I Need Help : Is this normal or not I don't... - Anxiety Support

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I Need Help

Is this normal or not I don't know I get so confused my bf for the past 3 years he touches me when iam asleep like he even puts my underwear down I wake up to find him touching me sometimes he has he's dick out. I all ways put it at the back of my mind I never told this to my mum there is times he says to me I like it and I move more close to him. I don't know as I am asleep and 2 nights ago I was asleep I woke up with him with he's dick close to my bum my underwear was down not all the way I was trying to ignore he notest I was awake and said if I was ok or if I was pissed off with him I said just hurry up he got pissed off. I only told him to hurry up to get it over with. He don't do this all the time now or so I think. he has done this more like every few nights a few months back he would all way do this every few nights or 2 nights in a row. I don't know what to do

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Glitter angel. Please listen to me sweet NO ONE and I mean NO ONE. has any right to touch your body whether asleep or awake unless you give your CONSENT. which means if you say yes. What he is doing is non consensual abuse. And no one has the right to do this. I have four grown daughters, and if any one of them told me this, I would strongly advise them to leave him asap. Please please, value yourself and your body. This is not your fault. You never have to do anything that you do not want to even if it is your boyfriend. If he gets mad because you say no or hurry up he is very wrong. He knows he is wrong too, and my guess is he is lying to you about you liking it. He has absolutely no right at all to touch you when your asleep. That is just freaky. Please I cannot tell you what to do. But try and speak to someone soon Your mum or anyone you trust. He is abusing you ! Take care x and be safe. Hugs

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My dearest glitterangel, I totally agree with "fragile58" on her advice to you. Every word

she says is the truth.. no one owns your body but you. He has crossed the line when you

are asleep. Respect for yourself must always take high priority. I'm really sorry to hear

this is going on. You've gone through so much in your young life that you now need to

live the fairytale journey. I agree that you need to turn to someone you trust before

this goes any further. It is abuse.

I am so glad you reached out to us glitterangel. You know that this has always been your

safe place to come to where we welcome you with open arms because we care so much.

Don't be afraid, follow your gut feeling and do what's right. Love, Agora1 xxx

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Advice from Agora1 is always spot on glitterangel. Please listen and find your fighting spirit to stop this. We are all behind you. I read your long story over the years. I hadn’t read it before I commented. But I am saddened and shocked. I’m going to be honest now. I’ think you sound completely able and intelligent young woman. But men are dragging you down. I also have been there too. With support of people who don’t smoke drugs and dis respect you I totally think you can realise all your dreams. You are worth it. Don’t think you are anything less than the wonderful person you are. Even tho you may be made to believe otherwise. Please put your children and you first. You can do this. You really can. I didn’t think I could but I did. Women are very strong spirited, anxiety or not. Hugs

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Thank u it was not easy posting this and I feel bad for posting it but I know deep down its not normal what he does

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Yes of course u do . And from all that u have come through u deserve better. I can see that over the years a lot of friends on here have supported you. I suffer from anxiety too and don’t post but I do look regularly and try to help at times with others problems over the years. I admire your asking for help I wish I could. It atakes a lot to open up. You deserve better

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Thank u

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glitterangel, I know how difficult that must have been for you to open up to such an

intimate question. I am glad that you trust us enough. Keeping you in my thoughts

and hope you make the right decision for yourself and your children. xx

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Thank u

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Good that you feel safe and comfortable asking. Obvious questions are what is he doing in your bed if you feel you don't trust him, or have questions about his behaviour. You are the queen and law of the land of your own body. Suggestions are not going to be helpful to you, so, just hear this. Follow your instincts that something is not right. Is this new behaviour...you say you have been with him for three years. Since you were 22 years old?

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I been with him 8 years he startd doing this 3 years back on and off

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It's supposed to be making love. A shared activity that brings you both pleasure. It is not under any circumstances an opportunity for him to take advantage of you. Aren't you afraid to go to sleep? He sees you as an object, please leave and stay else where. Talk to your Mum. I'm so glad you brought this to us glitterangel. Let us know hoe it turns out. I can't emphise this enough, be careful. Pam

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A few months back I was scared to sleep as he used to do that every few nights or sometimes 2 nights in row he has felt bad for doing it he starts saying he's wired and so on I end up saying no u are not as I feel bad for him why I feel bad for him I don't know I even feel bad for posting this here but deep down I know its not normal

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You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. This isa form of abuse and he knows it.

Try not to send him mixed messages. If he continues, leave him

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Ok but iam stuck as iam trying to get a job so I can live

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If he thinks you are dependent on him for money or anything else he will continue to abuse you.

Do you have a friend you can stay with while you look for a job?

How old is he glitterangel?

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How old is he glitterangel?

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Hi again glitterangel. Is your bf much older than you?

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He's 1 year older

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You’re probably so beautifully all peacefully sleeping. Tell him you don’t like it if he does it again tell him it’s over.

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I told him to stop but he says that iam makeing him feel like a weirdo and so on

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If he keeps doing it that is what makes him a weirdo. I don’t think it’s weird. You been dating him three years. Your hot and he probably thinks wow my girl is so hot. She mine. She peacefully sleeping not talking back hahah. . However. It makes it weird if you think it’s weird. So, he needs to stop or he is classified as weird.

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You need to have a sit down talk with him, men sometimes think cause you live with them, sex is a given? Tell him you need your sleep. I hear about couples who schedule sex this way you both have something to look forward too.

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I told him to stop but he starts saying I make him feel like a weirdo and so on

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Don't fall for it, he's trying to make himself the Victim? Stand you're ground, if You don't it won't Stop. If he won't listen? Then maybe he's not the one for you? Someone who really cares for you will respect your wishes? I know easier said than done? But you seem miserable?

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Iam unhappy

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You don't have anywhere to go to? Call and find a shelter for abused woman.

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Hate to say this...if he tries it again? Call the police, but he will be arrested

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I am so sorry. This is entitled and abusive behaviour. Even if all other aspects of your relationship are good he is taking advantage of you when you are vulnerable. The simplest, but most difficult, solution is to leave him. If you struggle with this, consider how you'd react if you were told a similar story by your sister or a close friend - what would you think of their boyfriend if he did the same?

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I just feel stuck as iam still trying to get a job to live

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I'd that's all that's keeping you there then you know this isn't right for you. You have options. Speak to your family. Maybe you can work things out - that's up to you - but he really has to get it that what he's doing is abusive.

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Iam going to look what I should do as I can't keep living like this

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Get away asap!!!

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I am stuck at the moment iam going to see what I can do to live as soon as I can

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Is it possible to get him out? Or someone you could stay with?

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I live with him at he's mums and dads house

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How are things? Did you manage to leave or at least make him sleep on the sofa?

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Do you have children there with you and him now?

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No my kids live with my mum I live with him at he's mums and dads house

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That's good they are in a safe place. Have you tried talking to your family about the need to be moving on from that relationship.

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I don't what to worry my mum

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You wouldn't have to tell her the details just that it's not working out. She may be please about it.

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