Well I feel like crap, but couldn't stay in my bedroom feeling guilty because my boyfriends partner is off work sick and at home, can't let him see me like that I feel anxious about it..so I've got dressed and come out as if im working this afternoon.....really the last thing I feel like doing waiting for 3pm and my CBT....killing time
The latte (a skinny latte by the way) is lovely! The place is lovely its a Hilton so quite nice, there are people here but it's not crowded, just low voices and low music in the background...I'm sat at a comfy table and the barman insisted on bringing my latte over....all in all I kinda feel better, there are a lot of people here obviously on work business it takes me back to when that would have been me, not that long ago....I must look like I'm on work business too...shhhhh I'm not I'm on my favourite site amongst very special friends and that feels nice :)...
Looking around at people and the staff all getting on with their stuff ,how easy they make it look.....I did my hair put on a nice dress and so I am fitting in, certainly to look at....I feel relaxed, I think a sense of achievement, they don't have a clue I don't come out of my bedroom often, I smile ....
Im so pleased you pushed yourself............ it does feel better doesnt it??
You really have got to get out of your bedroom more.......... I know how this feels ,cos I do it........ but thats more to do with the fact that my mum chain smokes and the smoke plays up with my sinus's............ but I know that locking ourselfs in our bedrooms is not the answer......
So I think we have to make a deal with each other, not to do it!!
Im really pleased you came out and it sounds like a lovely way to while away some time!!
good luck with the cbt.............
xxx
• in reply to
Thank you Anne,
It's kinda surreal , but nice....if I hadn't had to do this I wouldn't have...I feel like I'm part of a movie scene or something, it's a while since I was in a situation like this , and if I had thought about it too much I would never have done it, that truly would have been a shame...
I'm comfortable and a couple of people have actually smiled at me.....for a split second I thought do they know I usually stay in my bedroom, I stopped myself as that is none sense. I have no idea about them and they have no idea about me...
:). Xxxxx
• in reply to
Well you just enjoy the normality for a while........... xx
Ps in fact I'm sure I'm going to have another latte....
I can stare into space deep in thought and no one bats an eyelid because it looks like I'm thinking about my next steps on a project of some kind...but I'm actually staring in disbelief that I am here and feeling this way..... Glad of the site and the people here, I feel like you are all with me....it really helps. xx
• in reply to
I just actually laughed out loud............ youve cheered me up!!
Id make that a de-caff though hun if I was you...... that there caffeine plays up havoc with me!!
This is VERY IMPROTANT business you know!!
Enjoy...........
xxxxxxxxxxx
• in reply to
I'm laughing because you understand!!!.
Well 2nd latte has been brought over....
Back to the project... Haha glad I cheered you
Although this illness can be character destroying it can also be character building, and through this illness I have become much more compassionate and non judgemental for that I am grateful...perhaps I go some way into making up for people we meet like the Adams family xxxxx
• in reply to
Most very definately.........I prob would have never found this site....... I found it when I was suffering at stephens house on my own one time..... And I blamed myself instead of looking at the situation I was in with them nutters!! lol
Now back to your project........ deadlines n all!! lol
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
• in reply to
Yes I came across it by chance when I looked up anxiety on the net...
Would you believe I would be having coffee with everyone in the Hilton , seriously it's a good way of getting out, not saying it will always work, but blogging on here has helped me today, just typing away makes it feel ok to stay here a while....knowing people will read this and maybe in some way it could help someone...it's a bonus to get responses and lovely....with no pressure on either side....
This project is becoming a great success for me....
Xxxx
• in reply to
Fantastic........... I think you are in line for some promotion!!
xxxx
• in reply to
I just nearly choked on my latte reading that !! Hahahahaahaha ..
Xxxx
Well done, you could go and get yourself something special at the shops too.
Nothing like a little pressie to make you feel better.
Have a great day, mines a decaf soya cappuccino
B
xxx
• in reply to
Haha yes , your a bad influence !!!
Xxx
• in reply to
Or chat up the barman if he's dishy
Have a great day,
B
xxxx
• in reply to
Haha I have checked them out, all a bit young for me..wouldn't do to get too adventurous...will stick to enjoying my latte for now..
Xx
Just a thought............ can you imagine if everyone else is actually doing exactly the same thing as you............. We just never know what everyone else is going through too!!
xxxxxx
Hahahaah so yes there's a thought....the mind boggles....
Now I an looking at people on their own wondering if they are on the same project....
I'm in charge I got the promotion !!! Hahahaha
Xxxxx
• in reply to
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Good Luck with the CBT.......
xxx
• in reply to
Xxx
Lol, you are undercover shhhhhhhh. I won't tell anyone.
Be proud of yourself, your doing your best and you haven't lost your sense of humour. I wish you all the best.
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Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
xx
What a difference a day makes............
Anxiety
In a constant cycle of convincing myself I'm dying going to the doctors and not trusting what they've told me- trapped in a cycle.
