Back in 2014 I had a funny turn and was never quite the same again. After numerous tests with nothing coming back as abnormal and spending a lot of money going Private with the same results as the NHS it was suggested I speak to someone for my Health Anxiety. Well I did that and things did improve for me and my physical symptoms (chest pain, heart palpitations, weird breathing, funny pains in my head, blurred vision) have pretty much all gone. So far so good...
Being in a better head space we are trying for a baby and while getting a scan done in 2016 for something related to that they discovered some small gall stones in my gall bladder but said it was nothing to worry about - so, oddly for me, I didn't. 10 months after this diagnosis I had my first gall stone attack, it was pure hell. 2 months ago I had another 2 attacks within 48hrs of each other - again I have never felt anything like this before, the pain is phenomenal and I ended up in A&E on liquid morphine until the pain subsided 6hrs later.
However, despite all my symptoms my gastro specialist is not convinced it is the gall stones and has referred me to a surgeon to see if the pain I now experience daily in my stomach (just below my breastbone) will improve if they take the gall bladder out. The problem is that the gastro specialist has not given me any idea of what else it could be if it is not the gall stones so of course my anxiety and stress levels are steadily increasing. I am now back with my GP waiting for the surgeon's appointment. I'm planning on calling my GP to talk this through but you all know how hard it can be to actually speak to your GP so that is also stressing me - getting through to her.
I'm afraid to eat anything in case it causes another attack so I have lost 21lbs since the second attack 2 months ago. I'm scared that there is something else going on and I have cancer. I'm a tight little ball of stress and anxiety and this is obviously going to make the real gall stone problem worse - are these pains in my stomach now just that - stress?
With the stress and worry about the gall stones of course trying properly for a baby is out of the question and I'm getting older so now I am stressing about that as well on top of everything else.
I'm having a little freak out and feel like I'm slowly slipping back to square one which is not where I want to be at all!
Apologies for the rant but if anyone can understand anxiety and where it leads us you all can- thank you!