We had sausage & bangers

Very nice

And you anything nice

Why are you not going out tonight ?



50 is the new 40 :-D

Chicken pie cooked by my sis with new potatoes and veg.

Work tomorrow so got to behave sadly


Well I am waiting then Will , cant see much happening yet :-D this new 50 lol

Bless you sis , what a lovely sis

You are a good Willy then if you are been good cos you no you have work :-)

You have some days of to look forward to



What ya waiting for? :-)

Yeah bless her the pain in the ass lol

Yeah I keep telling you I'm a good boy lol. You half day tomorrow then 6 days off. Can't wait. :-D

I'll be able to annoy you lot all day haha


I am waiting for something good to happen or feel wonderful cos I didn't at 40 & it don't feel better at 50 either :-D

I cant come on after today for 6 days , that's a shame , I will miss you been annoying , never mind :p


Give it time :-)

Oh no who am I going to annoy if my friend whywhy isn't here? Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay? :-/ ha


erm let me think ?

I am sure t might be able to come up with something to tempt me ...leave me with it I will get back to you :-/



Ok don't be to long though


Why :-D

I am not as young as I used to be , this brain can take time you no :p

This could take me all day !

It needs a lot of thought;-)




I'm impatient lol and I'm sure your brain works fine.

I'm done now I'm home waiting to go for my physio appointment. 6 days off woo whoo


Well Mr Willie

You are going to have to learn to be patient :-D

I cant be rushed , this is a big thing , I have to get it right ;-)

What do you need physio for ?



Ok I'll be paitent I promise :-D

Problems with my knees got a consultation about having acupuncture on them.


Good Willie :-D

O dear sorry about your knees , how did that happen , did you have an injury

You don't have to say , I just ask questions :p



That's ok I dont't mind you asking. They've alway been bad got diagnosed with arthritis in both knee caps at 18 and now also got tendentious in both knees so yeah they're pretty knackered lol.


Sorry to hear that Will, but whywhy is totally right.............

I hope you feel some ease soon!!



Thanks Anne.

How you doing today?


Well I'm better for being at work to be honest Will.... So ok......

Im going to my friends for the weekend, so looking forward to getting away.......

My ex still occupys 80% of my mind...... but thats the way it is when you split up.... it will stop with time..... Just sick of wasting my time....... I dont want him to occupy my mind!!

What you gona do with your time off??



Think I'll be entertaining my niece on Thursday as she's off school. Friday I might go down the gym with my mate and work off some anger lol. Saturday think its dinner and a movie with a few friends then Sunday I'm gettin drunk with family and friends so hopefully ill be well looked after. Bank holiday Monday recovering and Tuesday got my first council inch session so I'm scared about that lol. I'm the same she is all I seem to think about.

What you doing at your friends?


Well that all sounds like fun.......... and I bet youre thinking 'yeah it would be if she was with me' right........Cos thats how I feel..... going through the motions really.............

I think I need to flush my head down the toilet.........

It was me who finished the relationship for gods sake, but its still crap... and I know I did it for the right reason,............

Anyway you try and have a nice time without her, and show her what shes missing.............

We havent actually made plans yet, it depends how knackered we are..... I live in Hull and she lives Lincoln way, going towards Gainsborough............. so its a really nice drive............

Hope you feel bit better tomorrow when its not your birthday!!



Yep that's exactly what I'm thinking. I know you finished things for the right reasons, but you still have feelings for him so it's hard. I'll try to show her :-/

Well whatever you do I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Yeah hopefully go a half day tomorrow because I'm off to the physio about havin some acupuncture


:-) xx


Aww Will, I'm so so sorry hun! Yeah, it sucks - and as you say, your ex may have sent it with the best intentions, but it does bring all the emotions flooding back! If its any consolation - know it's not the same thing - but I started Prozac on my 55th birthday - Happy ruddy Birthday indeed! :(

But you ARE young, love, I know you probably feel there will never be anyone else, but there will, there will!!! You're going through a really rough patch, but it will get better, honest! And, as Why says, a relationship isn't the answer to all our problems - we have to feel comfortable in ourselves as well! Make that your aim, Will, being the best willie you can (yes, I AM being naughty ;) ) - and the rest will come!!!

Thinking of you lots, keep blogging, we're here for you!

I don't know my jam from my garage (well, I thought you spread one and put the car in the other :-O ) - and I'm a bit uncertain about this track, but it makes me laugh every time,so I'm going to risk it - hope it helps and doesn't make you feel worse!

Lots of love and birthday hugs



Thanks rose.

I'm doing ok Just a bit emotional. I'll do my best at being the best willie I can (naughty naughty lol)

I will defiantly keep blogging you've got me for a while now.

I'm a bit eclectic when I comes to my music taste not really a garage fan though. Paul Weller was lead singer of the jam


You keep blogging, hun, we'd miss you if you stopped! :(

Yep, I'm being naughty ;) trying to make up for a not-mispent youth lol! :-D

Keep your chin up, mate, it'll get better!





I will don't you worry.

Tut tut are you trying to corrupt innocent ole me lol.


Yep! :-D xxxx


Oh well :-)

Best go get in the shower so ill be back in 10 ;-)


I'm just popping over the shop - yeah, i know, but i have a strange body clock these days - back a bit later! Take care, enjoy your shower!


Ha ha my singing is worse bring me back some chocolate lol


You may also like...