Body dismorphic disorder: Please help if you... - Anxiety Support

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Body dismorphic disorder

lovedogs51511 profile image
38 Replies

Please help if you have this? I am desperately needing advice on how does anyone with this extremely horrible issue handle it or can I get passed,it to enjoy life? I've got so may mental heath issues but this is what bothers me the most! Causes panic attacks when outside. I'm constantly looking in mirrors looking to see how scary I am having a horrible smokers face. Its like I keep checking thinking I might look ok but every time I look it's devastating! Makes no sense at all. The compulsion to keep checking how ugly I am is really horrific. I need any advice on how do I get over this. This is what's ruining my life the most. I just want to cry or just die. I cant live with this anymore!!! Are these obsessions to keep checking my face normal? I don't think it is. This is making me very depressed. Thanks!

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38 Replies
ShellW18 profile image
ShellW18

Hi lovedogs51511, sorry to hear your feeling like this. Are you on any medication for depression or anxiety, if your not I would say 5he first step is to see a doctor and tell them how you are feeling. See also if you can get some counselling, CBT is good method as it looks to changed our thought process. I also have theese feelings. Although I purposefully avoid mirrors when I'm outside the house as I get very upset and want to go home to my safe place. I constantly see people looking at me like I'm disgusting, make me so angry and upset. I would never make some feel like that, I don't care what people look like that I care about who people are inside. So I find it hard to understand why other people judge people over there appearance before they know them x

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to ShellW18

Oh huge thank you for relating cause I feel so alone! Your message just made my day. Have Drs appt on the 10th. He said he'll be able to give me med,to help with anxiety. Currently taking one for depression 2 for bipolar so I'm praying I can get ativan and adderol for ADHD. Thinking that will help so maybe I can leave my condo. Just like you I have no idea why they stare so long if,I'm disgusting to look at. Makes me crazy. Like you I never judge anyone by looks as its terrible to do like you said. I don't understand either why ppl only care about what I look like without knowing me at all! The hell with them cause I wouldn't want to associate with them anyways. God I'm so glad I'm not alone with this. Your message really helped so huge thank you😀😎

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

I have parts of me that I am having trouble accepting and feel self conscious about. Sometimes I check mirrors, like you, in the hopes I will look okay and can carry on without anxiety but sometimes I don’t like what I see at all so I spin into more anxiety. I can feel the cortisol surging through my body. Anxiety amplifies this negativity towards looks. I know because on my good days without much anxiety what I see is beauty. Beauty coming from the inside is more important than the outside, I believe we will take our heart/soul with us and leave our bodies behind. But I think it’s in our nature to care about our appearance. It’ stinks that people react to us based on looks sometimes.

I find that what helps is lightly taking in my entire face or entire body so I don’t zoom in and pick at my problem areas and don’t get stuck there. And to try to see ourselves without judgement...I know it’s hard... try pretending you are looking at someone else and see if you might see yourself in a new light since we are hard on ourselves.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight

Hi I'm to the point of wanting to commit suicide cause of this. Ppl stare at my mouth where I have skin sagging and I just wish I wasn't here anymore. I refuse to leave the condo. Never will again except to get food, Drs appts and if I have to work part time. Pretty much not going to get hired looking so scary. Thanks for the message starrlight. I appreciate it. Just feeling lost, hopeless and sick of being judged. I used to be beautiful but now I'm completely disgusting and that's what I can't get over. I don't look like myself anymore. God I wish I never smoked. Little to late now So living with severe skin sagging is unbearable!!!!

kenster1 profile image
kenster1 in reply to lovedogs51511

hey don't put yourself down.your being harsh on yourself.im sure your family friends see you different to what you feel.i used to be stocky build but depression made me loss weight all over apart from my tummy leaving me look like homer simpson.i also had blonde/brown hair but even that fell out because of it.im me like you are you and we shouldn't really bother what other people think of us.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to kenster1

Its just tough dealing with anyone in person. Its destroying my life. Looking like s--t kills me. I was beautiful only a couple years ago. So now I've got the saggy skin making me look like a freak. I'm just sick of ppls rudeness. Always been judged since a little kid. At 45, dealing with rude ppl is getting very old! That's putting it nicely. Anyways I've decided to just stay,in my condo like I always do. Won't go out for any walks unless it's say 11 pm to 4:30 am. That way I won't have to deal with ppls s--t. Lol

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to kenster1

I know how you feel. Its just terrible dealing with it!!! Thanks

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511

(((((((((Lovedogs)))))))))

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight

(((((((STARRLIGHT))))))))

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

That is one of the main symptoms of BDD! Please seek help from a therapist, psychiatrist or your general primary.

metalminded profile image
metalminded

My psychologist loaned me a book written by Brian Cuban (Mark Cuban's brother). It is his story from childhood about BDD. It's called Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It's a great read, it may help!

