Anyone with similar?

I've always thought that I was laid back.

I worked out over time that I suffered from depression but I got used to it and knew that it would go after a few days. As I told my doctor and counselor, I was happy when I was just depressed as I could deal with it and knew it would go.

With stress, I knew when I was. I felt not in control, worked up, tense etc. That's how I knew I was stressed. Pacing the room and going over and over what was on my mind. Once sorted it was gone.

Anxiety, I have no idea where it came from.

I was/am a very shy person and overtime I have compensated by hiding it well and I've become more confident. Though, I still get very excited when we go on a trip or Xmas Eve like a child.

Now I'm anxious about being anxious. I feel as if there is something missing, I told my counselor that (I borrowed from Austin Powers but it describes it best) I felt like I was missing my mojo. I was impervious to pain or comment but now, it just feels like a part of me is missing and I'm searching for it.

I should also add that in school I was a person that knew the answer but was too afraid to put their hands up (that carried on into later life) but I'm also the best person to have around in a crisis. I thrive on a crisis and can deal with it.

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  • Hi davjon,

    I've suffered with anxiety/depression from a young age. Like you I got excited about things like Christmas Eve or other holidays. I have bouts where I'm okayish, but if I've had depression for more a few days/weeks then it would turn into anxiety. I think this is from fear that it would never pass- that I would always be below par/the part of me missing will never come back etc.

    I think anxiety & depression go together because I know if I'm anxious first the exhaustion turns into depression. I also get anxious about being anxious, so its a horrible vicious circle which is very hard to get out of. I read somewhere that anxiety comes from frustration. Usually people who were once creative, who get interupted from this, get frustrated, and this turns into anxiety. So if you've feel you've lost your mojo, then this is likely to develope into frustration which then causes the anxiety. Unfortunately these feelings of anxiety are a distraction in themselves and cause frustration. Its very hard for me to explain. I hope I'm doing okay here... I'm very tired and not sure if I make sense !

    Recently I feel like an important part of me is missing and I am searching and searching but find nothing. Maybe its still there but the fog is just in the way. Anyway, lifes not been grand recently so joined here for support.

    I hope you find this insightful, and I am sure you will soon get your 'mojo' back, the best advice I can give is not to give up. :) Sorry this is doesn't make much sense If there is anything you want to clear up just ask me and I will probably be able to explain it better in the morning.

    Best wishes, Funkyfairy x

  • Hi Funkyfairy

    Thanks, that's exactly how I feel. I am a creative person (writing etc) but haven't been able to do it and I suppose the age is catching up with me.

    I find that I also can't concentrate on one project, I have to have a few on the go as I get bored very easy.

    Thanks!

  • Hi Davjon,

    I also had that problem in school, knew the answer , petrified to put my hand up! And then i am also the first person that friends and family come to with a problem or for advice - but i tend to keep all my issues in my own head. Sometimes i feel worn out after a day of trying to solve them all and i just want to go to bed! I was also a very excited child & teenager, i would scream and be happy over the silliest things, my friend's thought it was hilarious :) x

  • Hi Boo1983

    I'm the same with people coming to me to help sort their problems out and give advice. Only one problem though, where do I go when I need advice etc.

    Are people selfish an putting their problems on us and then disappearing when we need to put ours on them?

    Another thing that I've been wondering about is whether selfish people get anxiety. I know they would get stage fright etc but full blown anxiety. I don't think they would as they tend to offload everything on other people.

    I'm still an excited adult, should see Xmas Eve as I can't sleep at all! Lol

  • I don't think selfish people do suffer if i am honest Davjon. We suffer - i think because we find it hard to talk about our feeling's and they get clogged up inside, instead of dealing with them and saying goodbye to them, which is what i try to do now when i am feeling anxious!

    LOL with the Xmas eve thing, My son gets a better night sleep than i do, i am awake half the night extremely excited for him to open his prezzies :)

  • I think acceptance plays a big part in getting better. If I can accept I've got a problem then I can deal with it better.

    The thing that gets me down is that simple things that I used to do (e.g. shopping and meetings etc) I now find that I can't.

    According to the course I went on, I'm supposed to 'pat myself on the back' when I manage it. However, that just feels stupid as it was something simple that I used to do.

  • Its not stupid Davjon, its a big thing for someone who is scared to do normal things they used to do. You should pat yourself on the back when you achieve this - because the more you get out and do stuff, The better you will feel, trust me. x

  • OMGOSH! Reading your blog Davjon & Boo1983, it has dawned on me, that you are both writing about ME! You have both described me EXACTLEY and now I dont know what to do or where to go with it! It's actually brought tears to my eyes and I dont know why!??

    I am a newbie to this site, and have been reading everyones blogs and answers before I decide whether to submit a blog myself. You have made up my mind for me. THANKYOU SO MUCH.

    kind regards. x

  • Hi Taybax

    I found this site and started reading and was glad to find out that I was 'normal' at last.

    You always think that you're the only one suffering and going through it but I found out that others have similar problems.

    Have a go at a blog, I have and it's great to hear the comments!

    Thanks

    Davjon

  • All the comments about not expressing yourself ring true with me too. I don't like drawing attention to myself either. Has anyone done any assertiveness groups? Maybe they would help along with finding a way to use your creativity. Why not try art if your finding the writing difficult? I'm just learning myself.

  • A Kechara healing Chakras might help strengthens mental health & well being. It Works for me- Try it for yourself.

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