Wise words from a doctor.

[hinhan07]

I used to make doctors appointments every week.

Whilst hooked upto a 12 lead ecg machine I started crying. In my mind i was dying. Also thinking about my methods of suicide for when I got home...I wrote a note and everything. You see I had lost 3 friends within the space of two years due to very bizzare circumstances...I felt like I was next. One of them took her own life due to depression (health anxiety depression) and yet just 4 hours of her taking her own life...we were uploading photos together onto facebook. She was so happy....why did she do it ? She did it because she wasn't happy...no one listened and felt enough was enough. Her family were and are absolutely devastated as you can imagine. I felt like suicide was the best option for me.

The day that changed my life is when my doctor turned around and said to me.

You're a healthy 21 year old Scottish girl. Your life expectancy is 89...do you want to live the next 60 odd years living like this ? That's when I began to settle.

No one knows that worrying about your health can lead to such catastrophic circumstances in your mind.

Doctors I find...even though Theres not much they can do...they are not understanding enough. " here's some anti depressants and diazepam...now get on with your day" as if it's that simple ?

One doctor refused to see my friend because she "was wasting his time"

I find that heartbreaking. I beat health anxiety...but my friend never..

On her headstone at the cemetary there's a picture of a rainbow. The day the doctor said "are you going to spend the next 60 years living like this" as I walked home...a big rainbow appeared in the sky.

I always took that as a sign...she may not be here in person. But she's here....in some way.

When you have anxiety or depression...never ever let people make you feel like you're nothing...as to someone...you're their everything.

[Hidden]

Awww what a nice post, sorry to hear about your friends how truly awful.

I note your Scottish, where were you born and where do you live now. I'm Scottish also. 🌷 x

[hinhan07 in reply to Hidden]

Aww bless <3

Born in Dundee. Still live here

It's nice to hear of people who live close by xxx

[Hidden in reply to hinhan07]

Dundee ... I'm in Fife! 😆

[hinhan07 in reply to Hidden]

Omg you're so close !Hahaha only across the water ! Xxx

[Hidden in reply to hinhan07]

Yes I can see you, I'm waving!! 🙌 x

[hinhan07 in reply to Hidden]

Hahaha! A I was actually in Fife yesterday! So strange xxx

[Hidden in reply to hinhan07]

Where were you yesterday?

[hinhan07 in reply to Hidden]

Went to Anstruther...mthe walks are amazing!

Walked for 3 miles. Xx

[Hidden in reply to hinhan07]

Oh excellent we usually go there in the summer and have a fish. Did you have a chippy? 😆

[hinhan07 in reply to Hidden]

Ohhh I love doing that too.

I actually did! Hahaha a battered pizza !

I do love that place.

Will be going back in the summer. Have a wee walk around the cows. Xxx

[allnew2me in reply to Hidden]

That's freaky. I have family up there!

[hinhan07 in reply to allnew2me]

Really?!

[allnew2me in reply to hinhan07]

There aren't as many left now as there were when I was growing up and I haven't visited since I was pregnant with my 2nd child (he's 8 😮). There are a few in Kirkcaldy, one in burnt island and there's a couple left in cupar. We used to stay at Pettycur bay in between burnt island and Kirkcaldy so most were in easy reach xx

[allnew2me in reply to allnew2me]

Each year was a race to see who managed to get the first strawberry tart. They only taste right in Scotland 😂 xx

[hinhan07 in reply to allnew2me]

Hahaha that's brilliant!

Where abouts in the UK do you live ?

You can't beat a strawberry tart.

I used to take walks in cupar. It's so pretty xxx

[allnew2me in reply to hinhan07]

I live right down on SW coast in Dorset.

Been a looooong time since I had a strawberry tart and a meat pie. ..not at the same time tho! May be time to bring my kids up and introduce two of them to them. One was when he was up 😁xx

[Hidden in reply to allnew2me]

Omg im in Kirkcaldy, I worked in Cupar and passed through Burntisland today!! 😲😲😲😲😲 x

[allnew2me in reply to Hidden]

It's a small world! Is the pool still open in burnt island? Xx

[Hidden in reply to allnew2me]

Yes pool is still there, we were in Aberdour today... you ever been to St Andrews?

[allnew2me in reply to Hidden]

St Andrews is very familiar. I'll have to ring my gran tomorrow and see why. For a while when I was preschool and infant age I lived with my grandparents and they had a camper van. We'd spend weeks going round different places. There's so many pics of new in fields, on hills in little streams with wellies etc from it but I've no idea where they all are. The only thing atm that St Andrews makes me think of is an indoor market. It's pretty large but at the same time I'm thinking no its not its some where else. I remember visiting Glasgow, Aberdeen, Edinburgh lots as we had family there. Rosyth, Inverkeithing, Inverness, leven, Stirling. It's bugging me why st Andrews us familiar. There must be a reason but I won't know till tomorrow now. And as for where this market is I can't remember at all what it's called I'm now certain it's not st Andrews xx

[Hidden in reply to allnew2me]

Can't recall St Andrews having a market! I was sick there in August, that was the start of me being unwell! 😢

[allnew2me in reply to allnew2me]

Definitely not st Andrews for that. Was kinross xx

[allnew2me in reply to allnew2me]

Just had a look at images of St Andrews and nothing looks familiar 😣wasn't that where Prince William went to uni? Xx

[allnew2me in reply to allnew2me]

Answered my own question on Google! ! Maybe that's why it's familiar xx

[Agora1]

Beautifully said. Very touching. Have a good day and look for the rainbows

to come.

[hinhan07 in reply to Agora1]

Aww thank you. I do believe there's more after we're gone xxx