Please help!!!!

I have so much anxiety going on right now in my life. My mom just passed on 5/11/16 in my home and I just can't seem to focus. My mom did everything for a lot of people. She brought comfort to my anxiety issues. I was okay when a lot of people were around yesterday after he funeral service but now that reality is settling in of everyone being gone and going back to work, my anxiety is out of control. I don't want to go back home because of her passing there in her bedroom, she lived with me. My husband is here for support but he's getting stressed because I'm not working and the bills are piling up and we could potentially lose our home. I have so much weighing me down and I can't seem to get out of this nightmare. I am now seeing a counselor for my anxiety as I don't like medication or the side effects. I've been down that road before and it made me feel horrible. I just really need some great support and first and foremost, the lead and direction from GOD!!!!

13 Replies

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  • So sorry to hear what you're going through but just know nothing can happen without GODS say so your going thru hard times for a reason just keep the faith as strong as u can.

  • I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, its totally understandable that you feel the way you do and look don't be anxious, your mom is with you always in memory and in spirit and may God bless you, you can get out of this and you will be okay

  • Thank you so much Alan_98 inappreciate your warm words of encouragement

  • I am so sorry with what you are going through right now. I feel your pain I too lost my Mother not too long ago and it hurts. I found this natural supplement called "Valerian" it is a natural way to get some calm.. It is natures Valium with no side effects. My daughter suffers with pretty bad OCD and this works very well at calming her down. I am sorry for your loss:(.

  • Thanks Tricia1067 how do you move on to the new natural after losing your Mom?

  • For me was just taking it moment by moment then day by day and then week by week. It is very painful and I feel for you. Try not to think too far ahead and just do today and then tomorrow.. It will get better and easier with time.

  • Hi Sherelle1010. Thinking of you today and wondering how you are doing? tricia1067

  • I'm okay and I just ask God to keep me calm and allow me to be able to focus on positive things. Thanks for thinking of me.

  • Hi Sherelle,

    I am soo so sorry for your loss. I know all to well you're suffering. I lost my daughter 2009. After the funeral the pain always gets worse. Everyone goes about their life , the sun raises , and sets the birds sing and Your world stops and you are alone with the unbearable pain. I understand and I am so sorry .

    Grief takes time and for some people longer than time its self. If I can give you any advise would be it cry when you need to and if its every hour so be it. Don't hold in crying or not talking about your pain. . You have to go through pain the there is no going around it. It is so painful I know, I am still not completely myself. Give yourself time.. If you need medication to get through the pain - its OK some people cannot cope without it, doesn't mean you'll need to take it forever. Find a support group, for me I found that some friends avoided me, they were sick of me expressing my pain and grief , they didn't want to hear it anymore, there are some that think when the funeral is over thats it I should get on with my life. Needless to say they are no longer in my life.

    Your mother death is still so fresh and what you are feeling is normal. Your mother's memory is every where you look in your house and I know what that feels like, its so painful, its gonna take time. For me medication helped tremendously, please think about it. It doesn't have to be forever.

    I don't always like to talk about spirituality on this site, but this case I will - I believe you will one day see your mother again. I believe after a love one passes they stay near to you for a while. I felt my Jennifer touching my hair all the time. I had vidid dreams of her and after waking up from that vidid dream I was so happy too. I felt different, and I knew it was her not a regular dream cause I was never happy without that vidid dream. It reassured me she's still with me, There were so many insistences that indicated she was around me.

    I am here if you feel you need to talk. Your mother doesn't want you to loss all you have. Be open to sense her being there with you. Talk to a good psychiatrist. I say good psychiatrist because they are hard to find as well as a good therapist . But they are out there. I have one, and she's wonderful and has been a life saver and be open to medication it could make a huge difference. Remember you can always go off of medication. There is so much negativity on line about taking antidepressants. A lot of it according to me is Bull. It saved my life. Yes, it has been over prescribed but in those cases are from the bad psychiatrist I was talking about. A lot of people have taking antidepressants who really didn't need them but they have been a life saver those who needed them, like me.

    I wish you all the best and I will be sending you up some prayers

    KIM

  • Wow jennifer1983 I can't thank you enough for your warm thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry for the loss of your daughter and I can't imagine what you're going through. You hit the nail on the head when you said after the funeral, everyone will leave and go on with their lives while we try to figure out our new life. I will keep you in my prayers as well and I thank you so much for your response.

  • Anytime you want to chat and I can help you - know that I am here. Another thing is that might help you with the memories of your mother in the house which did a lot for me., was to change the furniture around in the room and or all the rooms. Change pictures around or buy a new spread for the bed, if you can't afford a spread at this time, take the spread off the bed and just leave on the sheets. If you change a few things around in the house it does help somewhat cause when you walk into a room its different. You won't see your mother in the same places in your house.

    I will think of you, and pray God will give your strength to get through this difficult time. It will get better. I promise it will !!

    - Jennifer 1983 was my daughter's name and date of her birth. She passed at 26 years old, and it still hurts even to have typed that.. My name is KIM

  • Dearest Sherelle, my heartfelt sympathy to you. Losing a mother is hard to accept no matter what age. When I lost my mother several years ago, anxiety hit me from all sides as well as becoming agoraphobic. Months down the road as questions would come up about family or her favorites shows would be on, I would without thinking tell myself that I had to call her. And then realizing she wasn't there would initiate the hurt all over. I finally found a way that works for me to keep her thoughts and love alive. I registered on Legacy.com for perpetual Guest Book contact to my mother. It has helped in looking forward to the holidays and special events by writing to her. I write down memories of good times as well as thanking her for being my mother. For me I never run out of things to say that maybe weren't spoken when she was here. For me it has given some peace to my heart. I hope that you find a way to find that peace one day. Sending you a hug. xx

  • Sherelle, I could say, I'm so sorry to hear but it's not what u want to hear. Remember we all go and it's something we have to face. We have a grieving period then we try to get on with life and do the best we can before it destroys every one. You now have a lovely home, more than most people have, a caring husband which u won't have if you continue along this pass. Sometimes our anxiety takes over and we need medication not that I believe in it. I take Lorazapran and thank god I do. No side effects but yes I'm hooked. But at least I'm not having anxiety attacks and at least I can focus and not sit around feeling woe is me. I am sorry that I may sound to strong but it's really what you need to hear. I would hate it if u lost your home and or anything else . Besides going back to work focus on a hobby, gardening, colouring in, whatever. I colour in these very intricate designs that now seem to be the rage for people who suffer anxiety. Forgot ton the name of the actual books. But they are magic. When I colour in everything seems to leave my brain and my consentration is on the colours I'm using, what goes with what and do they match and shading in etc

    I've never had a mother so I don't know what it's like to mourn but all I know is we give ourselves a little time to think about the loss and to grieve then we pick ourselves up and continue life . Sherelle now it's time for u to get back on your feet, help your husband, work and as I said find a hobby. And if u have to take a pill a day then so be it.... That's life. At least u will feel stable and maintain a better existence.

    Let us know how u go. Xxxx

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