How Much More?

[OperativeSeven]

I'd like to start by saying that I'm new here. So, hi, hello, salutations. I've been battling severe anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, I got the diagnosis in April of 2015. I'm 17, and A high school junior. It's already been confirmed I won't graduate with my class because of my poor grades, and I don't think that exactly helps with my situation. My parents are currently separated and trying to mend the relationship, I have an Autistic brother, and a little sister, who I practically raised. In December(of 2017) I slipped my L-5 and S-I dics, I have yet to recover. The pain is sometimes is unbearable and lately I've been feeling hopeless. I skip breakfast, my lunches are minimal, the same for my dinners. I just don't have an appetite. And lately, I've had no energy and even so can barely sleep. I feel dead. I have a therapist but I feel uncomfortable with her, she's a nice lady, but she's a Christian therapist, and I'm Atheist, so Religion is almost always brought up (by accident, she really does try, but still) and it makes me so uncomfortable. On top of that I can't even find passion for my hobbies, and it sucks because I've practically quit doing what I love to do. School.... doesn't help either. I don't feel safe at all, anywhere. I can't even smile anymore. Today i walked around like a dead corpse and I soon as I got home I wept into my pillow. I just need help, and I don't know how much more I can take...

[carrieblevins1998]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel, right now, my anxiety is so bad I have problems eating and I can't smile either. I have no insurance to talk to a therapist, so your very lucky you can.

[OperativeSeven in reply to carrieblevins1998]

It's not exactly helping me. It's making me feel worse. There's online therapy groups though, have you checked those out?

[carrieblevins1998 in reply to OperativeSeven]

No, I wasn't aware that there were online groups.

[OperativeSeven in reply to carrieblevins1998]

Try 7Cups or iPrevail

[Lizanimal]

I'm sorry that your therapist isn't the right fit, could you tell your parents you'd like to switch? I've used 7 cups and have had a mixed experience, the first time I was matched with a very helpful person and the second time I was matched with someone who clearly didn't know how to respond to me. If you use YouTube you could look up Kati Morton, she is a therapist who does short but informative videos regarding many different mental health issues. Also on instagram I've come across Mindful Counseling, she's another therapist who does videos called therapy thoughts, her main focus is eating disorders and intuitive eating but she talks about other things too. I know how hard it can be to believe things will be better, so if you feel like crying, cry! What you're going through is tough and I don't have many answers as I myself feel really low right now but I always try to find a little thing here or there to lift me, even if it's the tiniest bit. Take care of yourself as best you can and if you feel comfortable talk to them, it may help ♡