Hope you've all a nice weekend, weather has been miserable, but im a little strange, I enjoy the rain so much
Panic attack last night due to me and the mr arguing :-\ always the same these days even though I do more for him then his bloody mother did, I cant just stop, the mess he leaves everywhere would drive me mad! Anyway my routine gone out the window, watch this morning while ironing, already done breakfast pots, exercise, visual, while he sits on the bloody xbox again! supposed to be helping me. He can be so cruel, like last night having a panic attack, he goes what do you expect from me? a hug ha! while bottoming his game! im trying to make my life positive and he don't even make the effort :-\ makes me sad...
Anyway sorry for rambling, gets a bit lonely not having anyone to talk to, I miss my mum so much she would have made me feel so much better...
Guess just got to be strong and carry on, no man will ruin my efforts!!!!!
Wow what can I say but no wonders your feeling anxiety again you have my symphony I have stress but it's not my wife's fault I blame our dog who's a massive problem and people who don't pay and stress of running a biz
our dog can be a little madam too lol
I give up with my partner, abusive again and its all my fault, I think im leaving again, just anxiety doesn't need this stress
Hi
There is a saying , men swap their Mums for a wife !
Ermm sorry I am not saying men on here are like this , but I do believe to a certain degree lots of men can be , yours doesnt sound any different
How ever , it doesnt make it right !
I think over the years I have learnt you have to train them a bit like kids
I no with me having OCD , I find leaving mess very hard indeed , but I have gone on strike before & stopped picking up , I have stopped washing & ironing till they have run out of clothes & my main weapon as they cant cook , is I stop cooking ! that one works very well & gets them back into shape !
I no falling out can send your anxiety up but well done staying positive with your attitude , the stronger you get , the more you will start to feel & be able to set some rules , what you will & wont accept , but you get better first & that will follow
Love
whywhy
xxx
oh whywhy thankyou
im a bit torn at the moment, to leave or stay, mainly for my little boy, I said one more time of being abusive and im going to go, and there you have it. his family gang up on me its my fault all the time, I wont sit there taking this rubbish from a man when all I do is my best for him, I know I deserve better then to be told its because of me I get hit and don't feel sorry for myself I drove him to it, what because I asked him to come off his game :\ childish
I got out alone though today and made it farer so im proud of myself, he didn't even care id gone out, yet he gets its difficult for me
xxxxxx
in reply to
Wow
Hang on , I didnt realize he hit you !!!!!
Sorry this is not acceptable & I would get out !
I understand about your little boy , but do you want him to grow up as a boy thinking its OK , to hit a woman & he could possibly copy his Dads behaviour thinking its normal , because that can happen , as much as you think you are keeping them away from it & they are not seeing it they do !
As for his family they are a disgrace to !
I have two grown up daughters as well as a son , & I can tell you if ever , my son laid a finger on a girl , I dont care what ever was going of , I would disown him & all three of them are my world , but I wouldnt tolerate my son using that kind of behaviour !
When my girls were little , me & their Dad were not getting on , there was no violence , but arguing all the time
We split up & the girls were upset & then one day after seeing their Dad & coming home , they said this is a lot better
I said what do you mean
They said well we still get to be with you & Dad but we dont have to listen to the shouting any more !
I was quite shocked as they were young & came out with that statement
Yes its great to have both parents together bringing up a child , but it can also be very damaging when things are not right & they can be better of living with one in a stable home then living with both seeing & hearing things that they shouldnt
I no this isnt easy & it has to be your choice , but what I am trying to say is when making that choice , please dont think stopping would be the best thing for your son & stay because of that reason as in these circumstances it wouldnt be
How come he has so much time on the XBOX ?
Does he not work ?
