Someone please just talk to me

There are so many things I want to do in life, so many things I want to do TODAY but I am just paralyzed by this terrible feeling of fear. I feel so discouraged. I am on meds and they never help. I want to do so much!!! Im so bored of my life. I'm bored of sitting in the house or in the car and doing nothing but being scared. I'm bored of my roommates, I miss so many people and want to see them. And you want to know something terrible? Ive never admitted this to anyone but I dont love my boyfriend that way anymore. But I need him to take care of me because I cant take care of myself. Isnt that awful? How do I get out of this terrible situation?

[kenster1]

hi do you have family you could go to,sorry to read that your down some of the friends your missing could you go for a visit maybe.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

I don't have any family. I can't go see my friends because I am too scared and my anxiety makes me physically ill.

[kenster1 in reply to Hidden]

would a friend come over and maybe you could go for a coffee and a chat.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

Also thank you kenster. maybe I will try that.

[Indigojoe in reply to Hidden]

When anyone of this forum says they have NO FAMILY, does that mean you are an orphan?

You were never in a foster family, or no relatives offered to raise you? There are NO blood relatives?

[Hidden in reply to Indigojoe]

I'm an orphan, yes. My parents both died when I was 5, and then I moved in with my grandparents on my mom's side. My grandmother passed away when I was 13 and my grandfather is now too sick and out of it to really help or offer support. I don't have contact with my dad's side of the family, I never have. I didn't realize people saying they had no family was a common thing on this forum.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I do have 1 uncle lol.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Dearest someone, I am so sorry for all the losses in your life. I can better understand now why you are filled with fear. Having been a foster mother

to my daughter before adopting her at age 10, I can tell you that she suffered

from separation anxiety. Losing people you love at a young age in your life,

leaves incompleteness of "if only". My daughter went through a period where

she wouldn't even go to school because she wanted to be with me. I'm sure your

relationship with your grandparents might have been the same especially with

your grandmother. The mother figure becomes an important part of a young

girl's self esteem and confidence. It's the person who is there for you through

thick and thin. It is very easy to develop anxiety because you had already lost your

parents as my daughter had.

Thank you for sharing an intimate part of your journey. I know how difficult that

must have been. In my eyes, you are not an orphan. You are surrounded by

this virtual family who love and care about you. Maybe now we can help you

more knowing what you have been through. I've always cared. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I swear you should be a therapist, you are 100% right about that close relationship I had with my grandmother. Watching her die slowly definitely added to my trauma and my fear of death now. Thank you for all of your great advice. I'm doing better today. I'm having a few good days in the bad ones lately.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

xx

[Agora1]

I certainly can understand the position that you are in "someone"..

The fear is so powerful that it takes over our rational thinking and

literally paralyzes us. I even understand how your feelings could change

for your boyfriend. You are trying to survive and are clinging onto him that

after a while he really has become your enabler and not your lover.

You know that realistically, no one is going to give you that assurance

that "going ahead" is going to be the key for you. That is, except you

believing in that. It will be the most unbelievably difficult thing that you

may ever have to do but the reward of freedom and finding yourself again

will be amazing.

The answer is not in medication, that may only take the edge of the fear (if that).

Therapy can help guide you in taking those first few steps forward..BUT you will

have to be the one to follow through. I can almost feel your fear when you read

this. Just the thought of CHANGE is frightening. You are going to have to start out

slow. Small steps.. as if you are dipping your toes in cold water. Once your body

gets use to the feeling it will accept it and you can continue on.

Right now "someone" it's going to have to be about changing your mind thought.

Everything you feel and think about is something that has been going on a long time

that it is ingrained in your mind as being the only option.

These are just my thoughts through my own experience. I know in my heart that once

you get past a certain point of "no return" you will be unstoppable as to what lies ahead

for you. xx

[Indigojoe in reply to Agora1]

nice!!!

[Amz1987]

I’m going to be starting to see a psychologist in a couple of weeks and I’m hoping that will help a little. For me my anxiety stems from my health issues I’ve been having and has now turned into a fear of death and leaving my 4 young children with no mother. I have not personally spoken to anyone about this other than on here, I don’t want to burden my husband or family with any of this. Have you thought of seeing someone? It really can make a world of different, they can give you coping strategies etc

[Indigojoe in reply to Amz1987]

not only is it NOT a burden to talk to your husband, but your mother or your mother in law or an Aunt, would totally understand.

Health anxiety kicks in for many woman when they have kids. Give your relatives a change to support you in this while you are waiting for your appointment with the doc.

Chances are they have gone through this themselves.

[Amz1987 in reply to Indigojoe]

Thank you ❤️ My mum has cancer and my father in law has just been diagnosed with cancer as well and the drs have given him 12 months and he’s refused treatment and going the natural path. (Which has added extra anxiety, my mum is only 58 and fil 64) So I guess I just feel a little silly to talk to them about it, all my family and friends live more than 5 hours away so I can’t even just pop in and have a heart to heart with anyone.

