He was healthy and it was completely out of nowhere (it was a blood clot). I'm reeling and keep reliving the moment they told us in the hospital that they couldn't bring him back. I can't get the picture of his body, still warm, out of my head. I'm having trouble sleeping, haven't been back to work yet, and I feel so guilty and anxious. I feel guilty because I tried to be there for my mom the first few days, but she is a manipulative, emotionally abusive person. She's my mom and I love her but everything is ten times harder to deal with when you factor her in. I'm freaking out about the future and what I may have to deal with and everything seems so surreal. I'm anxious about going back to work and having to see people who mean well saying they're sorry. I would welcome any advice or insights from people, especially those who maybe have been through a similiar situation. It's been only 4 days but it feels like forever. This is the worst pain I've ever felt and the anxiety on top of it all is excruciating. I feel like an awful person for not being motivated to do anything.