My boyfriend and I have a weddin coming up this Saturday. I manage my anxiety fairly well throughout my week but the thought of having to sit through ceremonies and dinner etc has got me questioning if I can do it with my anxiety... what if I panic? what if I need to leave and its awkward? what if peple ask where I went? its making me not want to go. I talked to my boyfriend about this ( my anxiety never used to stop me from doing anything until about a year ago - long story short, I even lost my job) its been manageable but hard and he tells me he thinks I use it as an excuse not to do things. I am upset to say the least. Who would choose this kind of life to sit at home instead of being social... I am a 27 year old female who used to be the life of the party in my teens... I don't know what happened to me.. now I'm questioning my partner... theres no worse feeling than having them doubt you like that.. I cant even believe it.. please offer any advice!
I need some support here..: My boyfriend and... - Anxiety Support
I need some support here..
Hi tdawgg123, it is a most horrible feeling to sit at home instead of being social no matter what age. I know and understand what your worries are about going and then the "what ifs" take over and you are defeated before even trying.
I will tell you this, having anxiety, you have to become hard skinned or you will miss out on many events of your life. Once you start becoming so afraid of what may happen and you skip the event, the next and the next only becomes easier not to go. Eventually, everyone including partners will just assume you are not going and they will go on with life. I really think once you get there (as hard as it may be) you will start getting into the social aspect of it all. Pick out a pretty outfit, put on your makeup, do your hair and go in with confidence. And if, just if, you have to leave, bow out gracefully, no explanations needed. But if you can stay, have the time of your life. Don't forget being happy and having a good time brings up your endorphin levels which will help conquer any anxious thoughts. Also don't forget about deep breathing to get you through. xx
Thank you so much. Just reading this really made me feel better. I don't typically struggle all that much with social events but this one in particular strikes something for me. I think it's because I'm expected to stay for a long period of time. It's not far from home so chances are I will go I certainly feel obligated too because I don't want excuses being made for why I didn't show up either. Ugh it's just exhausting to think about
aw kick that panic out window for bit it be your wedding day best day ever to your dream guy prob lovely wedding dress that look nice sexy on you ha ha 1s him puting that super ring on your finger saying vowls then the wedding party 1s dance you him on dance floor cutting that wedding cake smooch smoochs then later on way hay party time in hotle room hang overs in morning ha ha think all that nice happy times more to come so no anxiety that day be lovely pretty in that dress yours and have happy lovely day :-):-):-)
Just reading that feels like my story, I have no idea what happened but 3 years ago out of nowhere I found I started to have a fear of social situations then it progressed slowly to not wanting to go out on my own, and this was never me. I spend most days on my own while my partner works he keeps saying "you where never like this when we first met I'm only 33 years old and I feel like my life has already ended to make matters worse I also quit smoking 6 months ago 
Hey. I'm going to a Wedding too this Saturday. I'm really excited to go cause I get to see old friends, but I can understand your reservations about it. There's gonna be lots of people and conversations, but keep in mind that the event is not about you; it's about the bride and groom. It's their day. You are there for support. The spotlight is gonna be on them. They most likely feel more nervous then you do. You just have to be there, and if you have to excuse yourself, then do it, nothing wrong with that
Hello. I have been there. Just relax and make a day of difference. Leave the monster at home(anxiety). And say goodbye I'm out to have a good time. Good luck !
I lost my job and friends at roughly the same age as you(i was around 28) and now 7 years later and still haven't been able to completely get out and be social(and just like you i was out partying a lot) and have worked mostly part time. The feelings of head pressure, brain fog, balance issues and having panic attacks have just discouraged me from doing a lot of things. Have done CBT and it has helped a bit but still struggle pretty much every week(cant find any consistency). I mentioned something similar in another post but pay attention to little things as it may make a significant difference. Foods you eat can make a difference(do you notice any stomach issues?), make sure to get enough sleep, keep stress as low as possible, don't exert yourself too much(sports i played all the time and it was great for stress but now my dizzy spells feel worse so i have barely played in last several years). Anyways, keep fighting and know there are many of us with similar problems!
THESE BIG STEPS IN LIFE TAKE A LOT OF THOUGHT
I know the fear of worrying about what the future holds while dealing with anxiety. Although I've been slowly trying to recover from my anxiety, I realize that l have to go back out to sea, which brings on some dread in me thinking what if I go on deploymnet and i get a panic attack. The thought of feeling trapped on a ship out at sea that way really does frighten me. At the same time I've been going to work with panic attacks below my skin, and pretending to function somehow. I think what's helped me somewhat control it, is having researched anxiety in all its ugliness. The's forums have really helped too, with so many individuals from all walks of life experiencing nearly the same symptoms. I can now tell when anxiety is coming on, and I'll sit through work, family gatherings gritting my teeth from all the horrible feelings, but with the confidence that it will subside and it will be okay.
I understand 100% where you are coming from. I used to be social, go out every night, travel, etc. Then I started getting anxiety and it got to the point where I couldn't even go to the movies because I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack and not be able to leave. No one would choose this life, I would not wish anxiety and panic on anyone. My boyfriend of 5 years started to question me and he thought I was making excuses not to go out with him. I broke up with him because I realized for one, I didn't want to hold him back from doing anything. Two, he was not being very understanding and kind about my new situation and three, I wasn't going to be able to help myself if I was constantly worrying about him and trying to please him and his needs. I would try talking to him about it very openly and try and explain what is happening to you physically. If he is not sympathetic maybe he is not the one. I broke up with my boyfriend and not even 8 months later I found the love of my life and he has done nothing but support me and help me improve.
Loved reading your post. Especially when you said you wouldn't be able to help yourself if you were constantly worried about him. That's me now. I exhaust myself by worrying and doing things I don't want to do and causing unnecessary stress and anxiety. We have talked a few times about this and I thought he was being quite understanding but it's time to cross that bridge again and see what happens.
I think we as anxiety sufferers tend to live a guilty life style where we always feel like we are a burden to the people we love so we either isolate ourselves or are just adding on extra stress we really don't need. Your boyfriend should make you feel at ease and comfortable. I know you can't help but feel how you feel and once the thought is in your head your body reacts with panic.
That was nice to read. Opened my eyes actually
Hey I felt the exact same way when I had to go to portugal to meet my bfs family. I was asking myself tons and tons of questions. Someone told me to just take 1 step at a time first concentrate on getting on the Plane and that only so I did, thinking that way helped alot. You could always try on some nice clothes, doing your hair etc concentrate on just making yourself feel Glamourous and nothing else before you know it youll be at that wedding and you might enjoy. Keep telling yourself that your in control and that you can leave when you want to..Even if you manage to just stay just for a few hours is better than not going at all, If your partner loves you he will understand if you wanted to leave early. Remember No one will judge you. I know exactly how you feel because I get all the anxious symptoms. x
Hi tdawgg123, did you pick out the dress you will wear tomorrow night? I will be thinking about you and hoping you have a good time. Let us know how it goes. xx
you made me smile
Our partners cannot really understand our predicament. It does not mean they are not caring. It doesn't mean they don't love us. But it is if we are speaking a different language. Even caring doctors don't always understand. I'd happily never attend another social event. For years I had to use alcohol and drugs to cope with socialising. Of course that ended pretty badly as you can imagine.
All you can do is use coping mechanisms for the time being. Breathe in for 4; out to the count of 6. Hold your left hand in your right, and squeeze. You can get through it; just tell yourself it's not important. And if you feel like leaving, then leave.
Good luck
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