[Jackaroo]

Oh dear... do not feel alone as I feel exactly like u. I don’t need to be looked after but I certainly need some one in my life. Anxiety is a shocking illness along with fear. I fear illness and death and think most days about it. I fear something will happen to my sons or grandsons.. I go to bed at night thinking I won’t wake up. Many people think this way though won’t admit it. As I’ve written in several posts, the best thing is to keep busy. If there is nothing to do, find something to do. Paint, garden, paint your bedroom, anything.... but always keep busy. I use to have HUGE panic attacks every day all day for years. I could hardly cope with them. I’d get up and walk around, draw, file photos on the computer. Now u may laugh, I started taking turmeric mixed in Greek yoghurt every single day with out fail, 20 almonds and four dates every single day without fail and have never had a panic attack since. Almonds and dates are suppose to be good for the heart etc etc etc. for some one that had panic attacks on a daily basis for 30 years and now has nothing i put it down to what I eat and take on a daily basis. In fact never been sick now for three years and before always had tummy problems. Remember diet also plays a big part along with keeping busy and active.

That’s my thoughts lololol

[gbn_ in reply to Jackaroo]

Jackaroo, great response. Very true, the right kinds of foods and supplements can surely help. And yes, many people have these thoughts, it just "hits" a little differently with those of us who are prone to being anxious.

[Indigojoe in reply to Jackaroo]

so kind.......great response.........I'm off to get Greek Yoghurt and will count out 20 almonds ad 4 dates.........whatever it takes..........to NOT have another freaking flip out......

[Jackaroo in reply to Indigojoe]

And u have to have every single day.. plus turmeric. I swear to god I’ve never been sick since I’ve been eating them. I bought a huge packet of almonds and dates at the Dubai airport two weeks ago so I won’t be running out of them for awhile... unfortunately I go to Holland on Sunday and it’s a direct flight so no stopping in Dubai... oh well. U get better and keep yourself occupied 24 /7. Best thing since sliced bread... I promise.

[Indigojoe in reply to Jackaroo]

I have the supplies you have mentioned...........

The dates and almonds. ANd I now make a smoothie with the yoghurt and TUMERIC, and I THANK YOU> I hope to report back in a few weeks that my symptoms have been reduced.....

IT can NOT hurt!

[Want2BHappy3]

You need to keep changing your medication/Doctors until you find one that works. I hope your in counseling too?

[Nevertheless]

Well with therapy, you may be able to figure out a plan that you can take care of yourself. I have anxiety and depression too. We have a hard time getting it together but if we make a list and write it down, we can work on one thing at a time and make some progress to give us to courage to make it to the next step. It's okay to be scared. I feel it too but the way to get past it is to make yourself do SOMETHING> Just start with one thing. Talk to yourself and say, at this moment, I will go and do one thing and then go do it. No matter what is going on. DO IT> I have to do this for myself because I can get wandering in my brain then wandering the yard outside pondering life instead of doing something FOR ME> Yep, that's right for you. Think of yourself as a mighty queen instead of a pauper. Now for the boyfriend thing, why don't you love him? You know love doesn't stay heated up all the time. That feeling of floating on clouds you are my crush fades out. So maybe it's just your perspective. You are growing and not floating. Try to see the good things in him and maybe even try to see how you can calm yourself down (yes you can do it) and be less selfish. Hate to deliver the bad news but this is selfishness and somewhat childish. You have to decide that it's time to quit this and grow up. Get some books on self esteem and getting things orderly and use them. That's what I did. and reading the bible helps to organize your feelings and see where you can change and give you the power to do it. Yes you can do this and you must. You cannot waste your life. You are not allowed!!!! One thing at a time instead of a whole bunch of gook. Break it down but then do the action. It's possible. I am a living breathing person who deals with this VERY THING> this is my method. A good book is You have what it Takes by Walter Mausbaum. Any books by him might be good. At first it might make you feel like failure (that's the depression) but you are not!!!! You may not be able to have someone else's life but guess what? Fathom this, they had the same experience as you! SO read up Chick. I'm here for you but you have to be there for you. BE IT> DO IT>

[Nevertheless in reply to Nevertheless]

You cannot afford to say nevertheless thy will be done and not mine. NO> for you , for us , we have to say OUR WILL BE DONE AND BE FIRM STANDING IN YOUR OWN FAITH> Otherwise you will be telling your brain to give up. Nope, change your name to WARRIOR> Then you will have great success and be PROUD of yourself. Got it? Okay now Chick. or BRO. Don't know. Either way. Get on it.

[Hidden in reply to Nevertheless]

Don't ever apologize for giving me tough love, I KNOW I need it. Thank you for all of this great advice. I know I'm being childish. I'm 23 years old, it's time to take care of myself. It's just so hard when I'm sick.