Today was soooooo hard for me . I honestly don't see how I'm going to get through this. I feel so bad for myself . I feel like my life has been robbed from me . No one around me understands . I have had thoughts like "who am I " "is life really happening" "is God telling me my time is coming" "why do I even exist" and it just sends me into the scAriest loneliest place not to mention I'm a teacher so I have to put on a front for my students which is sooooooooo hard. To have my own voice scare me as I'm giving instructions or think about my voice so much that my tongue feels heavy and big and I can't pronounce my words right . I have cried a lot today yall ... I just want my life back man . No one should live like this no one deserves this . I just pray God has mercy on me and gives me happiness and some kind of peace . I really need someone to talk to cause I'm hurting and I feel like I can't do this anymore.
I need someone to talk to: Today was soooooo... - Anxiety Support
I am feeling SO sorry that you are experiencing such intense anxiety, KrissNique - very simple grounding exercises might bring you back to yourself. I was a teacher for 8 years and during that time I was suffering from the fallout of domestic abuse and rape. It's SO hard to hide how you are feeling, but somehow, my students made me forget about my miserable married life when I was teaching. Wishing you all the best x
KrissNique, You will get through this. It may not seem like it at times but one day this will all be behind you. It's okay to feel bad for yourself. Who wouldn't when no one around us seems to understand. It's a lonely place to be in except you do have the forum. There is always someone here to hold out their hand to you. You are not alone. We understand all too well. We've all been down the same road as you, some are even still on that journey.
You need to turn your thoughts around for your sake and the sake of your students who believe me can pick up that something is wrong. Anxiety has nothing to do with God telling you that your time is coming. You exist because you make a different in a child's life and that is important.
I agree that it is a difficult thing to live with but there are so many other illnesses and disorders that far out rank Anxiety. Not to belittle it but to make you realize that it is something that you can do something about. There's no death sentence that comes with this disorder. It may feel as if we die a thousand deaths each day but our bodies are fine. It is our minds that need healing. We need to retrain our thoughts to think positively towards health anxiety. Once all tests are done and proven to be negative, then we need to start healing our mind. This can be done on our own, with brief medication and therapy. It's a process of elimination in getting to the point of knowing what we are dealing with.
Right now, it's like going down a road of pot holes and detours and not really knowing where you are or how you will get there. But then all of a sudden a new black topped road will appear ahead of you and the driving will be smooth and comfortable.
One step at a time KrissNique or we get overwhelmed. Cry if that helps or lean on our shoulders and we will listen and we will understand and we will comfort you. xx
Your words are very comforting .... and I really do thank you for them . I just can't wait until it's all behind me so I can at least enjoy a semi normal life again. Becus my thoughts make me feel trapped like there's nothing really to life and it's soooo disheartening because let me tell you that is sooooo far from my personality it's not funny I'm usually the strong one and well put together . Lately I feel so helpless out of control and scared ... but your words help. It helps to talk to ppl like me .
Wooooow you sound soooooo much like me in 2015.... I'm so sorry you're going thru this man damn... this post just bought back so many memories for me... I remember being like that and feeling like I was stuck that way forever.. I got the point I had to start doing grounding techniques just to remind myself that I was real, I would look at my daughter and cry because I thought she was a figment of my imagination smh that's one of the scariest things I've ever been thru and it's extremely lonely because NO ONE understands unless it has happened to them.. I'm so happy you found this blog because finding this blog was the beginning of my recovery and I didn't even know it.. you know you can message me anytime, please don't hesitate. I want to help you get thru this