In need of some support or just someone who can relate.

[Mummy2arockstar]

Hi I’m Kate,

A little back story is needed so here goes. I’ve always been shy but nothing really to worry about until my parents divorced when I was around 7 or 8. I stayed living with my dad who had broken his back years earlier so was disabled. Unfortunately (although this wasn’t diagnosed for years) he had munchenhousen (the belief you are ill) and by proxy (projecting it onto others, me).

Because of this my dad made me believe that I had issues with my stomach and reproductive system and kept me off school for nearly 4 years here and there.

Obviously because of this my social development has become way behind and I suffer with social anxiety. Usually I can keep on top of it and try to push myself out of my comfort zone to do things that need to be done, like visiting the in laws at Christmas.

When I was sitting my A levels there was a period of time where I physically couldn’t face school or life outside my room. I used to self harm to kind of release the feeling and didn’t really eat. Fast forward 10 years, I’m a mum and have someone who relies on me.

My fiancé had an accident at work and has been off for over 2 months so bills just aren’t getting paid. We are waiting on an accident claim he has made but that could be months even a year away. In the mean time I’m struggling with the pressure, with us all being coped up in our tiny house because the weathers rubbish.

I can’t sleep, my patience with my son is way shorter than he deserves and the white noise/fuzzy head feeling is back. I am going to make an appointment with my dr on Monday and hope they waiting list isn’t too long but just wondered if I’m not as along as I feel.

I have spoken to my fiancé about this but while he supports me he has never had any mental health issues so doesn’t know how to help. I’ve also spoken to my mum who is helping in anyway she can but in a way that makes it worse as I feel like a burden.

Sorry for the long post, just reaching out really.

[Jeff1943]

Mummy2arockstar, I can tell from your posting that you are a strong and intelligent woman who has survived the bad upbringing of your father and is now building a good life for yourself and your son and your fiancé.

Has your fiancé been to claim for state injury benefit and support for you all?

[Mummy2arockstar in reply to Jeff1943]

Hi Jeff, thank you for such kind words. He is in the process of liaising with citizen advice and sorting out what he can claim, so there is light on the horizon. Just for the time being I can’t help but feel we’re sinking fast and it’s completely out of my control. My heart races every time the post arrives and I could quite happily hide myself away.

[b1b1b1]

I don't think you should feel as though you are a burden to your mother. As the mother of an older son, I have come to realize that most mothers really like to feel needed by their grown children. It provides a purpose and the feeling that you are still a "mother." You have done miraculously well given the situation you had with your father, as a young child.

[everlife]

Hope to get good news in post soon!