I haven’t posted much on here for the past few years but have all of a sudden started to notice my mood becoming really low. I don’t feel anything anymore, I could happily walk out of work and my relationship without care or feeling. I guess I’ve been feeling like this for a while and thought it was ‘normal’ I have a really high pressure job which doesn’t help because I don’t get much time to myself or with my boyfriend. I guess I am looking for advice or just someone to talk to. The thought of counselling is difficult for me at the moment because I am scared of opening up and admittedly crying infront of someone. Stupid I know! I have booked a doctors appointment today for 2 weeks time as when it’s that time of the month I get really low and have really bad thoughts. I know the doctor will put me on anti depressants again but i can’t help but think this is an easy way out and I’m scared of being on them for a long time. But if it will stop me feeling like I am going into self destruct mode and letting depression think I want to break up with my boyfriend and leave my job etc then is it worth it?