Today was soooooo hard for me . I honestly don't see how I'm going to get through this. I feel so bad for myself . I feel like my life has been robbed from me . No one around me understands . I have had thoughts like "who am I " "is life really happening" "is God telling me my time is coming" "why do I even exist" and it just sends me into the scAriest loneliest place not to mention I'm a teacher so I have to put on a front for my students which is sooooooooo hard. To have my own voice scare me as I'm giving instructions or think about my voice so much that my tongue feels heavy and big and I can't pronounce my words right . I have cried a lot today yall ... I just want my life back man . No one should live like this no one deserves this . I just pray God has mercy on me and gives me happiness and some kind of peace . I really need someone to talk to cause I'm hurting and I feel like I can't do this anymore.