a single breath of fresh air

[xo_haili]

sometimes i smell the fresh air, or a certain smell & it takes me in a thought of when i wasn’t as agoraphobic as i am now. i miss feeling...alive. i miss being able to walk outside & looking at the sky & not feeling scared. i miss being able to go places with my mom. i miss being able to focus on other things other than how the sky is closing in on me or, am i going to stop breathing(i hyperventilate a lot). I will not let this be me forever. i want to be happy on the outside of my house again. i need & will feel a purpose again. It’s going on 3 years since i’ve allowed agoraphobia to completely take over me. THIS HAS TO STOP

[Hidden]

I completely understand. I miss the days when I wasn’t depending on medicine. I miss the days of leaving the house without feeling fear. I miss the woman I used to be who could find pleasure in just cleaning my house. I get it.

[gggg123]

I was agrophobic once, I'd be dammed if I were going to stay like that. I'd rather die having a huge panic attack than spend my days scared of the world. Fight it !.

[Dubba61]

Hello, you have my empathy. When I was young I had Agoraphobia for 4 years. N it is very difficult, to be rid of it. Finally bordem got the better of me, n I realized, the only way over it was to ' take the Bull by the horns' n just get out. I went on Holiday (pre-booked) so I couldn't back out. Managed that, then went back to College. Even now 30 years on, occasionally, I struggle to go out, especially if someone's said something to upset me. N I want to shut the world out. But, I force myself, outta the door. It won't beat me, again. Only you can do it. I hope you do. Good luck. 😊✌️🌻

[Aspergirl47]

Fully get u...I went out today to go to a certain shop I needed....half an hour away from home....I was a complete wreck ….I used to go to the same shops a few years ago with no intense fear ….My head is pounding and I feel so hopeless....sitting here wondering how it got this bad....I feel for u....keep trying...don't let it beat u... x

[Indigojoe in reply to Aspergirl47]

Great question. How did it get this bad?

What is your best guess?

SO many of us feel exactly like you do.........

[saturn2k]

Yes it has to stop and it can stop. I don't have agoraphobia but I did have a phobia about germs and about clouds for goodness sake ! Have you sought help ? Can you get your mum to go with you to the doctor ? Here we have to get a referral to Psychologist, you can't just ring them straight up. Your doctor should try to get you an appointment with a therapist who may see you first in your own home. Antidepressants are more effective than anti-anxiety drugs (which are meant for a limited time use). You may need to take AntiDepressants for a while.

My life was so limited but once my OCD and Panic/anxiety and PTSD were diagnosed, I can look back and see how strong I was and I kept doing the breathing exercises, and managed to change my self talk. I eventually stopped avoiding the triggers for an attack, the constant washing of hands, not looking up in case I saw a cloud. Oh it's just so exhausting.

I had always suffered from panic/anxiety/ocd. I am an abuse survivor. I had to try to revive my 30 year old husband after he collapsed after returning home from a business trip overseas. He had food poisoning and dehydration and nearly died. This was only a few short years ago. I just hadn't had peace in my brain since I was a child. I was very careful in making sure my next step was always a safe one. I took no risks.

What's really true about it all is that the avoiding of things takes more effort than if you actually went out and did it.

You will learn calming skills, visualisation skills, relaxation skills. It all may sound overwhelming for you now, but freedom is just through the next door. Please get some help. You don't have to go through this alone. I am not a doctor, but I have been there and I finally accepted that asking for help is not a weakness.

[Jeff1943]

xo_haili, say this to yourself from time to time: "I was agoraphobic once."

Your mind has sensed your anxiety and is trying to keep you safe by staying home and not going outside where dinosaurs and trogalodites could harm you. Your mind is trying to be helpful but it isn't as it has left you a prisoner in your own home. It doesn't know that the dinosaurs went ages ago and the trogalodites haven't been seen in centuries.

So it's safe to come out, xo_hail. There's a trusted saying "Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured." So what's not going to happen when you close the door behind you and head off for a walk round the local park. The sky isn't going to fall in on you. You aren't going to suffocate: your involuntary nervous system will make you breathe, it's impossible to hold your breath and die. And you aren't going to get to the park and realise that your legs have turned to jelly and you can't make it home because even jelly legs will carry you home.

What is going to happen is that you feel afraid but that's nothing new, just accept the bad feeling for the time being and do it anyway. As you head up the street just accept all the fearful thoughts and feelings, accept them and carry on: imagine you are being propelled along by some invisible force.

Why not give it a try? And remember to say to yourself "I was agoraphobic once".

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

Love that Jeff!!!!!!! Writing it down!!

[Jodi_S]

You have the right attitude in saying you will not let this be you forever. You can do this. Step out of your comfort zone as often as possible. You will realize nothing bad is going to happen and get stronger with ever little step. You got this. Anxiety will not win.