Sorry if I have gone on , just made my blood boil , to think anyone would lay a finger on you or any one else for that matter you are beautiful inside & out , dont let your anxiety allow anyone to take advantage of you !
xxx
Hi Michelle x sorry to hear your having a bad time x BUt I can fully understand where you're coming from x I spent ten year with my eldest son's dad. The first 3 where fantastic he was supportive and we worked together and laughed together, and then when my son came along it all changed x Slow changes at first like shouting and calling me names. He stopped me having anything to do with my family and made me a hermit x
His family where good at first and took my side, then the beatings started, I told myself to stick it out for my son,I never had a dad and he needed one x BUt after 10 years I had had enough, so one day I left x his family made my life hell there attitude changed and it was all my fault x I fought him through the abuse that continued and I won, or so I thought, now that child lives with his dad x he has to as he is abusive and troubled,,he thinks nothing of raising his hand to anyone be it male or female x Like you none of the things that happen where my fault x BUt because we where so down we let them be put on us x At the end of the day it is totally your decision whether you choose to stay or not x BUt staying in a abusive relationship isn't helping you or your child x And they say they will change and they never do x
It will also feed your anxiety x these things will keep you on a negative cycle x and so you will continue to suffer x Love Donver xx
thankyou both xxx
I know the right thing to do is leave, its just so hard, especially with my boys school here and if I had to move id have no chance getting him there, agoraphobia be all over the place, my anxiety really does control me
Im miserable all the time and im sure my boy can see it too, its not nice for him sometimes, I feel a failure as a mummy sometimes, so positive this morning I give up.
he stays home and doesn't work at the moment to help me with my problems, but he doesn't at the moment, he just lazy, gone back on it now, ive been stuck upstairs all afternoon yet this morning I enjoyed and had a good ish trip outside. Cant believe its all because I needed to iron obv not got done now
I am not forgiving the way he has treated me this time I don't make people be violent and he isn't even sorry this time not that I would believe him anyway but nope its because of me.
I hate his family, texted his mum saying not to come today as planned as im leaving this violent arse, she obv sends text to me by accident meant for him, slating me and my dad ! so obv straight onto his mother telling lies
Feel a bit lost I sometimes don't know why I try....
Much love xxxxxx
in reply to
I think as your OH is suppose to be looking after you , he is taking advantage & causing you even more stress
Is the house in his name , joint names ?
I understand about schools etc, but its the future that we sometimes have to think about , a few months stress or what could be a lifetime of been abused
You would get help , there is other support out there
Have you or could you if you have a good GP speak to them ?
We are here when you need to talk , i no its not the same as someone been there in person , but we do care
xxx
in reply to
its joint, renting it out
ive just got to find the guts to get up and go, he not going yet its our childs home, find it disgusting
Thankyou, It really helps having people to talk to, it can get lonely here
xxxxxx
in reply to
Have you tried getting advise , even though its joint rented , I think the law would say if he is been unreasonable he has to move out
Maybe the CAB , could help
I no it hard to fight these things when its taking us all our time to deal with the anxiety & I have a feeling he knows that & is taking advantage of this !
My marriage for 30yrs resembles yr relationship and donover. There was alot of violence and mental crualty. I stuck for children and longer. Wish i hadent. Leave michelle make a plan. Please dont stay in that. Your anxiety may improve without the stress.
Your decision but i would go. I no i didnt and left it for two many yrs as fear of leaving . I ended up having to have him removed. It was a musrible life. My doc told me that my anxiety has took along time to get where it has not months but years.
Hi michellekathryn hope ur situation is calmer and and your ok .
Dave
Thankyou
calmer yes, just the boring digs infront of my child and atmosphere, cant stand it, apart from obv problems I do everything for my family, think it going to be a huge shock soon as im gone
Just read this, so sorry to hear your in this intolerable situation, nobody deserves to be treated this way, theres no excuse for violence, it's all about control and power, you deserve so much better for you and your child, really hope you can get away from this bully xx
GO AND GET ADVICE and make a plan to leave. There are agencies out there you can talk to. Housing will make you a priority as you are in an abusive realstionship. Don't let your son see all the abuse, he will see it as the right way to treat women. Your son will settle in a new school and the abusive behaviour could have an impact in how he behaves towards others in and out of school as he gets older.
Getting out will hopefully enable you to start a new life and possibly in time as things are calmer the anxiety will lessen.
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