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah

I feel the same but i don't think my psychiatrist made it important to figure out if i do have that. She was falling asleep on me on my first appointment......i never said that before but it's true she said she took allergy meds. Anyways i feel like she didn't really hear me out idk.

But maybe i don't have this and just have zero self esteem and self worth and happen to think I'm the ugliest girl on earth who never had a boy flirt with me yet. I need to learn how to love myself first but i gotta figure out how and i just hope it works.......

I can 100% relate and understand how you feel and constantly checking mirrors and feeling more depressed. Please message or text me anytime!❤

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

I'm so sorry your Dr did that to you. That's totally not right but if she has allergies benadryl does put ppl to sleep. I can't see you but I have a feeling your beautiful inside and out. I've always had the same feeling as you. The low self esteem. Being picked on and bullied has made me feel very bad about who I am as a person. I'm very nice to others but,that's not what matters to anyone its always been if I look good or not. So like you I have to figure out,how to accept this and try to love myself, for being a good person and stop judging myself,so harshly. Have a great day😎

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

I can relate to everything you said. Please contact me if you need to talk because i actually do understand where your coming from. So we can help each other and travel down this path together.

And wow....that medicine must be powerful lol😂

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

I do need someone that cares. I give my all to help others and most of the time I get zero in return! So thank you for caring Vonnah!! Your AWESOME!! Just feeling ugly and can't go outside. Its no way to live. I keep saying who cares what these mean and rude ppl think of me!!! I just can't give a s--t cause its destroying me inside. So who cares!!! Hahaha! I just keep trying day after day!!! How are you doing today???

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

You read my mind!!!!! That's exactly how i feel😔 i get nothing in return. I have no one.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

Oh we have so many similar issues. I think we could try and help each other understand and help each other cope day to day!!!

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

Yeah of course we can help each other💜

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511

Thanks Vonnah! Yea checking my face constantly in mirrors is what I do all day. Ill check my bathroom mirror take a few steps check again etc. I do it way to much. Its a compulsion to do it over and over. I can't stop. If I don't check I just freak out and have a severe panic attacks. I guess there's no support groups for this and I feel absolutely alone and I don't want to go on dealing with this anymore. I can't afford a face lift so my life is over. Theres nothing I can do!

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

I looked before too i wish there was a group on here for BDD.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

Omg so do I!!! I've looked online for BDD support groups but found nothing but garbage! No help whatsoever. Going to new Dr tomorrow so hoping for the best outcome. I'm definitely going to ask him about what I can do to get over BDD. Its destroying everyday of my life! How bad is yours? I think its the worst thing I deal with. Its horrible isn't it?

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

That's good your going to get help. I don't know....i just hate myself. Really do. Wish i had a new face. A beautiful face......*sigh*😟

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

New face...exactly what I want to!!! So glad you understand!!! I feel so alone with this. I can't stand myself either!! Definitely not alone Vonnah I feel just like you!!! Its so hard to deal with isn't it???

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

Yep😕 it's hard. Life sucks feeling like you are the ugliest person alive. That's how i feel.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

Totally understand! I'm ugly in person and it hurts everyday every minute of the day. I don't know how to accept it. Its way to hard getting very dirty looks from everybody all day long. It kills me emotionally.

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

Girl i feel the same. It's misery. I have pcos so it makes me feel extremely bad about how my body is. My face is ugly too.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

What is pcos? I bet your beautiful girl. Your beautiful on the inside I know that definitely!!!

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

No, right now i literally feel like throwing my phone at the wall. Because of my depression and how my parents make me feel. I wish i could scream into a pillow. Or travel to the middle of nowhere and scream at the top of my lungs. I missed some dosages of my medicine. Yeah I'm going crazy. I was angry one second then feeling like crying then laughing the next. Isn't that.....manic?

