Tips to stop rumination and constant negativity

As you are probably aware the last few months have been a massive struggle to a tipping point yesterday. Feel relatively ok this morning but as usual the morning demons kicked in when all was looking forward to 2013. I know the way dperession works is that it attacks every though process and the way things are at the moment I see now way out of the mess my life's in but anything small or big to help would be really helpful.

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  • Hi. flat. Once again we come upon that word 'struggle'. It comes up with 'fighting' or trying to 'get rid of' .You are an intelligent person. Can you see that fighting and struggling use up enormous amounts of energy and make you more tired and anxious? Our natural instinct is to fight. "You must fight this 'thing', you can't let it get the better of you'. I advocate complete and utter NON fighting and struggling. TOTAL acceptance of how you feel however it goes against your natural instinct. Depression (depletion) is anxiety coupled with tiredness. Your batteries are flat and need recharging. Rest as much as you can, but at the same time try and move toward recovery (which is inevitable) by accepting the dreaded symptoms. Give up the struggle. I must say there are other ways and we can only speak from our own experience.

    Do your best, flat, that is all you can do at the moment. Very best wishes. jonathan.

  • Thanks for your reply. I think that's what makes me feel helpless at times becuase I recognise what is going on but feel so helpless to overcome it. My mind is tired of constantly fighting absolutely everything that is going on in my head 24 / 7 which has me on empty big time.

    Your anaolgy of giving up on the struggle was soemthing I felt like doing today but I need to try try try and give up in a better way and jut accept that this is me and I'm not a bad person. I've got through another day and feeling safe hoping for a good mites rest and a new day tomorrow. Thank you xxx

  • Hi flatwhite

    Those demons you talk about , I think for alot , well I no for me they must sit there waiting for me to wake up !

    What I do or try is when they start , tell them to "do one " to put it politely

    As you started to say , you woke up feeling ok , then they started , I get that to & often think have we got so used to them been there & giving ourselfs such a tough time that its like the brain is saying "hang on there is something missing here " o thats it , best start worrying , I cant let myself feel ok !

    I am the same & have to keep telling myself over & over again that worrying about something is not going to make it any better , just worse in most cases , its not easy , but you have to start to change your thinking , it takes time & lots of energy , but slowly the more you do it , bit by bit it gets better

    If you look at all the things going of in your head & ask what will worrying about them do ? will it change anything ? that is something i am always having to ask myself , & the answer is always no ! so then I start to take each worry , some I put down as they are just me making something out of nothing & the others that need to be dealt with , I take just one at a time & deal with it , i cannot take more than that at once as it would be to much , but i can just take one !

    I have things coming up & I am having to concerntrate really hard not to let them in , as they are not happening yet , it may not be as bad as I think it will be & when they do happen I have to tell myself I will deal with it then , bit by bit asking for support when i need it

    May be none of this will help , but I no how you feel & this is how I try to deal with it , i have better days than others , but the better ones I have show me i can do it & I try & remember those on the bad days

    On a brighter note , How is your little boy ?

    Have you got anything planned for today ?

    I am here with this flippin cold , trying hard to accept that is all it is even though I feel rough lol

    Glad you are posting , that is a real positive !

    whywhy

  • Hi why.why

    Thanks for your reply I really appreciate it as always. The demons kicked I hard today, really hard. I know what you mean about telling them to stop and kicking them or as Jonathan has said try and accept them. At times today I just gave up and readied my self for the end. I sit here now typing it and feel like a different person but this afternoon while driving to pick my son up I'd resolved myself to just get through the week, see my son on my birthday on Sunday and just end things. I can't face work on Monday, I couldn't face life and everything associated with it.

    Even after a rough time mentally this afternoon spending time with the little fella cheered me up and the bedtime routine and cuddle where the highlight of my day they really where. As I said to Jonathan if life was as easy as that I could cope but unfortantly it isn't :(

  • I think I,ll change my name to "analogy man"......I,m really a zen buddhist monk ((ha ha I wish).....

    Analogies or drawing scenarios always helped me.....

    So....A car lasts longer and is happier if run on low revs, tickin merrily away...on the other hand put your foot to the floor and that engine will rev its head off, overheat and eventually blow up!!!!!

    What does your rev counter read flatwhite-----try as we all must try--to take our foot off that accelarator..................xxxx

    (wasn,t that bad was it?)

  • Thanks for your analogy and comment. Before I finished for Xmas I think my foot was to the floor but the car was out of control. Now on the week and half off I've taken my foot off the peddle and someone else is driving I think, feels like that file speed and things are going out of tcontrol.

    Suppose just want to take control and struggling at the minute. Xxxx

  • Hiya white,

    I know the feeling. The best way is to do something that requires all you attention. Don't do something which allows your mind to wander while you do it. Do something like sort out your bills, balance your cheque book, clean out that cupboard you've been meaning to, organize those pictures which have been sitting in the album for ages. If you do something that requires all your focus and attention, you generally won't have time to ruminate and replay negative thoughts in your head. By the time your done with your task, you'll probably find yourself feeling loads better.

    Give it a try. Best of luck!

  • Thanks for your comment. Struggled a lot today but had son this evening and family meal which helped a little. The little things are the hardest at the minute and that's before I even think about dreaded work on Monday :(

  • Thanks for your reply. I agree in lots of ways that I need to astart accepting that this is part of me and try and accept it. Days are very turbulent like today with extreme lows and the mid point like this evening. Feel like a nit of a ticking time bomb. If only I coud tame this wretched thing before it really did some damage :(

  • Hi Flatwhite, Glad you made it through the night :) what a fantastic thing I see...you asking for something to do!! wish you were here, I could find plenty lol. Seriously I had to literally throw myself in the shower this morning !!! and that I'm afraid is that. Keep posting love, then we can keep up with you Love and Hugs x Ella x

  • Thanks as always for your reply. Madeit through another day, I don't know how, and t times gave up literally and resolved to enjoy the last few days I have left. Feel better this evening and in a safe place and quite " normal" hoping I wake up tomorrow with a bit more brightness xxxx

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