Why can't I just be grateful !

Gave my job up due to it being a very stressful full on role, and the anxieties I suffered whilst there were awful, I thought when I was able to do that, it was the answer and improvement in me would be swift.

That is not the case I am now suffering with anxiety and feeling low about lots of other things,past present and future, and about not having a job,will I ever, and being single now i have less chance of being with someone, who wants to be bothered with someone not working I guess the list is endless. I feel low this afternoon , I can't see the light at the end of that long dark tunnel, is it all just a waste of time, it's not fair to feel one minute your getting somewhere and the next minute so low you don't care.

I feel at the moment I am existing with no purpose.....


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22 Replies

  • i feel the same but have just ordered some business cards to be a private carer skint but trying,dont give up

  • Thank you, good luck with that too

    I'm trying hard not to give up, I guess you know sometimes it's easier than others

  • You answered your own question, its the same old past and future thoughts, there the ones that make us feel anxious.

    We cant stop our thoughts, there just an inner dialogue, but we dont have to believe in them.

    On a positive I found my wife, whilst having no job, anxious, panicky etc, and were still together, so dont give up, and dont be impatient with time, it will all happens when your ready.

    wishing you well



  • Thank you B

    Was so lovely to hear you found your wife when you didn't have a job and were low etc, made me cry not sure why, perhaps I needed to cry xx

  • She made me cry too sleepless :-) when I found out how much she loves clothes shopping :-(

    Only joking, you will be ok, it all works out if you let it. Just think of all those exciting new experiences that are waiting for you.

    They will give you hope whilst your working on the anxiety and depression, and remember don't fight either of them, give them a cuddle when they surface, and they will melt away.



  • Haha the clothes shopping made me laugh.....thank you, making me cry was a good thing :)


  • I think the voluntary job will be good for you and give you some confidence back, then you can maybe look at something else later.... just put it to the backburner for now..... thats what im doing......

    I think youre maybe like me a little , and we put pressure on ourselfs!!

    with regards finding a partner I know what you mean, but again I think youre being hard on yourself.....

    Im trying to take a step back and sort myself out, before I look,,,,

    Its very hard and its like a vicious circle, but I think take one thing at a time, and for the min for your its the voluntarty work,,,,, who knows what might come from that...

    Get that trip up north planned!!!

    Ker xxx

  • Thanks Kerry, not sure what's happened this afternoon had a nap and woke up feeling so anxious and not able to cope, it's all so hard when you have been so strong. I'm in tears, Wtf happened.???.yes I am hard on myself your right, but hate feeling like this. I should be fookin grateful I could leave my job, some people just can't do that,

    I think a couple of things have happened over 24 hrs and have sent me on a downward spiral and I hadn't realised..

    I had said to a friend in the north I would try and go to her birthday party it's in 2 weeks , I had the invite to stay from her a little while ago , so all going well that's my trip! I contacted her yesterday to say my plan was to go , all going well..

    Seeing the guys about the voluntary work Monday, I know I've got to keep going surely there are some good things for me, I've always worked so hard and never been a bad person, now I sound like a freakin victim, !! ......thank you Anne xxx

  • Kerry, Anne I'm in a muddle sorry xxx

  • Sorry my middle name is anne and first used that as my user name, felt ashamed and thought evryone would know who I am, but then thought bollocks I'll use my first name, which is Kerry!!

    But you can call me what you like..... Ive been called a lot worse!! lol

    It takes time luv...... It will all be fine..........


  • Thank you Kerry I'm bad with names anyway!


  • Sometimes these things just creep up on us when we least expect it.......

    Take care of yourself and let yourself off the hook..........


  • Yes I wish I could learn not to give a dam what people think or say, one thing I've never done very well...we have a big week ahead of us next week I hope it's good for us I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and your interview. You know what I was thinking I don't think you have heard the last of that ex of yours, be prepared, because I reckon he's missing you more than even you know xxxx

  • Looking into the future again, expect everything to go tits up, smile enjoy the new experiences, there not bad just different.

    We would really get bored if everything went exactly to plan.

    What people say of us is none of our business.

    When people criticise others its either jealousy, mistunderstanding etc.

    They are not us, they dont know us, and even if they did they would only be able to see a point of view from their own insecurities, not yours.

    We all suffer in different ways, but we all suffer.

    See them as suffering too, like you, and what comes out of their mouths is sad really, give them compassion and it wont hurt you so much anymore.

    you know inside yourself its untrue, even if there is a speck of truth in there somewhere.

    Wish you well



  • Thank you B such good advice I truly appreciate it !! Xxx

  • thank you............ Im not going to stress about the job...... what will be...........

    Yeah I think the ex is missing me........... and I said cant you move here and he has said no...........he said if he could he would have by now.......... he works away mon to fri anyway...........why woyuld I move there to be on my own!! even if his mother wasnt a cow,......

    NO he cant leave his mummy......... he may be missing me but he cant be away from his mum......

    So I really dont think its resolvable ............ and Ive told him not to text me again...................

    But thanks for your lovely words............. I will be fine........ and you will be fine too!!


  • It's great to hear you so headstrong!!! Love it xx

  • :-) xx

  • Hi sleeplessinberks, this is exactly my situation, I started a job but couldn't stay as my anxiety and panic was too bad. I'm now worried I will never be able to work. In our situation it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But at least we both have found this site! Keep strong xxx

  • Yes the site is helpful Psychgrad

    I've had a right morning of it this morning with the sorting out of benefits, I'm just not used to being out of work either, I am making inroads to doing some voluntary work just a couple of afternoons a week to stop me just staying at home...the benefit system isn't always easy especially if you don't know it


  • I stopped receiving job seekers when I started working and I imagine I wouldn't receive it now as I voluntarily left employment, but I also don't feel ready for work again so soon! I have considered voluntary work as well, I just want a bit of time to recover, I find intense anxiety episodes so traumatic. I don't know much about the benefits system, would you be eligible for incapacity benefit? Xxx

  • Hi well I know a little bit more about it now...

    You would get job seekers allowance but there is a sanction of around 10 weeks, but you still have to sign on, and any claim will only start from when you put your claim in so the sooner that is done the better and you can do it on the telephone, if you are not able to work due to sickness then a different benefit is to be applied for also can be applied for on the telephone, but for the sickness benefit its wise to visit your Dr...I got myself all anxious about it all this morning...I rang advice line who gave me a link to a site which provides details which is adviceguide.org.uk

    It has

    Very useful up to date information on here, just in case you need it...

    I was told that you can do voluntary work in some cases when you claim sickness benefit, and as long as you let them know you can do it on job seekers allowance too..you should get any benefits you are entitled to, it will help to alleviate some of it at least financially. Hope that helps...

    The guilt of giving up my job so bad enough..

    Sue xx

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