Hello! I have huge anxiety now, because I had fight with my friend, we talked later, but he told some nasty things. I didn't tell him that it was hurtful, just listened. Than I gave him handshake and went away. We say hello on street and he is not such a close friend so it is fine. But recently I started to ruminate about - what should I told in thar conversation, that I was hurt, that he was wrong etc. I almost want to meet again and tell - Listen, you hurt me a lot.
But I want to find inner peace to not do that. It would not change a thing. We will never ever again be close and I also don't want it. It is enough that we say each other hello. But sometimes I see hi on street and I am so friendly, I smile, say excessivly positively- Hi! And when I am home I think- I should have been more angry, I shouldn't be so friendly. Maybe he thinks that all this fight didn't hurt me, but I want him to know it did and I am still hurt. Please, help me to calm a little bit. I didn't slept night thinking maybe I need to meet him and say again - you hurt me a lot.
But instead of it I want to learn let go. Just let go this need explain how hurtful it was. I even drank Xanax tonight, because I had such an anxiety over it - that I need to meet him, sit down and say - you hurt me.
But than I think - would it really help? More than that I just need to learn let go. Maybe somebody can relate.. Thank you a lot!!! T5iday is not a good day...