I'm getting help

[MermaidMomma]

I've been mentally unraveling steadily for a week/week and a half now.

I'm on (the wrong) meds and in therapy but I'm just getting worse and been depressed too - and I don't get depressed. Anxiety high as fuck, yes. But not depression.

I went to the ER this week for some weird stupid shit and they told me to call my psych and therapist.

So I did.

The medical assistant at my psych office said that they're switching my Dr and a new one will be there in October some time, so I wouldn't be seeing my Dr anymore. They know I'm having a rough time and can't even get me an appointment. And release(?) me from my drs care.

I know I need help but idk where to go to get it. I don't know what I have to do. I feel like the only way to get help is attempting suicide and I'm not suicidal. All week I've been screaming out for help. Literally sometimes.

Earlier this week, I texted a crisis number.

Tonight, I called a local crisis hotline, which happens to be associated with my psych/therapist practice, and they suggested I come in to the 247 crisis office and check myself in.

My mom is getting on a plane first thing in the morning to come help DH with the kids and I'm going to get help. For 3-5 days.

I'm scared to leave my family.. that's where all of my anxiety stems from and that's what I'm doing - leaving my family.

I'm scared shitless. I'm second-guessing my decision. I doing the right thing? Am I overreacting? What should I expect? Can they even help me? Wtf am I doing? So many questions.

Has anyone ever done this before? Can you share your experiences? I'll also take hugs because idk if I've mentioned it, but I'm fucking terrified.