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

I've been there too. I think that was the bipolar2 making me scream in the mirror at myself I'd hit the wall over and over and scream like you said. I know how shitty,that feels. Its unbearable!!! My meds plus sobriety has helped soooo much! Is that med working at all? Might need to try different one. I'm on Geodon and lamictal for mine.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to lovedogs51511

I feel bad but my new med I just took is making super sleepy on top of all the other ones. I sure hope to catch you tomorrow. I will help you with dealing with the awful moods of bipolar2. Just way sleepy.

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

No i doubt its working. Oh and i almost forgot. PCOS is polycystic ovary syndrome. It is a hormonal disorder and causes women and girls to have irregular periods or no periods at all, abnormal hair growth (facial hair), sweating more, and higher testosterone level. Which is not normal. There are long term complications if not treated.

I still don't understand what my body is going through. Doctors don't explain much. My gyn just said i have to take birth control my entire life unless I'm ready to have babies. I'm still scared i can't have children someday plus I'm ugly with acne. It causes acne too. And depression and anxiety is a side effect since it's a hormonal imbalance. No cure. I'm screwed. At least it's harmless and not deadly but still. My self esteem is shot. Zero!😲

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

I'm so so sorry Vonnah you have to deal with that. You'll be able to have children cause they said you'll be able to. Some guy will be lucky to have such a wonderful gal like you. Your a beautiful person. My pic turned out ok but trust me in person I'm very ugly. Your not alone. Ill trade you!!! I totally understand the feeling of having no self esteem. Its a terrible feeling. Its hard to even say I'm genuine and try to help others the best I can and you do as well. That's the only thing I can say that's good even if I'm disgusting on the outside. Just know that you are genuine and caring. A good friend too. If you start feeling low just know those are great qualities you have! I thank you for being a friend!😀😎

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

Thank you, your so sweet. But you are a beautiful person to because of what's in your heart. Try not to think about the outside part until you get the help you need, even though it's obsessive thoughts and anxiety you get about your looks. I try to surpress those emotions which isn't good but i mean it can take my mind of my biggest insecurities only temporarily. I hope someone will like me one day if that ever happens. Your a great friend and full of wisdom, kindness, and experience.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

Oh Vonnah your such a dear!! Thank you for your kind words. You made my day!! Ill try and do that and maybe take a step and not bring a mirror with me if,I can get the courage to get this morning. That's going to make me crazy but its a step I need to take. I hope we both can get over this. I promise your going to find someone who will respect you as a woman and to maybe have a family of your own!! I would hate for some jerk who's only out there to get sex from women.. I pray that you never meet men that just use you for sex. Make sure you don't sleep with someone within meeting him for only a short time. If he waits for when you are ready to go to that next level than that's a good guy. I'm sorry I'm just telling you from experience is all. Plus I don't want you to get hurt by some jerk. Don't give up ok. Like I said you are a sweet caring person who deserves to be respected by everyone especially men!

Vonnah profile image
Vonnah in reply to lovedogs51511

Thank you. I am gladly taking your advice. And one step at a time friend!😉👍 i support you.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Vonnah

Thanks for your advice too. One step at a time is all we can do!!

Nikky_c33 profile image
Nikky_c33

I constantly check my body in a mirror I have no clue how many times a day so i totally understand, I just wish I could go a day without putting myself down or stressing out about looking in the mirror and feeling so ugly and fat. My boyfriend even notices the obsession and it makes him sad seeing me put myself down like that every day...

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Nikky_c33

Yea I totally know what you mean. I do that too. I used to be happy but I know I did this to myself by not,being able to quit smoking. I do the same by saying your fat and now your ugly,saying that to myself every second of the day. Isn't it just terrible what we tell ourselves? It is sad. Women are expected to be always beautiful especially in our younger years. Now I'm only 45 and have saggy skin around the mouth from smoking. Its so embarrassing I hate going outside. Ppl just stare with disgust. It hurts really bad. I did it to myself and now have to figure out how to cope with it. Thanks sooo much for your message. Feels good to know I'm not alone. I refuse to judge someone on their looks alone. That's not what matters but society only cares if your pretty. My mom is 71 and still gorgeous so that makes me feel even worse!!!

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