Don't ever give up...well..maybe...but..NO

Don't ever give up...well..maybe...but..NO

As I sit, I think of you. No, I really do. The faceless and nameless posters on the forum, the person who posts and explains that they are having a panic attack in real-time, and they are very frightened…..I think of you. I often wonder what happens after the post, and when the terror subsides…how long are in you in the whirlwind as I call it. I know of the situations all too well.

I have them on and off here and there these days. Long gone is the agoraphobia and such, but the straight panic, feeling like the world goes out of focus….yea, I still get those days. Sometimes I feel like I cannot get enough air in my lungs. Many times, I realize as I panic, I take in air; it bloats, presses the diaphragm and gives the sensation of not getting enough air.

Other times it is the verge of becoming dizzy or having vertigo…sometimes I actually get that…mostly it’s my inner ear though. The symptom I get the least these days it the symptom that started it all so many years ago….the sick to the stomach, terrified to throw up symptom. Seems like a lifetime ago now.

I remember the helpless feeling. Alone, scared, yet rational enough to understand that this was not normal, even though I could no longer leave my house without getting sick to my stomach and feeling like I could not swallow. I know how you feel. Yes, indeed I do. I remember it well. Want to hear about OZ? Ok….I will tell you.

In 2003 I decided that I would go see a therapist, mental doctor….that type of Doctor. As scared as I was, I got dressed, threw on a suit and walked out my door. My hands tight to the steering wheel the whole 45 minute drive. I just kept telling myself that it would all be over soon. This visit would heal me.

I walked in and sat across the desk from the Doctor. He asked me questions and I answered them. After a bit, he told me we were done for today. I was in shock! I explained that I thought he would do some test on my brain, a scan…something to see what was wrong. I was told I was a well-rounded sane individual suffering from General Anxiety Disorder. I sadly stood up and realized there was no savior, no OZ behind the curtain…I was deep in this alone. I look at the pictures of me below…all those years from then until now scrambled across the page…the years have crushed me in some ways…..Yet I am still here. If you are reading this…you are still here too…don’t ever give up…please 

Skip

Featured Content

Join our community

The community helps everyone affected by anxiety by providing support, information and guidance.

Follow

Featured by HealthUnlocked

6 Replies

oldestnewest
  • That is a very emotional post and make me cry. Don't give up.... never. Take care.

  • Lifeless100, Why am I always drawn repeatedly to your posts. Almost as if I wait in anticipation of what you may be thinking about next. I always seem to catch your posts within minutes of them being on the forum. Maybe in some way, we have thought about life in a deeper meaningful way then most. I have always been one to want answers for things that happen to us in life. They say we have a choice but do we always?

    You are right, there is no "Oz" waiting behind the curtain. There is no magical cure for anxiety. There is only ourselves and what we have the power to be. Yes, I'm still here too but maybe it's because I never really was gone. I was just in Never, Never land for a while. But I'm back and planning to stay for quite a while.

    Thanks again Lifeless100 for allowing me to think about where I've been, how far I've come and where I am going. Giving up, is never an option.

  • Lifeless 100..i came here just now because ive been having an anxiety attack for the past 40 minutes. Accepting, letting it float, replaying the good words of kind folks on this forum, knowing its anxiety and I cant get hurt, still didn't stop the cycle. Im not a fan of this. Wonky symptom thing

    The POUNDING heart, and bodily sensations were sure and steady.

    I need to leave in 10 minutes . No rhyme or reason for me to be anxious. Old habits die hard. So I came here for reassurance and familiarity, and here is your post. Like a hug. 1 inderal, help from my friends and i will make that appointment! Thanks!

  • I just started a new book called DARE. It seems to be helping a bit for me. It’s nice to have tools that teach us how not to hide from or fight anxiety but how to make it work like it’s supposed to. So we don’t fear it anymore. If you can, check it out. It’s been helpful for me.

  • Bob Proctor has good short videos about the origin of fear and doubt.

  • Wouldn't it be great if you could apply the model of drug/alcohol in house rehab to other things like anxiety treatment as opposed to seeing psychologists for an hour once or twice a month.it takes time for people to open up and the 1 hour session just doesent cut it(for me anyway)

    A 2 week or 30 day intensive program in a group setting,I think would help a lot of people

    Has anyone ever heard of this?I'd sign up for sure.

You may also like...